MaryBeth Claire

• Artist: StrangedollAfterall
• Description: I struggled with self abuse for seven years, finally being able to permanently quit on June 15, 2009. This is a reedited version of a draft that I wrote from the same day that I quit.
• Date: 08/15/2012
• Tags: selfabuse pain fragile scars sadness

Hello MaryBeth Claire;
You watched as the sadness lingered for days and I couldn’t find a way out.
All I wanted was a way to escape this darkness and I turned to you to save me.
I faked smiles and hid tears for far too long.
I look at the bandages on my thin wrists.
I look at the long sleeves covering my arms.
It was just another memory permanently etched into my fragile skin.
The longer I hid it the more destructive I became.
The ruby rivers surrounded by dried drops of deep red jewels.
I remember the hurt that I felt in my heart every single time.
I finally realized that I can’t do this anymore.
Day by day you silently tear me apart.
Why can’t you see that you hurt me?
I can’t still call you a friend.
Friends don’t hurt one another.
You don’t love me; I can see that by the way you hurt me.
Little by little you carved away at the real me.
You only left behind a monster.
Every scar and memory reminds me of all the things you put me through.
You kept me locked up in a prison cell of forgotten and hurt.
I was wrong to believe that letting go was the only way out.
After all of these years, I can’t believe I called you my best friend.
I still can’t believe that I trusted you.
Goodbye, MaryBeth Claire.

Comments

[The_Insane_Poet96]

Self abuse is such a bittersweet and euphoric way to kill ourselves from the inside out... this phenomenon is well portrayed in this piece. thank you.

[Sedna Dragon]

That was brilliant you should put that in a book and thank you for letting me read this.