What is this?

• Artist: Time_4_a_change
• Description: I've never written a poem before, but I decided to try.
  A poem about the dark empty insanity I feel within me.
  I'd say enjoy, but how could you enjoy something depressing?
• Date: 09/18/2013
• Tags: dark empty lost hell insanity

This is darkness,
but what is this?
I'm feeling heartless,
should I dismiss?
They say I'm sane,
but there's nothing inside,
who is to blame,
for my twisted mind?
Me?
Nobody?
Lovers of my past,
tearing at my insides?
I hope this doesn't last,
washes away with the tides.
It feels like eternity,
who, where am I?
What am I doing here?
Am I good or bad?
I'm full of this fear,
and I feel so sad.
I confine myself,
locked away in my room.
A cross on the shelf,
I'll be with you soon..
I can't end it though,
don't even know why.
Since I feel so low,
should I get high?
No, that was my past,
everything in it, a lie.
But if this is the truth,
I just want to die.
What have I become?
Where is my happiness?
I've been played like a drum,
maybe they caused this madness.
Maybe it was the beatings,
maybe it was the oppression,
oh, a person, hello, greetings.
They need not know of this depression.
Smile engage, ready to converse,
don't pass on this empty insanity.
Just be myself, but the reverse,
don't even hint at my loss of humanity.
Alone again, good, shut down.
Swirling limp in this storm of self hate,
around and around,
no way to escape.
Is this my life?
Constantly feeling like piss?
Nothing but darkness,
what the hell is this?

Comments

[Nemone]

You'd be surprised at what people can enjoy. razz Anyways, it's not bad for a first poem at all. Somehow the center alignment throws me off but that's only because I'm not used to it. Keep writing alright, I used to write a lot when I was feeling down and ironically I always found my best works coming out when I was at my worst.