Me, myself, i, her, and them.

[DvnT]

okay, i can change my personality to fit anyones around me. i can go from "like-ttly-nw!-so-pink/hollister" to "i-want-to-die" in under five minutes.

because of this, i have gone from the freak no one wanted to hang out with to the person everyones heard of in under five years. i dont know how to handle it. i never had many friends and now i say i have a few, but soo many people say that they're my friends --even if they dont really know me.

the personality thing is starting to bug me also. i just want everyone to be content. i change so people around me can feel comfortable. i have friends from every social group in the school: preps, emos, goths, jocks, newbies; everything. but when i try to be myself [[like when im around another person who does the personality change thing,]] i dont know who i am. then when i actually know, my bff tells me im being an idiot.

i dont really let what others think of me bug me. but when im alone, i tend to think of that, and then i remember what people say when im me, and not them.

i want to fix it, but i see im losing friends being myself. now i have the strangest mood swings anyone has ever known. and i have tried to stop making others happy, without my mom noticing. but everyone says im being an idiot and my mom has even noticed a complete diffrence in me.

does anyone have advice?? im lost, i do know who i am, and all i want is for others to be happy --and not worry about me. stressed  

[Calypsophia]

dvn -camilla price-

okay, i can change my personality to fit anyones around me. i can go from "like-ttly-nw!-so-pink/hollister" to "i-want-to-die" in under five minutes.

because of this, i have gone from the freak no one wanted to hang out with to the person everyones heard of in under five years. i dont know how to handle it. i never had many friends and now i say i have a few, but soo many people say that they're my friends --even if they dont really know me.

the personality thing is starting to bug me also. i just want everyone to be content. i change so people around me can feel comfortable. i have friends from every social group in the school: preps, emos, goths, jocks, newbies; everything. but when i try to be myself [[like when im around another person who does the personality change thing,]] i dont know who i am. then when i actually know, my bff tells me im being an idiot.

i dont really let what others think of me bug me. but when im alone, i tend to think of that, and then i remember what people say when im me, and not them.

i want to fix it, but i see im losing friends being myself. now i have the strangest mood swings anyone has ever known. and i have tried to stop making others happy, without my mom noticing. but everyone says im being an idiot and my mom has even noticed a complete diffrence in me.

does anyone have advice?? im lost, i dont know who i am, and all i want is for others to be happy --and not worry about me. stressed

unfortunately no one can please everyone, so that's an aspiration you're never going to achieve and you're finding out why right now. when you try to please *everyone* you eventually make yourself miserable. perhaps I'm reading this wrong, and if I am then forgive me, but it sounds like you turn yourself into something you're not for the sake of gaining friends. and when you do that you're not only lying to yourself, you're lying to them as well.. so when you come out and try to be who you really are, you're a stranger to them and after a while of being someone you're not, you dont know yourself either.

I think you need to stop worrying about making other people happy and get back to the basics of who you really are. people need to accept you for who you are and nothing else. that's the only way you're really gonna be happy.  

[shani26]

I am so induvidal i am having truble to relate to that. I dress comftarbly and i ussaly say what i want (expet when i know it can hurt others), and i can even express myself when i know what i am going to say isn't poplar.
I can give you example, i went to study in a new school and i so everybody is talking in the middle of the class so i ask them politly to "shut up", even when i new it doesn't make me poplar.
We all live in a sosicety that has norm of behavier. Difrents group has diffrent norms, as long as the norm don't take to much controll over what you want to echive in life, you i think you should be fine.  

[KitKat195]

dvn -camilla price-

unfortunately no one can please everyone, so that's an aspiration you're never going to achieve and you're finding out why right now. when you try to please *everyone* you eventually make yourself miserable. perhaps I'm reading this wrong, and if I am then forgive me, but it sounds like you turn yourself into something you're not for the sake of gaining friends. and when you do that you're not only lying to yourself, you're lying to them as well.. so when you come out and try to be who you really are, you're a stranger to them and after a while of being someone you're not, you dont know yourself either.

I think you need to stop worrying about making other people happy and get back to the basics of who you really are. people need to accept you for who you are and nothing else. that's the only way you're really gonna be happy.

3nodding I agree with camilla. You need to let people know who you are. Sure, some might think that you're a bit crazy, but most of them probably don't know the real you! Party like yourself, I did that and I have lots of friends. People will respect you for who you are, so don't be afraid! Now go! *pushes*  

[DvnT]

okay, i dont really change who i am, so much as i change how i act. like, when im with one of my friends, i am the most nuts person you will ever meet. and i dont care. but when im with another, im selfconsious, i dont make eye contact. this is all because thats how the other person is feeling. i know that one of my friends is lying about everything being all right because i get the depressed feeling, the feeling where she doesnt want us to know how bad she is. and ive oriented my self to her to figure out why in a why that wont bother her, because of this. its hard to explain.....

you know how laughing is contagious?[sp?] well, emotions are just as contagous to me. does that make it clearer?  

[shani26]

It looks to me you just feel empathy, really strong one.  

[daggblu4]

well, this sort of situation is hard to address online. shani is right. you're very empathetic. maybe you have to figure yourself out first. study yourself. know yourself. explore. one day you'll grow into your own person. you'll fit into who you're comfortable with. some people, even as they age, will never really understand who they are. if anything, this understanding won't come until real later in their life. but with you, it seems like you're just acclimating yourself to your environs (for lack of better words). just learn where to put a boundary on yourself and others. that way, you could be yourself while not bleeding into your companion's personality. ex, if you're around a mentally sick individual, are you also going to be like that?  

[DvnT]

its sounds like your all just saying i should stop. i cant just do that, there is no stop button on this. when im around my friend katy-chan, we both get so hyper it seems we need ridaline[sp?] and i just get that way around her. when im around bitty-chan, im totaly calm, thinking, etc. and i dont even relize it when something changes. gracy-chan gets me 'evil' you could say, and it just happens. this is their personalitys, i know mine already because im alone enough to. but i cant be myself because of this.

i know when things are wrong, because i feel like im hiding the depressoin with a pretty face --i know this is the feeling because ive felt it, so dont say i dont know. i know when things truely are going great because i can feel it. even if someone lies to me and says they are awesome, i can tell that something is bothering them. no matter what this happens.  

[daggblu4]

well, i guess if that really is already your personality..then, that's it. if that's who you really are- a chameleon, then..that's who you are. neutral but what the key word is: you mentioned your annoyance at yourself. you're giving the impression that you don't like something about how you act or appear..or w/e it is. it's cool to be empathetic coz that just means you're able to accommodate someone's feelings. you know, like, they'll feel you can relate. in time, you'll figure yourself out and be able to settle into who you feel most comfortable in your own skin. i don't know how old you are, obviously rolleyes , but age doesn't matter. it's how we all grow up to be.

hope we all bring you some insight. and if anyone, even IRL, becomes negative towards you and your situation, just sit back and think of it as a lesson to be learned. just absorb it and learn from it. wink  

[RayneOfChaos93]

If you try to please everyone, you will only hurt yourself.

Well I am sort of like that. Certain people get me to act certain ways. I see that you said you can't stop it and so maybe that isn't the problem. the problem is why the other people act wierd and stuff. Maybe you should take a day by yourself and think everything through. For me, if I just need a break from life bascially, I walk up to the hill and read and think. Maybe all you need is a few hours or a day or so to just think about everything.  

[shani26]

So you are afried to show poeple your real you? what do you think will happen if they will know what you are feeling?  

[DvnT]

shani26

So you are afried to show poeple your real you? what do you think will happen if they will know what you are feeling?

Im not afraid. I think that if they knew the real me, they just would feel like they dont know me, thats all. And Ive never been one to really care who I hung out with, so it doesnt bother me.

PrincessHottie_93

Maybe you should take a day by yourself and think everything through. For me, if I just need a break from life bascially, I walk up to the hill and read and think. Maybe all you need is a few hours or a day or so to just think about everything.

I have done this. And what can I do the next time Im around Katy-chan? All that happens is I get really hyper with her. I already know who I am, I just tend to know what the person Im with is actually feeling, and that feeling comes over me.

When Im alone. I read, I write, I love anything with words and emotion. Im calm, rarely hyper, shy, and thoughtful.

But when Im with someone, I become who they are, when Im around Tiffany, I crave attention; when Im around Leksy-chan, Im loud, annoying, and dont care what others think about me.

So I know who I am, thats not what is going on here. I just know and become what someone else is when Im around that person.

 

[shani26]

I think you should go to an acting group cuz this is what acters do. They change themself just to see how it is like to be someone else.
I was in an acting class once, and it gave me the freedom to be a kid for once and a cat. It was fun!  

[daggblu4]

yea..i think you should go on acting.  

[White Siren Queen]

Gah...
I've been down that road before. - -;
Ah yes.. the ability to see through to someone, find their feelings, and suddenly you find youself feeling and acting just as they do... In a way.. it kinda reminds me of conformity.. but that's not your situation.

I don't know 'bout you but when I was like that... Augh...
Yeah.. I pleased everyone. It was possible.
What's IMPOSSIBLE is keeping up with it for an excessive amount of time.

Yes, you know who you are. You becoming like the friend currently next to you at the moment though... looks like a habbit too hard to quit.

I know it's mean and inappropriate to assume... but...
Making a guess, you're saying, you don't mind who your friends are.
You know who you are. You know you can blend with the crowd and become one with 'em easily.
But you're just uncomfortable about the fact that others will view you as strange because of you.. Being you. Because there's a slight difference all of a sudden. If I'm wrong, please tell... ._.;