I tend to live behind masks....

[Van-Shun]

No matter what goes wrong in my life, i can ALWAYS fake like im pefectly fine.
My friend tried to kill herself, i cried about a half hour, then nobody could tell the difference.
Bassically, i have an AMAZINGGGGGG long list of things wrong, but every person i know will never know anything is wrong.
When i surpress things like i do, i tend to resort to cutting.

What should i do?  

[lil_lollypop1]

Well, realizing there is a problem is the first step to healing. I sometimes get that way. At school, I will talk to someone, leave for a second, and when I come back they will give me an odd look and call me weird. Anyway, first of all, cutting doesn't work. I have a lot of friends that do it and they keep telling me they will regret it forever.

Second and most important, you recognize you have problems. Write a list of all the things you want to change. Then picture and describe the person you want to be. Then sort through your problems and become the person you want to be. I'm not talking about goths or preppy or what not. I'm talking about finding who YOU are. Anyone can put themselves in a group, but not many can find themselves. Find out the things you like (such as movies, foods, friends) and find yourself. Problems tend to seem so big to you, but if you list them out, they tend not to seem as bad.

Oh yes, one more thing. People change. If the person you are or want to be dose not make you happy, find out what dose. You learn by mistakes, that's part of being human. And be happy, it's your life.

You see, you wouldn't have to be debating over which mask you should wear if you only looked in the mirror and saw how beautiful you are. Do you understand what I mean?  

[lil_lollypop1]

hay, if you need more help, I'm here for you. Just PM me, ok?  

[shani26]

I say instead of cutting yourself, go and make a beutifull tattoo. If you really want to fill the pain do it without anesthetizing.  

[Van-Shun]

shani26

I say instead of cutting yourself, go and make a beutifull tattoo. If you really want to fill the pain do it without anesthetizing.

I usually dont cut myself, but every once in a while it happens  

[Van-Shun]

lil_lollypop1

Well, realizing there is a problem is the first step to healing. I sometimes get that way. At school, I will talk to someone, leave for a second, and when I come back they will give me an odd look and call me weird. Anyway, first of all, cutting doesn't work. I have a lot of friends that do it and they keep telling me they will regret it forever.

Second and most important, you recognize you have problems. Write a list of all the things you want to change. Then picture and describe the person you want to be. Then sort through your problems and become the person you want to be. I'm not talking about goths or preppy or what not. I'm talking about finding who YOU are. Anyone can put themselves in a group, but not many can find themselves. Find out the things you like (such as movies, foods, friends) and find yourself. Problems tend to seem so big to you, but if you list them out, they tend not to seem as bad.

Oh yes, one more thing. People change. If the person you are or want to be dose not make you happy, find out what dose. You learn by mistakes, that's part of being human. And be happy, it's your life.

You see, you wouldn't have to be debating over which mask you should wear if you only looked in the mirror and saw how beautiful you are. Do you understand what I mean?

Thanks =]  

[lil_lollypop1]

No problem! ^_^  

[Groucho and Karl]

That was great how you helped him like that. biggrin  

[MiStiEM00K]

I can keep a [(secret)] if you can keep me guessing
the //flavor// of your lips is enough to keep me pressing ...

aww blakey-poo heart

i know how you feel.
i tend to keep everything to myself;;
and when i can;t deal with the pain anymore
i just cry until i can;t anymore.

i don;t cut myself thoughh;;
it;s come to the point where i;ve considered suicide
but i;ve never actually HURT myself.

i think the best thing for you right now would be to find a friend, someone you can rely on for anything, someone you trust completely, someone you know will always be there for you;; and talk to them about what;s wrong.
you also need to figure out who you are;; and who you want to be.
you can;t just let people see you as something you;re probably not.
it really doesn;t work, blakey-poo.

it;s gonna seem hard;; but you just gotta put yourself out there;; and hope for the best. people will like you for who you are;; i promise!
and if someone doesn;t then you shouldn;t care
cos; there;s like, 0987657897654 5678976543567897654345678654356786543567865435676543245676543 people in the world;; so it;s okay if someone doesn;t like you, cos; there;s everyone else that will =)

... for more than just a [(moment)] of truth between the //lies//
told to pull ourselves away from the _lives_ we leave back

 

[Zamoles]

Hybridblake II

No matter what goes wrong in my life, i can ALWAYS fake like im pefectly fine.
My friend tried to kill herself, i cried about a half hour, then nobody could tell the difference.
Bassically, i have an AMAZINGGGGGG long list of things wrong, but every person i know will never know anything is wrong.
When i surpress things like i do, i tend to resort to cutting.

What should i do?

I think we share the same problem... I also feel obligated by myself to hide my feelings so at the end nobody could be possibly affected.... I cannot help you with that because I'm still fighting against that... but I think Jesus can help you...  

[Lunar_Sunset]

its semi like the same here i had the same thing when 1 of meh best friends tried to kill herself. just remember ur friends will always be there 4 u and if u r religous let ur faith help u. meh very best friend who is like meh sis told meh tat its okay to cry. if u r upset tell someone u can trust. i have always tried to be like the tough onewho knw never cried and always comforted ppl. i was at meh church and something was going on and all these thoughts started runnin through meh head and i started to cry and meh friends were rite there for meh. i was so shocked. sometimes cryin can be a good thing 4 u. last friday one of meh friends(not very close friends)was upset and started to cry and i was rite there for her. then she didnt want meh to leave her. then she told meh everythin going on and i just wanted to start cryin 4 her and for meh and all of meh other friends. now we r very close. just dont hurt urself more cuz tats not good for u. i thought bout doin some pretty stupid things sometimes but then i get all these thoughts of meh friends,meh parents,and meh God tellin meh not to. i knw though tat if it ever did happen meh family and friends would be there to help meh. think bout tat. remember when u hurt urself u hurt the ppl u love and the ppl who love you. hope tat hels u at least a little bit.  

[Armadia]

I definitely understand the mask thing, I've worn one my entire life. But, you really need to work on opening up to people, and as some of the other people here have said, find someone close, who you can trust. Keeping it all inside...it destroys you after a while...and you think you've got everything covered until one day you get a crack in your mask and it all goes to pieces,
and I say this from personal experience. It's frightening, opening yourself to another person..it can make you feel vulnerable and exposed...but, when you find that one person you trust, the relief that comes from sharing your burdens is amazing.
I don't know if that helped at all, but I sincerely hope you are able to find your way, and find who you are. Don't let pain define you as a person!
Also, I think you would be surprised how many people feel the way you do...true, they don't feel exactly the same, but I think a lot of people hide.
I know that when I told some of my teachers at school that I have social anxiety disorder and depression they were all, "Really? I never would have guessed...not in a million years" because I hid it, and I hid it well. And I know it hurts to feel like you're suffering in silence, and how frustrating it can be that no one notices, but you need to hang in there because things will get better. And if you really feel that there is something seriously wrong with you, you could always try seeing a therapist, because I know for me, before I was diagnosed, I had a lot of anger and pain and loneliness and freaking out on the inside, and having a name to put to it helped a lot.
Anyway, I hope things start looking up for you, and as lil_lollypop1 said, if you ever need someone to talk to, you can PM me too *hugs* 3nodding  

[Garynook]

One of the best things that helped me with my own mask was finding a thrustworthy friend whom is willing to listen and go loose. It is better to share it with one than to crop it up and end up scarring yourself even further. Heck you might end up knowing alot more of that person too. or a g f like I did.  

[Zat In The Hat]

dude get therapy if you resort to cutting you know your depressed or you can talk stuff out.

Edit: Bottling up emotions or problems doesen't make it go away.