Losing my best friends...why does this keep happening?

[Vini-Vidi-Vici]

*sighs* I've been thinking an awful lot about going into highschool. I'm scared and excited and hurt all at the same time. Scared in fear I might get lost or do something stupid and force a bad reputation upon myself, excited because I get to meet new people and finally get to persue the career I really want and hurt...for 2 reasons. Losing my friends, and fighting to keep one. My best friends and I are all going to different schools this year, and I wont get to spend so much time with them anymore and confide in them with my secrets and worries and problems, and them with me because none of us will understand fully. All except one, the one I feel I have to fight to keep. I know she might tell me that I dont have to fight for it, and that we're still friends. But I feel like she wants to avoid me, to not get involved with me again, and just totally forget about me. I want to tell her Im not an easy person to get rid of, cause im not. She's friends with my friends, Im friends with one of hers, and there's absolutly NO way I can lose her. She's too big apart of my life. And that's whats frustrating, because I feel like I have to fight to keep her close. Shes next to the last thing I have for sanity and anti-worriness. She's the last person Im comfortable in telling my problems and fears and secrets. I mean, I know I could tell my best friends, but like I said, they wouldn't understand fully because they're going into different schools.....*sighs* I wish there was an easier way to live life, without worry, without pain and without fear. (( my friend, the one that I feel like I have to fight to keep is my recent ex-girlfriend...just to clear that up xD))  

[MiiSS MAYH3M]

Heh. I actually had the same problem going into high school. Sometimes, yes, you will have to fight to keep friends, but I guarntee you, if they're really your friends, you wouldn't have to fight for them. I know this may sound cheesy, but I strongly believe in the saying "If you love them let them go, if they don't come back, hunt then down and kill the person that took them away."

Heh and you though it was gonna be the sentimental version. No, I won't say HS is easy with relationships and especially if you're not going to the same school. The best thing is, if you feel like you're going to lose them, explain your feelings to them calmly, and if they don't understand don't dwell on it, just take a deep breath, move on, and find new friends.

This will seem extremely hard, especially if they're such a big part of your life. Trust me, I myself just lost a very good friend to a different group of people. His name was Alex, and ironically, my latest ex. too. ^^

Anyways, I hope this helps you some. Please feel free to PM me if you feel the need!  

[Not Importante]

Woah I had like the same exact thing happen to me but it was in elementary school when I was seperated from my best friends. I rarely talk to them now too. Kinda sad I guess. And when I made new friends in middle school we drifted apart a couple years ago when I was a freshman. Now I rarely talk to ANY of my friends since I hate hanging out with them. I feel uncomfortable around them cept for a select few.

I guess its something everyone will face in life. I say just try your hardest to keep your friendships strong.  

[Vini-Vidi-Vici]

But with my 2 really close friends, Megan and Shaylin, we plan on having a sort of systerm, like, once every month we get together and we'll keep in contact all the time so that we dont drift apart. The one I feel i have to fight to keep, the one that seems to be pushing me away is the one im worried about, because if i dont have her, ill have next to no one. I mean, i have friends, but im not close to them like i am with my other friends, they're just.....well known aquaintences if you will. And im not the best social butterfly either xD  

[Blank of Tantalus]

If you haven't already, tell her what you just told us. Your words seem from the heart, and if you could just bring in the topic sometime, say what you feel and what you're willing to do. If things resort to being separated, I wouldn't worry too much. Life is too short to dwell on things, and yet long enough for so many other things to happen. You'll meet new people, and you never know, one of them might be the support you need. High school is an interesting place, and be sure, you are not the only one that has had to go through this. 3nodding

-My Experience-
Going into high school I had a good-sized group of friends. We were surprising all of different ethnicity, and I always felt special to be in a group that was so diverse. Once high school started, however, I found out that our bond wasn't as strong as I thought it was. After one friend moved away to Japan after freshman year, we all just fell apart. Now, we all hang around with completely different people, except for me and one of my friends from the group. Unfortunately, it is just us two, and sadly I feel that we just hang out together to hang on to our glorified past. I'm going to be a senior now, so imagine two, soon to be three, years of hanging with only one other person. Now that I think about it, it sounds a little pathetic, heh. But this isn't really helping your situation.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, holding onto your past isnt always the best thing. You should cherish it, but move on. I wasn't so lucky - seeing that my friend has no other friends, I somewhat feel obligated to stay with her, and thus, am stuck in the past, but not the past that I loved. I've accepted and really don't mind being alone (I like it actually), but for my outgoing friend, I can only imagine how she feels. >.>  

[Vini-Vidi-Vici]

I know it's hard, I just come from a headstrong family and have a hard time comprehending that I will have to let go if things dont go as planned. I think Im just so wrapped up in the now and dont want to think about what the future holds because I dont want to let go. I mean, Im still recovering from my recent break-up with my girlfriend, I know if we can't be friends I'll have to let go, and that, I guess will be fine, because there is obviously someone else out there for me, but losing my best friends, one of whom ive had since fourth grade, who supported and helped me get through my parents divorce and when I moved here, I dont want to let go of that. And the other, We're practically blood we're so alike, I tell her everything and she tells me everything and we stick on the same opinions...it'll just be to hard to let go of them both..idk, my emotions are just being stubborn I guess xD Thanks though, you all made me feel a bit better. 3nodding heart heart  

[Vini-Vidi-Vici]

Actually, now that I think about it, my friend Megan's brother will e going to school with me, and we're kinda friends...so it can't be all bad, i'll still have Megan, it's just Shaylin I think I'd miss alot because with megan....we're kinda different, she's the girly-girl who LOVES shopping and pocketbooks and make up and hair and all that good stuff, I, am pretty much the total opposite. I like shopping, and I like dressing nice, Im just not extremely preppy like she is. Shaylin is basicly another form of me, only more, rock-head-ish. Im kinda the mix of them both really xD I guess it won't be so bad heart  

[Blank of Tantalus]

Yay! That's good to hear. heart 3nodding And you know, if you ever need more advice on anything, there are many people on Gaia with open ears, heh. Though its a little different then having a real person to talk to, at least you know were all here. ^^ Anyway, I'm sure everything will turn out okay. I wish you luck in high school! (Bleh, that reminds me... School starts in five days for me. =__=; ))  

[Vini-Vidi-Vici]

Thanks so much heart school for us starts on the 30th...and Im not ready for summer to end yet!! xD  

[Vini-Vidi-Vici]

*growls and claws at something cloth-like and random*
I don't know what to do about her anymore! I called her today (my ex...the one who im fighting to keep as my friend) just for a little chit chat thing, I asked a couple of questions, she stated her opinions or they were just one word answers..I was trying to converse but she seemed to have absolutly no interest...which bugged me. How am I supposed to talk to her if she won't talk to me? It's driving me crazy now because I'm still (stupidly) tearing myself apart because of her. At this point, I care and I dont...which is odd because you can't care and not care...I want her to talk to me..I want to talk to her...and think of all these things to talk to her about, and when I tell them to her, they have absolutly no affect! (although, I havent told her about the stunt my friend megan and I pulled, we tried searching for the 51st state in the U.S....there isn't one) So I asked her about her...and she didn't tell me all that much. I'm the one that always starts the conversations, I'm the one that always has to call..I'm the one who still wants to be friends...I just with she'd tell me weather or not she wants me as a friend...you know what? I think she doesnt want to be my friend because the day we broke up was the day I yelled at her and confronted her on so many things and she's probably still mad because she thinks I'm the bad guy when I wasn't the one who had FEELINGS FOR ANOTHER GIRL!!!...............thats why im clawing at something cloth-like and random...*slaps forehead and sulks* I really need help...someone convinve me, please, to finally let go and move on...my mind isn't letting me convince myself... cry  

[V For V]

I am a recent High School graduate and I can tell you I was ready to kill myself as I came out of Junior High. Many of my classmates felt the same way about middle school. It was the worst experience of our lives collectively.

Trust me, if you lose anyone as you enter High School you'll gain a lot back. People wake up and mature (for the most part). And the higher grade level you get, the less hard work your teachers will force. It will get to the point where your teachers get nicknames.  

[Vini-Vidi-Vici]

Yeah, its like that saying, "you lose some, you gain some.."or something like that. I guess I just get too attached to things. The thing that's driving me crazy now though is my freakin bus schedule...I know im taking a school bus but I have no idea where its picking me up, we got a letter in from the school yesterday saying that, so i dont know what the hell is going on...then they asked us to get this kind of expensive calculator...like a regular calculator wouldn't work...it has numbers doesnt it??!!
stupid things like that frustrate me...  

[Love Volim]

I know howm you feel, the only friend i have that i dont have to fight for, is on the other side of the country. And i'm going into my first year of high school too. but, guess i know its going to be ok... i know true friends will come around, friends i wont have to fight for!  

[Vini-Vidi-Vici]

Yeah, it'd be better though if life didn't have all these stupid twists...it isn't funny! *shakes fist at sky* but I guess it's a lesson in itself too. confused  

[Tempus_Glacia]

Ok, I have (recently no doubt...) near the same problem. I graduated High School in 2004, but I've been best friends with a girl since our Sophmore year. We met on the day my brother was born and had been more or less attached at the hip since then. However, last year, we joined up with our Local Ren. Faire and it completely and totally changed her. Suddenly nothing I did was good enough, I wasn't witty enough, and I could do nothing right.

Well, I figured "Let the season blow over, it'll get better." so, I let the Faire take it's coarse and I was right, things got better. I moved in with her so I could attend college (I don't drive...) and all was peachy. Well, in October, we went BACK to the Castle (Um...the Oklahoma Renaissance Faire is held at the Castle of Muskogee...) to do Haunted Castle and things went to hell all over again. I had just been with my boyfriend for a month and she was cool with that.

One night, however, we got into this HUGE fight, and Chris has been "Stupid" and "Not good enough" since then, and all its done is tear us further, and further apart. About the only thing we can do civilized like is talk on the phone and be civil to each other when her mom is around. Other wise SHE (NOT me until she gets going!) is horrid, crude, talks down at me like I don't understand the things coming out of her mouth, and her ATTITUDE just SCREAMS that I'm not good enough for her.

With that said, she's been my friend for nearly 5 years, and its really, really, REALLY hard to let her go (I'm really clingy...) but everyone keeps telling me I'm better off, and that if she was really my friend, she wouldn't treat me the way she does/did/has been, and they're absolutely right. So, with that in mind, its been a litle easier to forget about her. It hurts, but it can be done.

...Just a little insight that you're not alone in the fact. I don't know if that'll help you get through it or not, but, maybe. You never know <3