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 Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 9:31 am
So.. here's my problem. I've got serious trust issues. Not the normal trust issues, I have serious trust issues. I'm in a self defense class, and I have my sensei in there, the class is to teach us to trust out sixth sense and what we can do, tecniques we can use and things like that to defend ourselves. The first class there were eight of us girls. The next class there was one. Me. And the sensei and his two assistants. The next class he just had one assistant. And last class he just had himself. I, frankly, freaked out. Especially since we had been working in the gym where people could come and go easily, and then we suddenly moved into a tiny room. Granted, there were plenty of doors and windows but still. I got so scared that I ran around campus for a half an hour looking for someone that would go to class with me until I finally called one of my friends (who wasn't in college so technically she shouldn't have been in there) to come with me. The thing we were talking about that class was rape, I think if I had been there alone I would have been too upset to do anything. Especially since we were practicing how to get out of pins.
My trust issues come from my past. And my problem, I guess, really is that I don't know how to move past what happened when I was younger. I've been trying to find new ways, especially since I've talked to about a million differant people but nothing has helped. My mother thinks I have depression (it runs in our family), one of my best friends thinks I'm bi-polar (which I recently learned runs in my family as well). I don't have insurance to get serious help and the last time I was in a counciling place they put me on a waiting list because I couldn't find a consistant time to come (I was never called back).
If anyone has any suggestions that would be wonderful. I'm willing to try anything to get rid of this horrible feeling of not trusting anyone. Not only is it tearing me up inside, but I end up hurting my family and friends because I can't tell them what's wrong. I get choked up, or I just stop speaking. It's depressing really, but I've learned to deal with the consiquences of my problem. Now I'd really like to deal with the problem itself.
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Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 10:20 am
ok, i think i follow. i had trust problems as well. maybe not that bad [ok, DEFINITELY not that bad], ut i think i can b of some use. problem #1: u learned to live with the consequence of not trusting anyone. u r geting 2 the point where it's like it doesn't matter anymore, and it's like it doesn't affect u, and it's obvious it's not like that, bcs u say it tears u up inside. #2, think of it this way: if don't trust ppl, would u have friends in the first place? would u ask and willing t try anything? u do trust, jus not enough, i'll give u that much. furthermore, if u don't trust, u r taking evryhing upon urself, and that just can't b. think of pushing a truck: can a person alone do it? no. sure, maybe some guy who grew enough muscles and dedicates to that, but that's not ur case. and so, my point is made. suggestion: don't try an overnight change, it won't happen, and it won't work. change comes gradually, so u should try it little by little. start with seemingly useless stuff [note, SEEMINGLY, NOT TRUE USELESS INFO]. little by little, say more stuff. speak ur mind more. it's not gonna happen overnight, like already said. don't force it, either. forced change usually turns out wrong. it's little by little. eventually u'll realize the change, and note that u r trusting ppl more. by seeing the outcome of the little things, u'll feel more confident about bigger things, and slowly u'll dare and allow urself to trust more. with these little achievements u can notice that it is within u to trust, not like now that u feel u cannot trust.
i dunno if u understood, or not, or if it was too long, perhaps it was. but i hope it was of use. if anything else, don't hesitate about asking me. just PM me, and i'll b glad to help any way it's possible 3nodding take care, and i hope it works out
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Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 3:13 pm
Sotur ok, i think i follow. i had trust problems as well. maybe not that bad [ok, DEFINITELY not that bad], ut i think i can b of some use. problem #1: u learned to live with the consequence of not trusting anyone. u r geting 2 the point where it's like it doesn't matter anymore, and it's like it doesn't affect u, and it's obvious it's not like that, bcs u say it tears u up inside. #2, think of it this way: if don't trust ppl, would u have friends in the first place? would u ask and willing t try anything? u do trust, jus not enough, i'll give u that much. furthermore, if u don't trust, u r taking evryhing upon urself, and that just can't b. think of pushing a truck: can a person alone do it? no. sure, maybe some guy who grew enough muscles and dedicates to that, but that's not ur case. and so, my point is made. suggestion: don't try an overnight change, it won't happen, and it won't work. change comes gradually, so u should try it little by little. start with seemingly useless stuff [note, SEEMINGLY, NOT TRUE USELESS INFO]. little by little, say more stuff. speak ur mind more. it's not gonna happen overnight, like already said. don't force it, either. forced change usually turns out wrong. it's little by little. eventually u'll realize the change, and note that u r trusting ppl more. by seeing the outcome of the little things, u'll feel more confident about bigger things, and slowly u'll dare and allow urself to trust more. with these little achievements u can notice that it is within u to trust, not like now that u feel u cannot trust. i dunno if u understood, or not, or if it was too long, perhaps it was. but i hope it was of use. if anything else, don't hesitate about asking me. just PM me, and i'll b glad to help any way it's possible 3nodding take care, and i hope it works out
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Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 7:02 pm
CrimsonFangs Sotur ok, i think i follow. i had trust problems as well. maybe not that bad [ok, DEFINITELY not that bad], ut i think i can b of some use. problem #1: u learned to live with the consequence of not trusting anyone. u r geting 2 the point where it's like it doesn't matter anymore, and it's like it doesn't affect u, and it's obvious it's not like that, bcs u say it tears u up inside. #2, think of it this way: if don't trust ppl, would u have friends in the first place? would u ask and willing t try anything? u do trust, jus not enough, i'll give u that much. furthermore, if u don't trust, u r taking evryhing upon urself, and that just can't b. think of pushing a truck: can a person alone do it? no. sure, maybe some guy who grew enough muscles and dedicates to that, but that's not ur case. and so, my point is made. suggestion: don't try an overnight change, it won't happen, and it won't work. change comes gradually, so u should try it little by little. start with seemingly useless stuff [note, SEEMINGLY, NOT TRUE USELESS INFO]. little by little, say more stuff. speak ur mind more. it's not gonna happen overnight, like already said. don't force it, either. forced change usually turns out wrong. it's little by little. eventually u'll realize the change, and note that u r trusting ppl more. by seeing the outcome of the little things, u'll feel more confident about bigger things, and slowly u'll dare and allow urself to trust more. with these little achievements u can notice that it is within u to trust, not like now that u feel u cannot trust. i dunno if u understood, or not, or if it was too long, perhaps it was. but i hope it was of use. if anything else, don't hesitate about asking me. just PM me, and i'll b glad to help any way it's possible 3nodding take care, and i hope it works out yes...thank you sotur...that is also my problem too....thanks for asking too crimson! Thank you guys!
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