coming out...

[baigais]

At the end of the last school year, I found that I was becoming attracted to my best friend. See, but she's of the same gender as I am, so it was difficult for me to deal with. I finally told her and she treated me like I had become a completely different person. She started acting rude and mean and she wouldn't treat me like a normal person until I told her that I didn't have feelings for her anymore. I figured that I would just ignore my attraction to members of the same gender, but I now have a "crush" on a girl that I met last year. She knows about my orientation and people that I met this year know, but I can't feel comfortable coming out to the friends that I've had for a while because of the way my best friend treated me.

I also can't tell my parents because my mom's crazy religious and if she finds out, she'll drag me to church to be blessed or hit me in the face with a chair, or something. And though my dad's not religious, he's a total homophobe, so it's pretty much out of the question.

I don't really know what to do. I don't think I'll ever tell my parents, but I am tempted very often to tell my friends. I get scared when I start to tell them, so I just keep it to myself around them.  

[Love Volim]

I would tell your friends, I have a friend whos bi and i'm fine around her. I dont see what the big deal is, everyone has friends of the oppsite sex right? I also have a male friend that likes me, thes are alittle wierd but i dont act rude to him... ~mabey thats why he swont get the hint i dont like him~
Anyway! your friends should beable to accept what you are.
but thats just what I think...  

[evasive_warrior]

Well, in regards to your friends I also think that you should tell them. Frankly, I don't have a problem with bi-sexual people because they're still people. All that matters is that they're good people. I think they will accept you for who you are, assuming that they are your real friends because real friends should accept you always. Real friends won't turn you away.  

[Sotur]

i agree with evasive warrior. real friends accept u for who u r, not ur sexual preferences. i have a guy friend who is gay, and while some ppl may say it's not the same bcs i'm a girl and he's a guy, i think the acceptance issue is the same. when he told me i was perfectly fine with it. i treat him the very same way i used to. he's a real friend, not just some phony, and i wouldn't risk losing that over which gender he likes. point being, if they r ur real friends, they will accept u for who u r, not what u like. of course, u need to understnd that hitting on them would b wrong if they like the other gender, i'm sure u understand, but i say it nonetheless. the important thing here is having everything "straightened out". and like evryone has said here: if they r ur true friends, they won't mind.  

[Tarrien]

Sexual preference isn't something that you should be discriminated against in close friendships. But, depending on how some people are raised... it can turn out that way... I'd say gradually hint by asking randomly about what they think about certain things pertaining to liking the same gender... see their reactions... if it looks grim don't... if they don't seem bothered try telling them a little later.  

[baigais]

Wow, thanks all. I'm feeling a little better about it now, and I'm coming to terms with it. Thanks for all your advice, it's really helped me.  

[evasive_warrior]

No problem  

[[Razzberry Kamikaze]]

You like who you like. There's nothing wrong with it. Accept who you are, if other's cant that you know, there are others out there who will.

wink  

[Sotur]

glad to help, even if just a little bit 3nodding whee  

[ojeilatan]

I agree with the earlier post that stated that that your true friends will not turn you away. It can be painful to find out that people you have cared for don't supoort you when you need it most, but in the long run, you will be better off. Also, you might want to see if there is an LGBT support group near you....they can be amazingly helpful. And you will meet others who are struggling with the same things you are, and who will truly support and listen to you.

Hope that helps smile  

[Ayllin]

If they're really your friends they won't care. Yes, it would be a little akward, but real friends are there for you. Personally, I don't really mind gay/bi people, that's there choice- just leave me out of it. But I think it would be a little freaky to learn that your best friend of the same gender has a crush on you, but that is no excuss for her to treat you rudely. Try and put yourself in your friend's shoes and when you tell them, it may make things a little easier for everyone wink  

[Professor Ben Bruckner]

[[The Look Stapled On Your Face Cries Out For Forgiveness]]...

Chances are your friends won't care as much as you think. I know most of my friends have no problem with my orientation. Except my best friend, so I can relate with that. I told my best friend I had feelings for him. He just told me that I was wrong and ignored it and pretended that I had not said a word. That sort of killed me inside.

...[[The One Thing That I Cannot Give]]

 

[Tears of Malice]

Yeah, basically, the worst thing to do is to keep your feelings hidden from them. All that can come from that is more pain. Just be yourself when you do tell them. Treat it as just another thing.  

[Neon Proxy]

Every {time} I bleed, ~there~ lies the reason -to- live...
===============~{The Final}~===============

What more is there to be said? Everones already stated whats on my mind, A real friend wouldn't reject and hate you just because you like them, Sure they might be offended slightly but A true friend would never hate someone for reasons as stupid as that.
And as for coming out and such...I can't really help you there, I technically never really "came out" in the first place...everyone just found my Myspace page. >_O

===============~{The Final}~=================
...And I (-discover-) words _becoming_ so vivid and bright.

 

[Sarallelogram]

He'll always be my

True friends shouldn't care if you're homosexual,
especially if you've been friends for a long time.
You're still the same person and if their good friends they'll understand.

And as for your mom,
I absolutely hate when people use religion as a reason to not like homosexuals.
In most all religions, God supposedly loves everyone equally,
why should that exclude homosexuals?
It's stupid!

My best friend, who has been my best friend since the day I was born,
is a lesbian, and I love her just as much as I did when I thought she was straight.
It's fun to joke around about it with her XD

Anyways, I say if your friends really are your friends
it won't change the way they look at you.

S u p e r h e r o <3