I just need to get it off my chest </3

[Sarallelogram]

I once had a friend named Shammit and for about two and a half years after we met
we would talk online for a couple hours every night.
I told him everything,
he was the only person I felt comfortable opening up to.
Then about 7-8 months ago he flipped on me,
saying that I had to stop acting like we were best friends
'cause I hardly knew him and that I was getting "too close."
I tried to get him to just talk to me
and tell me if there was something wrong but he wouldn't.
I was devistated, it took all of my strength to keep from crying in front of my family.
The first few months after it happened
I kept trying to talk to him but he always refused to respond.
I kinda gave up after that.
I couldn't talk to anyone about it.
My friend Jessica said she was glad it happened,
she hated him.
He was always mean to her.
But he was never mean to me before.
She said not to worry about it 'cause he was an a**.
But she didn't understand,
he was the only person I could talk to,
losing his friendship made me feel empty.

Lately my memories of him have just been sitting in the back of my mind,
I haven't been thinking about him,
and I was happy not thinking about him,
forgetting that we ever met would've been so great.
But he was so important to me...

Well, today in Spanish class
David and Paige were fighting over what bands are best.
She mentioned Force the Fallen.
Out of all the conversations going on around me,
I just had to hear that.
I almost started cryng right there in the middle of class.
Shammit's brother is in Force the Fallen.
We used to talk about it sometimes.
And now I can't stop thinking about him again,
I miss being able to talk to him.
I told Jessica about it and she yelled at me
'cause I said that I wanted to try to be friends with him again.
I can't talk to her about him,
she just says the same old thing.
And I don't want to tell any of my other friends,
because he was sorta mean to all of them when we were friends.
I don't want to tell Andrew (my bf) 'cause I don't want him to worry
or think that I like Shammit as anything more than a friend.
I don't know what to do

I guess I don't really know what kind of advice I'm looking for.
I just needed to tell someone :/  

[Crimson Hagane]

*Saito questions his own insanity after hearing what one guy does to a friend*

I question my insanity after hearing what this guy did to you.

My advice: You should forget this guy. He was mean to your friends and you, and all that he really did was hurt your feelings, and that's unforgivable without a good apology. Just focus on your other friends and forget this waste of your time, okay?  

[Sotur]

i agree. after he did that, he doesn't really deserve the name "friend". what's more, i find kind of curious that u say hes the only one u can open up to...what about ur b/f? can't u open up to him? how long have u guys been together that u can't as easily open up to him?  

[IKurando]

tell me, did he do this when he found out you were going out with someone? or did he know from the getgo?

if he did this after he found out about you going out with someone, you really owe your boyfriend a lot. I seen that sort of thing before, it's not pretty. they nice to you only, cause they wanna impress you and get you to go out with them, then they abuse you like hell. not pretty, but I seen it, and I ready to kill guys who try to pull that kinda crap. pm me if this doesn't help, just in case I forget to check this again.  

[Sarallelogram]

Hmm, maybe I should try to just forget him.
It's hard, but I'll try...

Sotur

i agree. after he did that, he doesn't really deserve the name "friend". what's more, i find kind of curious that u say hes the only one u can open up to...what about ur b/f? can't u open up to him? how long have u guys been together that u can't as easily open up to him?

Well we've only been going out for about 2 months,
at the time me and Shammit were friends, he was all I had.

IKurando

tell me, did he do this when he found out you were going out with someone? or did he know from the getgo?

if he did this after he found out about you going out with someone, you really owe your boyfriend a lot. I seen that sort of thing before, it's not pretty. they nice to you only, cause they wanna impress you and get you to go out with them, then they abuse you like hell. not pretty, but I seen it, and I ready to kill guys who try to pull that kinda crap. pm me if this doesn't help, just in case I forget to check this again.

When he did it, I didn't have a boyfriend.

But even if I did,
I doubt that would be what he was trying to do.
I did like him as more than a friend for a while,
but he didn't see me that way.
And he was very serious about a girl named Kiera.
They weren't going out,
but we always talked about her and such.  

[Spikin]

Hmmmm....Sounds like your one friend was jealous that this guy was talking to you, but that's just me. Sucks that he just flipped like that.I find it strange that he didn't have a reason either...Something musta really been bothering him to just go off on you. But there must've been a hint somewhere? I think I might know though. It seems he was getting really close to you and something came up, outta his control and so he went off on you cuz he didn't know how to tell you.  

[InsaneOtaku2]

you met him onthe internet? Oh, just forget about him.  

[Sotur]

but why can't u open up to him? in my opinion, relationships rn't all about lovey-dovey stuff. meaning ur boyfriend can prove to be ur friend, as well. supposrt u when u need it, listen to u when u need it, lend a crying shoulder...that type of stuff. maybe for some ppl it's hard to open up to their partners, i dunno. but i do know my boyfriend is more than just my partner, he's my friend. so, what i mean to say is, maybe ur boyfriend could help u out or sumthin. unless he's the jelous type....do u know if he is? i mean, jelous types cna help, too, but i recognize it would be harder precisely bcs of jelousy. some can put it aside for a while, understanding there's no "danger" or whatever, but i recognize there r some that are jelous all the way. how is he in that department? and why do u feel u can't open up to him? have u had bad experiences in previous relationships where u opened up and it backfired?  

[Sarallelogram]

InsaneOtaku2

you met him onthe internet? Oh, just forget about him.

No, I met him at free skate in the town I'm from  

[Sarallelogram]

Sotur

but why can't u open up to him? in my opinion, relationships rn't all about lovey-dovey stuff. meaning ur boyfriend can prove to be ur friend, as well. supposrt u when u need it, listen to u when u need it, lend a crying shoulder...that type of stuff. maybe for some ppl it's hard to open up to their partners, i dunno. but i do know my boyfriend is more than just my partner, he's my friend. so, what i mean to say is, maybe ur boyfriend could help u out or sumthin. unless he's the jelous type....do u know if he is? i mean, jelous types cna help, too, but i recognize it would be harder precisely bcs of jelousy. some can put it aside for a while, understanding there's no "danger" or whatever, but i recognize there r some that are jelous all the way. how is he in that department? and why do u feel u can't open up to him? have u had bad experiences in previous relationships where u opened up and it backfired?

Well, I want to tell him,
I've been trying to actually.
But I don't want anyone else to hear
and it's hard to find time to be alone with him,
either our parents are around or our friends are.
He isn't really very much of a jealous type,
sometimes he is a little jealous, but not much.
He's my first boyfriend,
so I dunno about that last bit really :/
I've just never been one to open up to people
(other than Shammit for some reason.)
I don't like to show any weakness.
I never cry in front of people,
always act happy even if something's bothering me.
If I'm really sad, I write a few sad poems to get it out of my system.
I don't let anyone read them.  

[Sotur]

very much lik me in several things, not alike in others. i used to be a closed person, as well. but it worked for me, opening up in some things. of course, i'm not telling u to tell him ur life's story overnight. but there are some things that u'll find little by little u will feel comfortable sharing. start off with those. like....ummm....."stupid" info that u don't usually say, but there isn't that big a deal as to why u don't share it. little by little, u can start opening up, and ventually u'll find it easier. of course, u'll also learn who to be open with, and who not to be open with. it's not evryone u can open up to. that why u should start with things that won't cause harm if they say them. of course, with that, u'll learn not to trust that person with more important and sensible info. and it's good that he's not the jelous type. very good, i'd say. more to the topic, however, if it's so hard to get the right timing, maybe u could try writting a letter. perhaps then he could read it and learn what is going on, and then reply, be it by talkng, or another letter. once u r done, u can always dispose of them, and that way no one should find out. as for the crying, i know this isn't what u were asking abouot, but i'll add it anyway: once in a while, it's ok to pick the ppl u can cry to. not evryone, of course, there's plenty of ppl who haven't seen me cry. actually, perhaps only a hand-ful, maybe half of that, is the ppl that HAVE seen me cry. i take good care of ppl not seeing. my point is, i too hide it, smile even when in great pain, and do my best to not show weakness. so, really, even if some don't believe me, i really do know the 'technics' and some reasons that might be why u do all of that, bcs i myself carry them out. anyway, my point is, crying isn't a weakness. it can be seen as one, but it isn't. by slowly sharing things with ppl, u will gradually find those with whom u feel more comfortable sharing ur tears with them. actually, that's another step [a major one] at opening up. it of course requires time, and gradual change, but it's good to find someone with whom u feel ok crying. i dunno about others, but i find great comfort in having someone hold me and hug me [i feel protected] while crying. perhaps eventually u'll give that a try. writting to get it out of ur system, tho, is also very good, and i encourage u to go on with that technique, too.  

[Sarallelogram]

He'll always be my

^-^
Thanks.
You really are quite helpful.

Haha, it's ironic that you mentioned using a letter.
When we started going out it was actually shy little old me who made the first move.
I wrote him a note saying
"Since I suck at hiding when I have a crush,
I decided not to try anymore.
So, Andrew, here it goes.
I really like you alot,
and I know that may ruin whatever friendship we had
or it could strengthen it,
but I just had to tell you,
'cause it was killing me."
And then the next dy he gave it back
and under what I wrote he put "I really like you, too."
Allmy friends knew that what I felt for him was different than just a crush
because I would never tell someone I like them.

It's so much easier to say how you feel when you write it down.

S u p e r h e r o <3

 

[Sotur]

glad i've been helpful. i try my best to be so, bcs i know it can be hard asking for help, sometimes. so, i do what i can, in hopes it'll be useful. letters are rather common, when u get to it. it is most certainly easier to speak of things that way, i'd say bcs at the moment of writting, u rn't seeing the person's reaction, are not getting interrupted, and can be as open as possible bcs it's just u and the letter. so..i think that's why it's easier. hope evrything turns out well for u. 3nodding  

[Bonekeeper E]

that guy was an a*****e bar none, I mean that happens to people, being an a*****e is a virus from 2005 to this year...the fact is that if he's ignoring you, you should do the same, kill him off your memory. Someone that did that amount of damage shouldn't be in someone else's life like that <.<  

[Persistence_of_Memory]

That guy sounds lik an a** to me. The best thing you could do is forget him. I know you may not want to, but trust me, it's the best thing to do. (Is there an ehco in here?)
I was in the same situation a while ago with a guy at school. Eventually, he started being distant with me and then he abandoned me all together. I saw him once and smiled, hoping he'd smile back, but he didn't. He gave me a look that tald me he though I was lower than dirt. Lesson learned: he's a creep. I'm better off without him.
The same goes for you.