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 Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 10:02 am
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Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 9:14 pm
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High-functioning Flashback
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Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 9:23 pm
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PermeliaOpus K1T3 PermeliaOpus K1T3 i was verbally abused. my social skills are low. so i try to find someone who can help me deal w/it. like a huggle buddy How long did the verbal abuse continue? Huggle buddies are awesome! it's been going on since we moved to our new home. 5 yrs. 5 miserable years. but i decided to play w/ legos to help take my mind of it. go into my own world where everything can make me laugh. Well that's a good idea. So it's still going on? sad |
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Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 8:17 am
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i've never been sexually or verbally abused, but i have gone trhu quite an ordeal with my father and mother. my dad got this weird illness around 8-9 years ago, when i was 11. we had a bike shop which he used to run, but after he got the strange illness, he couldn't manage anymore. said illness consists of a miz of symptoms from: alzheimer, something neurological, something psychological, premature crazyness [ok, i suck at translation of some words. word in spanish is 'demencia'], and premature depression. doctors can't say what he has, exactly, bcs he doens't have enough symptoms of ANY of the 5 things present in order to state 'he has this' or 'he has that'. he simply has a mix of all of it. all of that causes him constant memory loss. bcs of that, my parents were constantly fighting, and at said age [11] i had to try and manage the bike shop with my 10 year old sis and my 12 year old brother while my other brothers and mom came back form their jobs or colleges. after several years of constant fighting, my mom couldnt' stand my dad anymore, so he sent him to live with his parents in a diferent city [about 1hr away from us]. she even got to the point of changing the locks of the house so that if he came, he wuoldnt' be able to come inside. because of that, i've always felt teared apart between mother and father, kind of abandoned on the father part [since he wasn't allowed to drive and constantly needed to be wathed over after he got 'sick'] and it has never gotten "better". they are now divorced, he doesn't work [not allowed to] and i see him around 1 or twice a month...at best. after these almost 9 years i still can't get over it...i still can't let go....sometimes i get really angry at my dad, but what can he do? in the end, i haven't gotten over it, constantly cry over the same situation, and haven't found a way to manage, haven't found a way to help myself get over it except avoid all related thought as much as possible....but in doing so i avoid seeing my dad, and then i hate myself for not going to see him....so u see....not abused, but have gone trhu quite a bit with this s**t...
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High-functioning Flashback
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Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 5:11 pm
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demonmoonflower PermeliaOpus Nammu I was sexualy abused... By my grandfather... I think on one knows it, it was a long time ago. I'm not over it, cause when I see him, it makes me sick. he is sick now... sometimes I wish he dies... but karma is a b***h, so I just keep the distance... My brother sexually abused me, but it only happened once. But I was in the first grade when it happened. I hate the thought of insest, it makes me sick and I'm so ashamed of it. What!? You are ashamed?! Don't be it was your brothers sick and twisted acts. It's not like you wanted it! You should have told someone the day it happened. Even if it wasn't your parents you should of told a teacher or the police. This is the biggest mistake people who are abused in anyway make, the never tell anyone. Wanna know something...And I'm sure you know this...If you don't tell anyone and try to pretend it's not happening...It wont go away...And sometimes if you are lucky, it gets worse. If you're wondering how to get over it...I'd suggest an mental therapist...'cause thats what it's going to take most likely. Thats what it took for me...and no I wont share thank you...
I tried finding a therapist and I keep hitting dead-ends. |
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Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 5:17 pm
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Sotur i've never been sexually or verbally abused, but i have gone trhu quite an ordeal with my father and mother. my dad got this weird illness around 8-9 years ago, when i was 11. we had a bike shop which he used to run, but after he got the strange illness, he couldn't manage anymore. said illness consists of a miz of symptoms from: alzheimer, something neurological, something psychological, premature crazyness [ ok, i suck at translation of some words. word in spanish is 'demencia'], and premature depression. doctors can't say what he has, exactly, bcs he doens't have enough symptoms of ANY of the 5 things present in order to state 'he has this' or 'he has that'. he simply has a mix of all of it. all of that causes him constant memory loss. bcs of that, my parents were constantly fighting, and at said age [11] i had to try and manage the bike shop with my 10 year old sis and my 12 year old brother while my other brothers and mom came back form their jobs or colleges. after several years of constant fighting, my mom couldnt' stand my dad anymore, so he sent him to live with his parents in a diferent city [about 1hr away from us]. she even got to the point of changing the locks of the house so that if he came, he wuoldnt' be able to come inside. because of that, i've always felt teared apart between mother and father, kind of abandoned on the father part [since he wasn't allowed to drive and constantly needed to be wathed over after he got 'sick'] and it has never gotten "better". they are now divorced, he doesn't work [not allowed to] and i see him around 1 or twice a month...at best. after these almost 9 years i still can't get over it...i still can't let go....sometimes i get really angry at my dad, but what can he do? in the end, i haven't gotten over it, constantly cry over the same situation, and haven't found a way to manage, haven't found a way to help myself get over it except avoid all related thought as much as possible....but in doing so i avoid seeing my dad, and then i hate myself for not going to see him....so u see....not abused, but have gone trhu quite a bit with this s**t...
I'm sorry that those things have happened in your family and I surely hope that you find closure somehow.
Have you checked up on multiple sites and researched the disease? Maybe it will help you to understand it, thus making it possible for you to talk to your dad better. Does he have a computer at home? Maybe you two can talk through e-mail or instant messaging. |
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High-functioning Flashback
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High-functioning Flashback
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Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 5:19 pm
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K1T3 PermeliaOpus K1T3 PermeliaOpus K1T3 i was verbally abused. my social skills are low. so i try to find someone who can help me deal w/it. like a huggle buddy How long did the verbal abuse continue? Huggle buddies are awesome! it's been going on since we moved to our new home. 5 yrs. 5 miserable years. but i decided to play w/ legos to help take my mind of it. go into my own world where everything can make me laugh. Well that's a good idea. So it's still going on? sad well ya. sometimes i get thigns hurled at me. but then i go into my pc or my 360 and play my games. and take out my anger and frustrations on teh enemies on the game. or roleplay with my legos. i have friendsbut i can only contact them by email and myspace. they rarely answer.
Are you not aloud to go out with friends?
Maybe you can tell someone in school (if you go) about the happenings at your house or go to a police station and talk about it.
Is there anyone else that you can stay with?
I'll be praying that things gets better for you. |
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2007 1:12 pm
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PermeliaOpus Sotur i've never been sexually or verbally abused, but i have gone trhu quite an ordeal with my father and mother. my dad got this weird illness around 8-9 years ago, when i was 11. we had a bike shop which he used to run, but after he got the strange illness, he couldn't manage anymore. said illness consists of a miz of symptoms from: alzheimer, something neurological, something psychological, premature crazyness [ ok, i suck at translation of some words. word in spanish is 'demencia'], and premature depression. doctors can't say what he has, exactly, bcs he doens't have enough symptoms of ANY of the 5 things present in order to state 'he has this' or 'he has that'. he simply has a mix of all of it. all of that causes him constant memory loss. bcs of that, my parents were constantly fighting, and at said age [11] i had to try and manage the bike shop with my 10 year old sis and my 12 year old brother while my other brothers and mom came back form their jobs or colleges. after several years of constant fighting, my mom couldnt' stand my dad anymore, so he sent him to live with his parents in a diferent city [about 1hr away from us]. she even got to the point of changing the locks of the house so that if he came, he wuoldnt' be able to come inside. because of that, i've always felt teared apart between mother and father, kind of abandoned on the father part [since he wasn't allowed to drive and constantly needed to be wathed over after he got 'sick'] and it has never gotten "better". they are now divorced, he doesn't work [not allowed to] and i see him around 1 or twice a month...at best. after these almost 9 years i still can't get over it...i still can't let go....sometimes i get really angry at my dad, but what can he do? in the end, i haven't gotten over it, constantly cry over the same situation, and haven't found a way to manage, haven't found a way to help myself get over it except avoid all related thought as much as possible....but in doing so i avoid seeing my dad, and then i hate myself for not going to see him....so u see....not abused, but have gone trhu quite a bit with this s**t... Well that doesn't seem like that was at all like a fun thing to deal with. I'm sorry that those things have happened in your family and I surely hope that you find closure somehow. Have you checked up on multiple sites and researched the disease? Maybe it will help you to understand it, thus making it possible for you to talk to your dad better. Does he have a computer at home? Maybe you two can talk through e-mail or instant messaging.
it doesn't have a name, so i can't research it. i can only research each disease form the mix, and that will simply be partially helpful since the docs don't say what he has. they don't know. the detect symptoms for different things, but never say a specific thing...he recently acquired a computer, but they don't have internet over there. when he calls i talk to him, and i do get happy....but i also get sad bcs i haven't gone to visit him. usually i avoid so bcs i'm scared of what he might ask, questions my mom tells me not to tell him, and then i feel bad bcs i'd b lying to my dad [note, always raised NOT TO LIE....sometimes i do, little white ones, but stuff like that....i could never]...and he still loves her, i notice. but it's clear she doesnt love him anymore, and that makes me feel bad bcs i think he feels rejected on her part, and abandoned on our part [since we don't visit very often]. that's right around the times i get mad at myself and sad bcs i'm not going to visit him [sometimes bcs of college work, others bcs i'm going out with my friends and bf]. any idea as to how i could work something out? totally open for suggestions at this point |
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2007 11:04 pm
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Bah, on a random day my mom started acting strange. Talking to herself, saying stuff that went against our morals, against God. Basically she was crazy. We've tried a million tactics to help her. Listening, talking, giving her gifts, trying to take her to a pshychologist...
But she keeps getting worse. She mistreats my little sister, she hates me (and I'm not just assuming it SHE DOES), and abandoned my father (she has her own room now, wtf).
The last big thing she did was on a day like any other. I was on the computer and she started saying evil stuff, so I took a bottle of alcohol and spilled it in her room on purpose. She went nuts. She started yelling that she was going to break my computer if I didn't clean it.
Of course I thought she was bluffing and started giggling my defiance... until she raised her big-a** metal pipe (yes, she has a metal pipe that she says she's going to kill us with... she also has knives, dozens of them) to smash the monitor. I immediately went to clean her room, but it was too late. She started pushing me around, smacking me randomly, saying she was going to kill my sister. Saying she was going to neuter my dad. That she was going to kill her parents, that she was going to chop my hands off... it was madness. So I called the police. They managed to calm her down, got her some help... but I don't think it will last long.
She's been nice this last month, but she's already started smashing stuff. This morning she broke the coffee making machine that my dad bought on March. >.< It was brand spanking new, and she just smashed the hell out of it like a little cracker. I really want to leave this house, but I can't just leave my sister and father behind. It's very traumatic, she just keeps psychologically abusing us, and she has thrown away all our eating utensils, and broken all the dishes. She also doesn't cook, my sister and I have to do it.
I've not been raped or anything huge, but this is also pretty big. Maybe it sounds stupid, but it's scary to live with someone like that.
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Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 7:46 am
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xXChibi ZoriXx Bah, on a random day my mom started acting strange. Talking to herself, saying stuff that went against our morals, against God. Basically she was crazy. We've tried a million tactics to help her. Listening, talking, giving her gifts, trying to take her to a pshychologist... But she keeps getting worse. She mistreats my little sister, she hates me (and I'm not just assuming it SHE DOES), and abandoned my father (she has her own room now, wtf). The last big thing she did was on a day like any other. I was on the computer and she started saying evil stuff, so I took a bottle of alcohol and spilled it in her room on purpose. She went nuts. She started yelling that she was going to break my computer if I didn't clean it. Of course I thought she was bluffing and started giggling my defiance... until she raised her big-a** metal pipe (yes, she has a metal pipe that she says she's going to kill us with... she also has knives, dozens of them) to smash the monitor. I immediately went to clean her room, but it was too late. She started pushing me around, smacking me randomly, saying she was going to kill my sister. Saying she was going to neuter my dad. That she was going to kill her parents, that she was going to chop my hands off... it was madness. So I called the police. They managed to calm her down, got her some help... but I don't think it will last long. She's been nice this last month, but she's already started smashing stuff. This morning she broke the coffee making machine that my dad bought on March. >.< It was brand spanking new, and she just smashed the hell out of it like a little cracker. I really want to leave this house, but I can't just leave my sister and father behind. It's very traumatic, she just keeps psychologically abusing us, and she has thrown away all our eating utensils, and broken all the dishes. She also doesn't cook, my sister and I have to do it. I've not been raped or anything huge, but this is also pretty big. Maybe it sounds stupid, but it's scary to live with someone like that.
it doesn't sound stupid at all. i see this as something rather serious. i understand it's be really hard [my family wasn't able to do it...we kinda refused and looked for an alternative, my dad living with his parents again [read above for better understanding]...but maybe ur mom should be hospitalized, or put into a home where they can care for her [that's what we decided NOT to do with my dad]. obviously her living with her parents doesn't seem like a wise choice, since she's threatening to kill them, but maybe ur family could try that. i understand it's something very big and very hard to do [after all, WE couldn't do it]....but maybe ur family could. it's just a suggestion, and maybe not the most helpful one...but somthing nonetheless....has she gone SOMEWHERE [doc, shrink, ANYTHING] that says she has this or that...maybe somthing suddenly happend in her brain and now her behavior's that one [it's what happened with my dad. one day he just startd forgetting things [memory loss] and when he got cheked, he'd had a small spill of blood, i think it was, in his brain that caused it and whatever else he's got]. so maybe u should force her to get checked [since u said u've tried b4]....other than that, it's understandable that u want to leave, and ur loyalty to ur sis and dad are admirable. i know it sounds cheesy and u r probably tired of hearing this, but never forget that after the rain comes the rainbow....i know i should apply that to my situation, and it IS true many times one questions that phrase bcs the "rainbow" is nowhere in sight, but after some time it should get better, no matter how long that time is [i know it can b LONG AS HELL...heck, 9 years and i'm still waiting for it to get better], but sometimes that's all one's got: hope. if not, just try and think of other things that make u feel better. while i'm not thinking about my s**t i can be REALLY happy, and i know the situation is still there, i know it hasn't been solved, and i know that ignoring it won't make it go away, but at least then, in those moments that i'm not thinking about it, i'm not simply sulking in misery. just drowning in self-pity and misery SUCKS!!!! so, like i said: yes, it'll still be there, no, it hasn't been solved, and no, ignoring it won't "magically"fix it...but at least then u can be happy, even if just for a moment. |
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Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 8:50 pm
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@ Sotur:
We've tried tons of things, but she refuses to get help. She's never gone to a shrink or anything, she says it's for "crazy people." Heck, I'm not crazy and sometimes I need to see a psychologist, you know? Everyone has their issues and problems and sometimes we need help dealing with those things.
I always look at the positive side of everything, so I don't think I could have a problem of going into some sort of depression or anything. I do have anger problems and a bad temper and sometimes I try to cope with my mom but then my sister blows up at her and I blow up at my sister for blowing up at my mom and it just turns into a huge issue, lol.
Thankfully, I don't sulk over the problem, I just need to let it out. I get a lot of stress from this because I also have to do everything in the house, like clean, cook, wash clothes, get the groceries... because she has neglected all of that. It feels good to say it and that there's people who understand. whee |
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Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 10:24 pm
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Sotur PermeliaOpus Sotur i've never been sexually or verbally abused, but i have gone trhu quite an ordeal with my father and mother. my dad got this weird illness around 8-9 years ago, when i was 11. we had a bike shop which he used to run, but after he got the strange illness, he couldn't manage anymore. said illness consists of a miz of symptoms from: alzheimer, something neurological, something psychological, premature crazyness [ ok, i suck at translation of some words. word in spanish is 'demencia'], and premature depression. doctors can't say what he has, exactly, bcs he doens't have enough symptoms of ANY of the 5 things present in order to state 'he has this' or 'he has that'. he simply has a mix of all of it. all of that causes him constant memory loss. bcs of that, my parents were constantly fighting, and at said age [11] i had to try and manage the bike shop with my 10 year old sis and my 12 year old brother while my other brothers and mom came back form their jobs or colleges. after several years of constant fighting, my mom couldnt' stand my dad anymore, so he sent him to live with his parents in a diferent city [about 1hr away from us]. she even got to the point of changing the locks of the house so that if he came, he wuoldnt' be able to come inside. because of that, i've always felt teared apart between mother and father, kind of abandoned on the father part [since he wasn't allowed to drive and constantly needed to be wathed over after he got 'sick'] and it has never gotten "better". they are now divorced, he doesn't work [not allowed to] and i see him around 1 or twice a month...at best. after these almost 9 years i still can't get over it...i still can't let go....sometimes i get really angry at my dad, but what can he do? in the end, i haven't gotten over it, constantly cry over the same situation, and haven't found a way to manage, haven't found a way to help myself get over it except avoid all related thought as much as possible....but in doing so i avoid seeing my dad, and then i hate myself for not going to see him....so u see....not abused, but have gone trhu quite a bit with this s**t... Well that doesn't seem like that was at all like a fun thing to deal with. I'm sorry that those things have happened in your family and I surely hope that you find closure somehow. Have you checked up on multiple sites and researched the disease? Maybe it will help you to understand it, thus making it possible for you to talk to your dad better. Does he have a computer at home? Maybe you two can talk through e-mail or instant messaging. it doesn't have a name, so i can't research it. i can only research each disease form the mix, and that will simply be partially helpful since the docs don't say what he has. they don't know. the detect symptoms for different things, but never say a specific thing...he recently acquired a computer, but they don't have internet over there. when he calls i talk to him, and i do get happy....but i also get sad bcs i haven't gone to visit him. usually i avoid so bcs i'm scared of what he might ask, questions my mom tells me not to tell him, and then i feel bad bcs i'd b lying to my dad [note, always raised NOT TO LIE....sometimes i do, little white ones, but stuff like that....i could never]...and he still loves her, i notice. but it's clear she doesnt love him anymore, and that makes me feel bad bcs i think he feels rejected on her part, and abandoned on our part [since we don't visit very often]. that's right around the times i get mad at myself and sad bcs i'm not going to visit him [sometimes bcs of college work, others bcs i'm going out with my friends and bf]. any idea as to how i could work something out? totally open for suggestions at this point
Maybe you can just set time aside to ask him how he feels.
It sounds like he just needs someone to talk to about his emotions. |
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High-functioning Flashback
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High-functioning Flashback
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Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 10:30 pm
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Sotur xXChibi ZoriXx Bah, on a random day my mom started acting strange. Talking to herself, saying stuff that went against our morals, against God. Basically she was crazy. We've tried a million tactics to help her. Listening, talking, giving her gifts, trying to take her to a pshychologist... But she keeps getting worse. She mistreats my little sister, she hates me (and I'm not just assuming it SHE DOES), and abandoned my father (she has her own room now, wtf). The last big thing she did was on a day like any other. I was on the computer and she started saying evil stuff, so I took a bottle of alcohol and spilled it in her room on purpose. She went nuts. She started yelling that she was going to break my computer if I didn't clean it. Of course I thought she was bluffing and started giggling my defiance... until she raised her big-a** metal pipe (yes, she has a metal pipe that she says she's going to kill us with... she also has knives, dozens of them) to smash the monitor. I immediately went to clean her room, but it was too late. She started pushing me around, smacking me randomly, saying she was going to kill my sister. Saying she was going to neuter my dad. That she was going to kill her parents, that she was going to chop my hands off... it was madness. So I called the police. They managed to calm her down, got her some help... but I don't think it will last long. She's been nice this last month, but she's already started smashing stuff. This morning she broke the coffee making machine that my dad bought on March. >.< It was brand spanking new, and she just smashed the hell out of it like a little cracker. I really want to leave this house, but I can't just leave my sister and father behind. It's very traumatic, she just keeps psychologically abusing us, and she has thrown away all our eating utensils, and broken all the dishes. She also doesn't cook, my sister and I have to do it. I've not been raped or anything huge, but this is also pretty big. Maybe it sounds stupid, but it's scary to live with someone like that. it doesn't sound stupid at all. i see this as something rather serious. i understand it's be really hard [my family wasn't able to do it...we kinda refused and looked for an alternative, my dad living with his parents again [read above for better understanding]...but maybe ur mom should be hospitalized, or put into a home where they can care for her [that's what we decided NOT to do with my dad]. obviously her living with her parents doesn't seem like a wise choice, since she's threatening to kill them, but maybe ur family could try that. i understand it's something very big and very hard to do [after all, WE couldn't do it]....but maybe ur family could. it's just a suggestion, and maybe not the most helpful one...but somthing nonetheless....has she gone SOMEWHERE [doc, shrink, ANYTHING] that says she has this or that...maybe somthing suddenly happend in her brain and now her behavior's that one [it's what happened with my dad. one day he just startd forgetting things [memory loss] and when he got cheked, he'd had a small spill of blood, i think it was, in his brain that caused it and whatever else he's got]. so maybe u should force her to get checked [since u said u've tried b4]....other than that, it's understandable that u want to leave, and ur loyalty to ur sis and dad are admirable. i know it sounds cheesy and u r probably tired of hearing this, but never forget that after the rain comes the rainbow....i know i should apply that to my situation, and it IS true many times one questions that phrase bcs the "rainbow" is nowhere in sight, but after some time it should get better, no matter how long that time is [i know it can b LONG AS HELL...heck, 9 years and i'm still waiting for it to get better], but sometimes that's all one's got: hope. if not, just try and think of other things that make u feel better. while i'm not thinking about my s**t i can be REALLY happy, and i know the situation is still there, i know it hasn't been solved, and i know that ignoring it won't make it go away, but at least then, in those moments that i'm not thinking about it, i'm not simply sulking in misery. just drowning in self-pity and misery SUCKS!!!! so, like i said: yes, it'll still be there, no, it hasn't been solved, and no, ignoring it won't "magically"fix it...but at least then u can be happy, even if just for a moment.
When I was going through my abuse I would tell myself everyday that it was going to be okay.
This lasted for 9 years.
Finally I broke down and saw someone, but they didn't help much either.
I left and shut down again, which isn't good, but since I found that one line support group (see first post link), things have gotten a lot easier. My main drive in the past was myself, and going through bad things, sometimes it's the only thing that one has. I agree with everything Sotur says. And it takes a strong person to reamain with your sister and father.
And Sotur, it takes a strong and wise person to say all that you did. |
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Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 10:42 pm
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My story:
Someone within the time of first grade I was sexually abused by my brother.
I remember that day I had walked in on my mom and dad having intercourse. I ran and told my brother and sister. My sister didn't believe me, but my brother called me into his room and asked if I wanted to see what they were doing.
Supposedly I told mom what had happened when I was little, I vaguely remember a white place where I must've talked to someone. They took Josh too and maybe Brandi, I don't know, I thought it was a dream, but obviously not.
I never talked about it after then. Seems as how I didn't know I already had. I kept quiet until my freshmen year of highschool when I had a break down. I couldn't figured out someone as stupid as two plus two in the middle of a math test. My brain was as black as the night as far as seeing answers to anything went. I had a panic attack and the world practically disappeared in my mind.
I always had dream like states since kindergarden, but I didn't know what panic attacks were. My mom took me to a therapist. The therapist ended up telling me I talked too much. I never went again.
When my parents found out about everything (the sexual abuse is just one part, I'll get into the others in a minute or later) they acted like tey were walking on glass, I suppose they were.
I felt like an idiot so I shut down again.
I didn't talk again until 5 years later.
Now.
I've been trying to find a therapist, but not much luck.
The online support group and this med. that I just started is all that I have.
The med. helps just as much as the support group does, as a whole it's 100% help and seperate they are 50/50.
but I still need to talk to someone the fear, anger, and everything else are still there. The brother thing only happened once. I was in the 1st grade though.
Another part: My brother and sister are half blooded part of me.
They were always mean to me, my sister more so (aside from the previous description) than my brother.
She was always telling me how horrible I was and beating me down with words and her hands. He locked me in the closet with my brother one time for what felt like 30mins, and it probably was. I developed claustrophobia some time and she knew it when she sat on a clean trashcan outside and laughed while I screamed and clawed at the grass underneath so that I could see the daylight. My sister is nuts, she never loved anyone until they gave her anything. She spent her days hurting me, and she thought it was hillarious. One time she threw me against a wall (slung me across the kitchen) becuase I would clean up something that she broke. This kept on for 15 years.
And the story goes on: My granma likes money. So she would always talk about the people who didn't have it in a bad manner. She adores my cousins, Quinn and Cara. She was always talking about how they did this and that, the moment I told her I wanted to be a psychologist she told me I was "reaching for the stars." This isn't the only malicious thing she said to me, she said many more, I just don't remember them because I blocked them out. This lasted for 2 years.
I was always shunned in school, people would call me fat, call me stuck up and a b***h, etc. I've lived here my whole life and never had any friends. The second I went to college though I had many. The whole time I grew p here everyone rejected me. I never had much of a social life here. This lasted for 15 years.
I've developed panic attacks and severe anxiety and dream-like states, claustrophobia, severe depression, and my confidence can be very low. I'm trying to improve though. Dream-like states since kindergarden, severe anxiety/panic attacks and severe depression since freshmen year of highschool. 5 years ago.
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High-functioning Flashback
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Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 7:00 am
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xXChibi ZoriXx @ Sotur:
We've tried tons of things, but she refuses to get help. She's never gone to a shrink or anything, she says it's for "crazy people." Heck, I'm not crazy and sometimes I need to see a psychologist, you know? Everyone has their issues and problems and sometimes we need help dealing with those things.
I always look at the positive side of everything, so I don't think I could have a problem of going into some sort of depression or anything. I do have anger problems and a bad temper and sometimes I try to cope with my mom but then my sister blows up at her and I blow up at my sister for blowing up at my mom and it just turns into a huge issue, lol.
Thankfully, I don't sulk over the problem, I just need to let it out. I get a lot of stress from this because I also have to do everything in the house, like clean, cook, wash clothes, get the groceries... because she has neglected all of that. It feels good to say it and that there's people who understand. whee
i know what u mean. likewise, i'm not crazy and i've been to apsychologist. i stopped going bcs i simply felt she wasn't helping much, tho maybe that was bcs she wasn't what i expected. many times i wonder if i should go back [the one i went to is here, in college, and it's a free service for the students **THANK GOD**].
i believe this post more than proves that fact: we all have problems, we just need to deal with them, and sometimes we NEED help, want it or not, sometimes help is needed; those times we just have to swallow our damned pride and ask for it, which is, i think, one of the most important purposes of this forum.
i go trhu a similar case of the whole blowing up issue, except i don't blow at them, i swallow it all down. it kinda hurts, since i always saw them getting mad at my dad bsc he did this or that or DIDN'T do this or that...i'm not the youngest[1 year younger sis], but i am younger than them, and i guess that's why i never said anything to them. it really sucked, bcs then i had to cope with feeling guilty for not saying anything, and then i got sad.
letting it out very important, i'd say leads to NOT sulking over the problem, which i dunno if i said b4 or not, but it's pointless and simply gets u depressed and then u don't to anything. so it's perfectly understandable and VERY ADVISABLE to let it out...in a healthy way, of course [referring to not letting it out by hurting urself or someone else....that just brings complications and yet ANOTHER problem...certainly NOT worth it]. and yes, it's awesome to know ppl understand, specially since they can maybe say things u hadn't thought of b4 3nodding |
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