how do i find friends when....

[CrimsonxXxSolace]

Then i'd say ditch, if you call those friends, then you have none to begin with...I'm sorry if this makes you feel worser, but that's just how I see it. Too many people these days look at who the person is to choosing whether they want to be friends with that certain person or not...you and anyone else who goes through this doesn't deserve any of this...You should have friends because they like you for you, not for how you look....I'm sorry....if i could do more...I'd do more for you than say this and probably make you really depress now...  

[K1T3]

i'm speechless.  

[Sotur]

i agree with lilipeper. yes, it probably makes u feel worse, but it's the truth. if there's no trust, there's no friendship. a REAL friendship CANNOT be based on someone else's judgment, and that's what that group is doing. "if mike doesn't talk to him, then we won't, either" THAT'S s**t! THAT'S NOT FRIENDSHIP! NOT EVEN IN THE ACQUIANTANCE LEVEL! [think i spelled that wrong xp ] anyway, that's what i thnk  

[K1T3]

today kidna sucked we had an earth day celebration kiis fm was supposed to be here. but some idiots lit off 4 smoke balls in teh restroom causing everyone to leave the school for half an hour. my whole schedule was pushed back. during the extended lunch i could've finished my band finals. but it was shortened. i wasn't hungry at all. i found my friend beth and she gave a hug ( she's my enw huggle buddy lol X3) if she didn't hug me i would've went ballistic at the next event that occured when i went to meet my friend at her freshman group. and i happened to run into one of the freshman emos from mike's. this is what happened.


" shouldn't you be on amber's (mix group) group?" he said to me w/ his back turned.
"i can come here if i want right?"
"why don't you just go abck where you came from..." he said to me as a whisper with his back still turned.
"huh?" i asked him since i didn't hear it quite well.
"....."
"what was that? dude i'm right here"
"nvm!" he finally responded.

i turned to look at my friend christine to see her reaction to all this. she gave me the id/k movement. then i just waved to her and walked away.

lil sob freshman thinks he can put me in my place? and the nerve of him telling me to go back. he was probably kicked out of mike's group too. he probably only knows me by the rumors he's heard. lol next tuesday when school gets back i'm gonna go hang out w/ my friends freshman group. let's see how he likes it. mike told me over msn i can talk to catherine now eventhough he still doesn't like me. i don't care i'm not going abck tot hat group. it's caused me so much pain. i still talk to only 2 people out of that group. vanessa and catherine. out of the friendships i had made b4 those 2 are out like 20. his group is getting bigger and it's now populating the entire area and some are spilling over to teh other groups i know nearby.

vanessa gave me good advice. never become fond of a group of anyone because it's highschool everyone is in it for themselves.  

[Kogru]

high schools a b***h. >_> most people don't like me cuz i say what evers on my mind. which is usualy something mean. i think i've called over half the population of teh girls skanky little whores... lol. but they are XD and i call teh guys freaking pervs. i'm gay so some of the females are like "OMG BE MY BFF!!" i kinda stick to a few people, and keep it at that. have a few people that i can chit chat to if i get bored. but people find me creepy because i randomly threaten them... i have anger issues... i can be heard whispering "i'm going to catch you on fire and push you donw an esculater..." or "i will rip your ******** arms off and beat you with them if you don't shut the ******** up and sit the hell down." ... so yea... lol.

i say be who you are, what you are. if people don't like it, ******** 'EM.  

[K1T3]

ya since i'm usually nice and change my style alot they think of me as someone who's gonna kill them.  

[K1T3]

now mike is telling me to stop talking to vanessa. he told me this.

" vanessa wanted me tot ell you to not talk to ehr anymore."

"weird she was jsut talking to me a few sconds ago b4 u msgd me. but if it's her desicion i can't do anything about it."

"f** you don't understand when your not wanted!!!"

this b*****d is trying to make me beleive his lies. i've already lost my trust in him w/ his 1st act of betrayal. i guess he thinks i'm stupid. i'm not even in that damn group anymore.  

[Sotur]

that's the problem with joining groups. anyway, i'm one that at the first act of betrayal, i already don't trust the person at all. i'm sorry but IF u still trust him, i think u r acting foolishly, specially when u have this much "evidence" about him being an idiot who wishes to waste ur time by trying to make u miserable...sorry if that was too harsh, but i really believe that. setting that aside, i think u should make it crystal clear to him that u don't wish to 'know' of him anymore, without sounding rude, considering this vannesa girl is his gf and u r her friend, so obviously that might hurt her. but u should really try to ignore him, letting vannessa know the situation, of course.  

[K1T3]

actually catherine is his gf. and i don't trust that abstard at all. i did and when i asked her she never replied.  

[White Siren Queen]

Im not too happy about growing up, but i know what im in for. I'll not be in one group, rather be a small part of every group. By that way, i will always have a group to turn to... and with each group i become a part of, its a new group were id at least find one friend. See, when you're apart of many things, you learn alot more...but when youre a loner, to me... becoming a loner only makes you superior. When you are a loner, you become more independent, more observant, and even more knowledgeable. As a loner, i have observed human relations and actions of all that sort. I used that to my advantage... Sometimes, its best to be alone just for a small while, get to know whats really going on around you. Thats what i did. Now i can see when i can trust someone or not, just by looking at a person. It's just an idea. Personaly, id rather be a loner. Sometimes you've got to be sincere, sometimes youve got to kiss a**. But thats just me. Although for me , doing that helped me learn to see whose really trustworthy or not, and also has allowed me to gain dirt on them. I guess its a bit manipulative, but now, if they wanna start rumors on me, ive got about 10 million TRUE dirty facts about them...
Thats just my way i guess... neutral  

[CrimsonxXxSolace]

You know...some one told me you can't really call anyone in highschool your best friend, because you won't know that until after highschool. It's when you really get to know those people you call friends...

Don't listen to Mike anymore...he's already proven to be a d8ck head. For you, i think it's best to stick with the people you think really know you and aren't judging you with a mirror. Just keep working at it, without listening/trusting what mike say.  

[K1T3]

i blocked his msn. if he send me email i'll delete it. if he wants tot alk to me. then he'll have to come up to my face in front of everyone and tell me. so that everyone can see who he really is.  

[Sotur]

i find this decision rather mature. as long as u don't childishly insult him, u seem very mature about the situation, and that's a very good thing. if he gets humilliated in front of evryone, he'll do it by himself, w/o ur pushing it. so my advice here is: just be urself out there; if he comes, let hm say whatever he wants, just remain calm [i don't mean that if he were to hit, stay hit....buty'know, keep it cool].  

[K1T3]

he might hit me. but no one really does that nymore. if he challenges me i'll just say i can't too much to do. hell it's time for finals. that's much better than proving to be the man. w/ ur fists. he's a jr. and the rest of his group si liek him. emo, bit rascist. ( i kinda figured when there weren't any other races in that group. only like 1 very dark girl. the other mexican who was there when i was got kicked out too). and also they've all fialed like 1 or 2 of their classes.  

[CrimsonxXxSolace]

That's it! Good job! ^_^. Keep it that way and you'll make your own true friends--even if school ends you'll make new better ones next year....WOw...I'm really happy for you! <----Sorry if i sound a little freaky...