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((Oh my god I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. The DnD hilarity last night was BRILLIANT. I don't know where to start! xd ))

"Anise!! It's daddy! If you can hear me, say something!" Van called.

((Okay, for convenience' sake, I'll nickname the group for you so you have an idea of who I'm talking about from here on: I'm a rogue, Scales is a Dragonborn ardent or something like that, Kitty is a paladin/ranger, Scarlette (as no good nicknames apply) is a wizard, and the Punster is our cleric (he follows the Golden Path or some such, since this will become important later) who loooooooooooooooooooooves bad puns. Bad puns that many of us (mostly just me, but sometimes everyone else too) want to stab him for.

Anyway, I guess I'll start with the fact that we got caught up in what was essentially a train robbery getting attacked by some human bandits and Draconians. The human bandits couldn't hit anything. They never hit once throughout the whole night to the point the DM said they were making worse rolls than Punster (who I will get to in a moment, he's the best part of the tale. XD ) We decided they must have been drunk.

At some point, Scales was pointing out who needed to be healed and Punster says "I know, I know! Calm your nuts, man!" To which Scales replies "My nuts are calm!!"

And then we have Punster. My god, Punster. xd After only two weeks, it had become a running gag that every time he used a certain move, he'd make a shitty roll. This time, it didn't matter what he did, he rolled squat. He rolled one critical, and then managed to roll below 10 seven times in a row. I cannot get across how bad he was rolling; really, this recap can't do justice. XD While we are laughing ourselves to tears, he rolls a 1. The DM, deciding to take pity on him, lets him use one of his cheat dice that are statistically weighted. And he manages to roll a 3. That was the crowning moment of the whole night. The DM goes on to say that something like he'd been through was statistically impossible, to which Punster replies "I broke math." It also seemed like every time he rolled his dice outside his turn, when there was nothing riding on it, he'd roll a high number. Later, after finding out there was a bomb on the light rail or whatever we were riding (we ended it there, I joked by wondering where the counter from '24' was) from a dying old lady we healed, Punster jokingly says he attempts to attack the old lady and makes a roll. And gets a 20. Everyone jokes how his Path is telling him to be evil.

Van thought he heard something, but wasn't sure as he carefully wound himself up and around a tree to try and see if he could spot them from above. Thankfully he could, as they were in one of the few clearings the forest held. "I found them, they're over by the crater!" he said as he came back down, quickly starting to slither off again before stopping suddenly and leaning against tree while holding his stomach. "Right...No overexerting self with baby...You go on ahead, I just need a quick breather and I'll catch up....Anise takes priority anyway."

((There was also mention at some point of "Death to the thingy!" but that really pales in comparison to Punster spectacularly crappy luck. XDD ))

"Oh thank gods!" Van said in relief when he saw Anise safe with Mala and the kidnapper nowhere to be found.

((So Atius has just like, passed out at the bottom of the crater? XD ))

"Agreed." Van said. "Just don't get yourself caught in any traps you decide to set." he teased.