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 Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 1:59 pm
i'm so eager to prove that, though i have Asperger's Syndrome of Autism, that i am capable of living on my own
by now i should be in a dorm at TSTC in waco texas,
but my mother has come up with, well excuse after excuse to keep me bottled up and under the feathers of her tightly-closed wing with no hopes of anything
but, people have told me "you're better off with your mom anywyas, and plus she eneds you there"
or
"if you left, how do you think you mom would 'survive'?"
it bugs me up the wall of heaven
my mom is going through Empty-nest syndrome, i've seen the signs, thoguh i'm not psychiatrist, i've read documents,
mom is so 'concerned' about both of my sisters, of whom both moved out at age 18,
wich the msot recent was 6yrs ago,
i'm now 19, and she refuses to give me my human right of pursuit of happiness, and my american right of free speech
the only true place i feel at home, is inside a manga or anime or here on Gaia,
and every time i'm to go somewhere with a friend of mine, mom makes me tell her where i'm going, who with, and for how long
does anyone else here think thats just "annoying?"
i mean i love my mom, but i'm not gonna be her "footstool of happines" forever
((oh btw - my aunt currently lives with us, mom is divorce and has no desire to date anyone or re-marry my father, and my aunt is working on moving out, so withing a few months, it'll probabaly be jsut me and mom, i love her, but if she wants me to stay, she should make the 'acomodations' better [we live in a house that's gas-heat and window air unit climate and is roting away with dial-up))
what i'm seeking advice on, is how to cope
for one - dotn mention ptuting a PC in my room, i've tried asking for that, it failed (yes, i have to ASK to do things inside my mom's/landlord's house)
so any advice on how to cope?
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Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 2:10 pm
to sortof relate to what you said, the only place i actually feel at home, is in one of my many many books. then i started writing one and i felt wonderful the entire time i was with it. maybe you could write a manga story?
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Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 2:17 pm
that sounds like fun
but i cant draw so my part would be storyline
but i'd have to go with sci-fi or Mixed Martial Arts genre
though, if i could get an artist to help me with concepts, i could pull it fof easily
however i dotn know anyone with that much spare time
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Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 2:22 pm
you are such a pessimist. scream i cant draw either, but i would just draw stick people. it would still make me feel better. stare whatever. i give up then. [[kidding!]] oh, my friend wants to know, have you heard of fruit baskets, translucent, and something else, i cant remember the names... sweatdrop she says that their great series...
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Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 2:33 pm
it's not that i'm pessimistic or anything of that sort,
it's just i look at both sides of the debate and instead of going with the crowd, i make my own path
you say "hey adam, pirate or ninja?"
i say "me? samurai - kill 'em both"
so i'm not 'pessimistic' as normal definitoons go
my second psot on this thread really covers both optimisim and pessimism
what it's trying to say is - yeah, i'd write a manga, but at the moment i'm kinda stuck on it due to lack of aviable talent, but then it turns and say i know how to help myself out, then neutrals saying that i'm basically unsure of how to go about it
anyways
as far as the aboves gos, i've heard of those, read two or three pages of the manga, and never picked it up again, so to me they are
'moderate, but not my cup of tea'
i like Lovestory mecha and sci-fi style anime/manga and sorta like some team-up stuff such as Sailor moon and Ronin Warriors, and definitly Flame of Recca*
* - whichis my no1 fave, E7 places 2nd
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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 3:08 pm
when I was 18 I stopped having a curfew. but when I went out, my mother still wanted to know where I was going, who I was going with, and a time to expect me home. and she asked that if my plans changed and I'd be home later, to call and let her know so she wouldnt worry. I found that fair. I dont think that aspect of your situation is something you should complain about. she's your mother, and loves you. if you dont have a curfew (which your post led me to believe you didnt) then it's a perfectly reasonable request.
however, you mother sound like she's afraid of being alone. sure your aunts there, but wont be in the near future. she doesnt trust relationships with men, and you are her last hope. however, I think if she wants you to stay.. and you seem willing to do so, she needs to acknowledge youre pretty much an adult now and make some concessions.
how's it going with the job hunting? I ask because once you prove yourself as a responsible adult capable of taking care of yourself, you can use that as leverage in discussing this with her. you'll be standing on higher ground. so the argument could go something like "mom, I love you, and if you want me to stay I'll stay, but certain conditions must change. I'm all grown up now and I can take care of myself, so if you wont compromise with me I'm going to have to find a place to live elsewhere." she's holding on way too tightly, and when we do that we tend to destroy whatever it is that we so much want to keep.
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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 11:09 pm
I am 26 now, still living at home, but i fill difrent then you. i can still remmber how it was when i went outside and my mom ask "where you been?" yes it is so enoying.
When i went to the army my mom and dad bought me mobile phone, and from this point i went outside with the phone and told them i should not tell them where i am going, cuz they can talk to me when ever they want.
I live in Israel and every now and then poeple get hurt just by beeing in a crowded place.
You know what i begun to really apriceite my mom and dad when i started to live with my boyfriend, cuz he was worse then they where.
No i live with my mom and dad agin and i take theyre car a lot, so i tell them when i take it and for how long and even where.
About your mom, mybe you should try and help her. I started to feel grown up when i discover i can help my mom. You can try post her photo in a dating service via the internet.
About a computer, I bought myself my own computer, after i saved money from working. I bought a small computer that i can move where ever i want.
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Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 3:59 am
shani26 I am 26 now, still living at home, but i fill difrent then you. i can still remmber how it was when i went outside and my mom ask "where you been?" yes it is so enoying. When i went to the army my mom and dad bought me mobile phone, and from this point i went outside with the phone and told them i should not tell them where i am going, cuz they can talk to me when ever they want.I live in Israel and every now and then poeple get hurt just by beeing in a crowded place. You know what i begun to really apriceite my mom and dad when i started to live with my boyfriend, cuz he was worse then they where. No i live with my mom and dad agin and i take theyre car a lot, so i tell them when i take it and for how long and even where. About your mom, mybe you should try and help her. I started to feel grown up when i discover i can help my mom. You can try post her photo in a dating service via the internet. About a computer, I bought myself my own computer, after i saved money from working. I bought a small computer that i can move where ever i want. that's one thing I wouldnt do. she'd probably get pissed once she found out her picture was put on the web and a profile made somewhere on her behalf. you would essentially be pretending to be her, putting her info down in a profile and she probably wouldnt appreciate it. if she *really* doesnt want a bf right now, then it would be wrong to push her. when she's ready, she'll be ready to do something like that either herself, or she'll be ready for you to help her with her full knowledge of it.
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Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 6:29 am
Calypsophia she's holding on way too tightly, and when we do that we tend to destroy whatever it is that we so much want to keep. i can only say this in rpely to the quoted A - BLOOMING - MEN Shani form what i 'understood' of your post, youre saying get her a bf well, that wont work, every guy she's tried to get with has wound up hurting her the only one that was any good was an Anime fan (real + with me) but he just one day packed up and left, found out 3yrs later his ex-wife had asked him back due to lack of income ..it's not like my mom needs a guy, what she needs is a break, but she sets herself up to say "i cant let you, not on my behalf" and i dont wanna get into when i know i'm right ther'eve been a couple of convos, i remeber word for word action-4action, gesture-4-gesture and mom denies each one, and amke the events up, usualy getting on my case, it's a rarely seen side-effect of E-N, but it comes more from depression, the combo fo both "lower emotions" can cause a permenant loss of an exact-course of any fairly recent memory but i dont know how to help her other than hands-on breaking it in by jsut moving out, but she ahs ALL my money, and my "transportation" so she thus makes me "relaint" on her
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Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 3:08 pm
does she have legal custody over your money? if so, until you are what age? personally, I say (and I've said it before) you should consult a lawyer or legal aide. call human services, call legal services. how about that job hunting you mentioned in another thread? as for transportation, are there buses that run around town in your area? is it pedestrian friendly?
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Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 4:06 pm
Your mom reminds me of my mom. My mom like to say stuff to me like: "you didn't told me that". It doesn't mean i didn't told her, it just mean she didn't like what i said so she decided to forget it.
Just today my dad got angery at her for not remmbering what i said. I was willing to say everything i told her again but my father didn't want to hear the hole story again, so he said "why do you bouther telling this again, she is not going to remmber it anyway". blaugh
It help to know the problem isn't you, and ecepeting the other person even tho she isn't perfect.
You should tell your mom you want to develop and that doesn't mean you are going to move out. As you said if she will acat more normal there wouldn't be any reason to go away. You should tell her you love her, but she needs to trust you. Tell her you are like a cat, you like to be with her, talk to her eat meals with her and stuff like that, but you need your freedom and you don't like to be in a prison.
If you will be more happy you are more likely to chear her up. biggrin
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