|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 3:08 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 3:38 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 11:31 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 10:15 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 3:16 am
 |
|
|
 |
This guy is a control freak, and you should tell your school that you dated and report what happened. He tried to rape you, that is assault. it might not seem that serious to you, but it really is, he needs to be reported to the police or at least your school. I know he didn't actually do it to you, but imagine if you just let it go, and he gets another girlfriend by being 'charming' (as most control freaks learn to be) and actually does something to her. These sort of boys end up growing up to be abusive partners/husbands/fathers... unless something is done about it now to stop him. I say this because I have been in an abusive marriage, which I finally escaped. I came from a father who did the same thing to my family, so it is incredibly hard to escape nce it has gotten hold of you, so I applaud you for leaving! Please keep your strength when dealing with him, if you show him you cannot be controlled he will eventually lose energy, but not before becoming dangerous.
Are you still stuck in the same classes? Try explainig to your school what the situation is, and maybe you can have your timetable shifted around? It may mean you have to change a few subjects, but seriously, thinking about it, I wouldn't put it past a control freak ex to actually od this on purpose, my ex husband used to follow me to the same places to be there at the same time as me. I never had my life to myself it was a way of keeping tabs on me to make sure I wasn't doing anything 'unacceptable'
"Next, he started dating my best friend. Appearently she had a crush on him, but didn't tell me." Jeeze, then she really isnt much of a friend if she did this. but he used your best friend to get to you, which shows both that he doesnt care who he hurts, and that he will go to extremes to get to you, which is scary (tell your parents exactly what he is doing, im not kidding, you need protection, no matter how alarmist you may think i am being...)
Interms of getting your friend to believe you, show her the notes and tell her that he is doing all these things to you, and let her know for certain that you are scared for her and you do not want him back. She probably wont believe you, but at least you know you tried. He will likely hurt her.
Basically everything you are saying points to a control freak, and if he is really obsessed he will go to any length to control you. Control freaks see who they control as belongings, and they will do anything to get back the belongings that leave them, they get more and more dangerous
"After a while, even through all the crap, I realized I still like him. It sucked!" Dont go there, there are men out there who can and will treat you better! You are just mourning the loss of a friendship and a relationship. In time you will get over it, and I suggest you get out there and find one of these 'real' men to treat you how you deserve. I also think your ex friend may be being manipulated by him too. He will likely be doing it in a nice way for now, saying stuff like 'honey, if you loved me you'd do it' and using passive pressure, but if she ever resists, he will become to her like he was to you. He'd be playing on her emotions, using the fact that she thinks you are jealous of her to manipulate her into hating you. It may seem silly that he still wants to control you even afterhe has a new girl to control, but let me tell you, that these men do not like to lose and they do not give up easily.
I don't suggest you 'get someone else' to make him jealous, but if you find some one and move on, this is your best defense against him. Just move on, have fun and most of all forget he exists, he will try everything to make you see him and pay attention (possibly taking extremes) and that is why he is having fun with your friend... he makes her feel great (for now) and it makes him feel good that he has taen your best friend away from you (he enjoys hurting you) you can confront your friend and tell her that you know he is just using her to manipulate you... and let her know that if he was so 'happy' with her, why does it seem that he is not over you? Why does he seem to dwell on his relationship with you? And why isnt she enough to make him happy again? Why does he even need to bother thinking about you? Maybe she wont listen but really I think she is a victim here, too. These things sound incredibly hurtful, but if she is prepared to choose a boy who hurt you over you, then she was never a great friend to begin with. You are lucky to be shot ofthe both of them, and I wouldnt waste your breath on either of them.
You sound like a wonderful, strong girl who demands much more respect than this silly boy can give you, so I suggest if you are wanting a boyfriend, find one who treats you with that respect!
As to how to get him off your mind, you seem like you want things to go back to how they were 'before' you started dating him... and you are halfway there... you may think you want him back, but that is really only a desire to have some peace, maybe you think that things would be nicer if you take him back, that he will stop hurting you... i can guarantee you that if you go back, he will see you as nothing more than a belonging, and he will have less respect for you than he ever did, because he will see you as fickle and a pushover.
Be strong, find a nice boy, get a lovely little crush on him and maybe even ask him out... and in future, if any boy makes ou feel anything like he is now, if they ever try to make you do anything you dont want... run a mile, because everyone deserves better than that, including you!
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 12:49 pm
|
|
|
|
|
Okay, here's what I say, and this might not be what you wanna do, but I suggest it: figure out why he became a control freak. If you've ever met his parents, then talk to them. And just like the other people said, don't get a bf. You're not ready yet; you have to wait until this whole thing is over and done with. Another thing, talk to a trusted adult about this-one of your parents, a councilor, anybody. You need to get this over with. Otherwise, you are going to regret it. And I completely agree with mitsuneko, report the assault. A lot of women just let that sort of thing pass and the guy does it to another woman. Your ex-friend did do unforgivable things, but if he does the same thing he almost did to you to her, could you live with that? I've never gone through a relationship before, so I wouldn't know how you feel. But you have to stop him before he tries to do it again.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 2:41 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 2:44 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 9:51 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 1:24 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
