HELP! I think I am bi-polar!!! I have no where else to turn!

[Lavender-the-9-tailed-fox]

Or...could it be something else???
Here, let me explain. It's been at least a month of these really horrible mood problems. Like, I'll be pissed as hell, yelling, shouting, wanting to hit things (like people, the walls, mirrors, my computer screen, stuff like that), swearing at my friends, calling them bad names when they're trying to help, and just acting totally not like myself...then like, my mood will change later on in the day for no reason, to something else...like I could suddenly get into this really happy, hyper, insane mood where I can't calm down or sit still, and I won't stop talking and laughing and giggling, and completely acting hyper and insane....or sometimes I can be like really really depressed for no reason, and like, think of suicide A LOT.

I don't know what's going on and I can't get myself out of these moods....and these moods are really strong and are having a big affect on my social life because a lot of my friends are freaking out about it and are scared to be near me in case I am in a rage.

A friend of mine whom I haven't seen in a while, was talking to me the other day I told her about it and she said "It's the coming of age for us. It's probably all the hormones..." but I'm not sure if that's what this is...because I KNOW when I am moody from hormones....but it is still possible that it's just hormones. I am really scared that something is bad going to happen so please help me. Should I see a doctor? (I can't let my parents know...they haven't spent much time with me because of work so they don't notice the changes, but they would like think I was insane if I told them, and like...really make me see a lot of doctors and stuff because I already told them I am transsexual and they don't believe me so PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!)


I can't tell my parents. Neither of them will believe me, or just make me go though hell and make me see therapists a HELL of A LOT. Which I can't deal with, because there are times I don't WANT to talk. Actually, I find myself not liking to open up about this, but I need help...I really really do. I've finally realized it...all this time it took me to realize something is wrong. Oh, and I am 14 years old, turning 15 in May. I am mature, and pretty much done all the hormone changes and growth and stuff since I had a growth spurt at like....13 XD

Oh and my school has a councilor, so I've gotten to talk to her once, because my teacher told me to after reading my poem about being stuck in 'the closet' (meaning before I came out and said I was a transsexual) Should I try to talk to her about this???

OH and I *REFUSE* to take medication! I haven't taken any form of medication (whether it be for being sick, or a headache) for like...6 years and I don't plan to start. I can't swallow pills very well in the first place so yeah. Well, yesterday I wanted meds. Like badly. Meds and cookies was on my brain that entire day but I'm over it now.

Yeah....this is long...congrats if you read it all ^^; yeah, this is probably boring...sorry for wasting your time...um there's also a part of me that says nothing is wrong and is screaming at me and saying this is stupid D:  

[Love Volim]

I think its pure homones... I'm 17 and I still have random mood swings because of hormones. Mine is more momment to momment to momment changes tho. XP
I wouldnt worry about it too much, we all go through it. smile Hormones can really mess people up. You might not think it is, but I didnt either at the time when mine first started up.
Its awsome you 'came out of the closet' about your sexuallity! biggrin mrgreen mrgreen I could never tell my parents about somthing like that.  

[Lavender-the-9-tailed-fox]

Oh okay, well it stopped now. Thankfully ^_^
I thank you for your help X3

Yeah, it took me a lot of guts to do it, but I managed to blurt it out last minute before going to bed on Christmas Eve. XD
My mom doesn't talk about it anymore, she doesn't really see me differently but that's cause she doesn't think it's true.. so yeah. w/e lol. XD (Oh btw do you know what a transsexual is??)  

[flavored pencils]

hummm, interesting..
i think that its just your hormones, everybody is different, and some people never stop growing, weather its their bodies or their brains, so you might be one of those people who are still growing.
i think that you should also talk to your conceller, but if you really don't want to talk to them because of embarrasement or something than i suggest you talking to some internet friends about your problems, because often times, internet friends can help you alot, and they don't judge you because you don't technically know them. so try that. =D
hope i helped  

[Lavender-the-9-tailed-fox]

Thank you very much. I went though a huge suicidal mood swing, that got too outta control and now I am slowly trying to get help...(before I wouldn't accept it...) So yeah...things should be getting better....  

[Riku - Edge of Insanity]

I wouldn't worry too much over it. I'm 15, and I've been having massive mood swings since I was 13. They're not as common now, but I still get them. So long as you keep talking to friends about it (Doesn't matter if they're IRL or internet ones), you should be able to stop yourself from doing anything you regret, and they shouldn't last too long. I think that everyone gets them, just some people get it more extreme than others

Also, congrats on 'coming out of the closet' to your parents. I've been trying to work up the courage for almost a year now sweatdrop  

[Lavender-the-9-tailed-fox]

Ah, thank you soo much!! ^_^ Well, I can say I've already done things I regret, nothing to permantly stay though, thank God for that XD

Thank you soo much for that too!!!!!!! Really?
I'm sure you can do it...but, you gotta see how accepting they are first. My parents are accepting of everyone and everything ^^;
They are great~! Just don't believe me..=_=; might be because my cousin is the same, she just discovered it wayyy earlier on, and she's younger than me. (Transsexual=Basically a person with the mind of the opposite gender. I believe I am male, and completely and utterly gay~ Tee-hee. I am as straight as a rainbow!!! )  

[roni_ruin]

hmmm i'm not gonna patronise you or play it down. I know a lot of people are telling you its hormones etc. But how long have you been having these moods swings?

I know you don't want to go see a doctor and you don't want meds, but i'm trying to be a behavioural psychologists because i went through similair problems a few years ago (i'm 20) and i didn't think it was hormones either. The shouting and swearing and then really insanely happy for no reason doesn't sound like hormones.

I don't want to worry you, but i'd go see a behavioural psychologist, even just once to see what you think. I promise you, they won't try to prescribe you drugs because they don't study medicine. In fact, a behavioural psychologist will teach you coping mechanisms to deal with the moods and suicidal thoughts. Of course, the creed of behavioural psychology is that they help the individual to help themselves, which is essential really, there's far too many people dependant on drugs. Honestly i think its been brought on by the stress of telling your parents that you're transsexual, and that they don't want to talk about it, it might be eating at you subconciously, because even though you say they're accepting it sounds like they're refusing to deal with the real issue.

I don't want to stick anything more on your plate, but i really think it would do you a lot of good, even if you just go a few times to see what you think. Plus a bit of independance will make you feel better, and it means your friends won't have to deal with so much. At least think about it heart  

[Lavender-the-9-tailed-fox]

roni_ruin:
Ah thank you so much. I think I'll try that, it's worth a shot ^_^
Hm, how long?...well I know it had lasted for over a month, then it stopped for a few weeks then came back real hard...it's calm again. Worries me a little, but I'll figure out what the problem is. ^^
Yeah, they aren't helping me with the whole transsexual thing....They're accepting, it's just they don't have time to try and find a psychologist or anything. hm, I'll really see if I can speak to a behavioral psychologist, it might help...at least it might help to clear things up for me ^_^  

[Farrenlock]

The mood swings your having do sound like bi-polar issues. I know bi-polar because I have it! Even though you might not wish to, see a doctor. Go to the one Roni advised, seeing as it will suit you more than the others. Also, even if it might be hard or painful, YOU MUST tell your family! I'm not trying to wig you out or anything, but they need to know what's going on in your life.

If you have suicidal thoughts and it's too late to get help, your family will be devastated. You can't fix death, but you can fix relationships. If you don't know how to tell your parents, it might be easier to write them a letter.  

[kamichakarin245]

I think it may just be your hormones but if you belive its more serious and you don't feel like you can talk to your parents about it then talk to an adult that you trust and you know will understand you and explian to he/she how you feel and what is happening to you. If they feel that its nothing to worry about then just try your best to control your emotions. if not and he/she belives its a more serious matter then have them (*along with yourself) talk to your parents about getting you help.

Another thing tht might be helpful is that if you can figure out what triggers your outburst then you can remove yourself from the situation and control your actions a little bit better than you have. If you know what's causeing it than you can make an attempt at fixing it.

Hope this helps smile  

[Fanmalita]

Whoa, so glad you posted this topic,
I'm 14 too, will be 15 in July and going through the same thing.
But it's only just happening recently, it freaked me out first time, I suddenly felt like I wanted to throw things and I'd just feel like randomly slamming things down (nearly broke a mug.. sweatdrop ) So yeah, this has helped me too.

I guess you could see a doctor if you wanted too, you could explain you don't want to be put on meds, but just talking to someone experienced in these things can really help, and you'd probably not be so scared because then you'd know what's really going on.  

[babipari]

heart lols i think most people have bi-polar man so relax !! i have it too !! i dont believe in taking pills and have worked hard to keep myself positive !! all i know is : DONT LET THEM FILL U UP WITH PILLS MAN !!!!!!!! dont let it rule ur life !! rule it !!!!!! heart