x's and Children

[VodkaLeona]

Hey, I have a few things I need some advise on. I've got some current issues with an X and our daughter. He was a bad husband with constant cheating, emotional Drama and Lazyness, driving me up the wall our entire relationship. I actually broke off the marriage plans so we didn't actually tie the knot in court. My Family hates him now and I have pleanty of health Issues caused and feeding off the stress he has caused in my life. When my daughter was born He couldn't take her for me to help out so I could get rest, He couldn't change poopy diapers, He couldn't wash dishes or cook. He lost his job he only had for 6 months and couldn't even buy diapers or anything my daughter needed. When he got money it went for video games or eating out. I payed our phone bill until I realized he was using it to cheat on me. I am the custodial parent but I don't fully have total custody so he has some rights, right now. This is the summary.
My questions are :
He wants to have Visitation now and joint custody later, Is it a good Idea for him to even be involved in his daughter life now? He says now that she is older He can be a better father. (yeah cuz she doesn't need him for anything because I do everything)
Is it cruel of me to want to go to court for Full custody of my Daughter?  

[VodkaLeona]

I also would like to know if there is anyone on here that knows a little bit about Legal issues between non married Parents so I can get a heads up on a few things.  

[VodkaLeona]

I'm beginning to think that I should totally get him out of both mine and my daughters life for good. I'm currently talking to the girlfriend he has now and we are becoming Friends and she is telling me a lot of disturbing stuff about him including that she was also one of the girls he was cheating on me with and didn't know. Also, he is trying to get her pregnant and pulling the same stunts on her and she is just now finding all this out from me.  

[XxMiss-BonesxX]

Off subject: I like your avi. :3  

[VodkaLeona]

XxMiss-BonesxX

Off subject: I like your avi. :3

Thank you.  

[SchizoSpazz]

i'd say the wisest thing in this situation is that yes, he can have visitation rights, but not any custody. why should he? he didn't do anything for her when she was younger, but you also can't completely deny him visitation (it is his child after all, and your little girl may want to see her dad. if she says 'no. i don't want to see him' on her own free will (so no 'your dad is a bad person because of this, this and this' coaching from you), then that's nobody's fault).
and is the girlfriend giving any indication that he isn't being a good dad when he has visitation (is she doing stuff with her while he just plays video games or talks on the phone or internet to other women? it doesn't sound like he changed much. or is he doing stuff with her). that there could be a critical factor if he gets any custody later that could be used against him.
i'm speaking some of this as a child of divorce. my dad did a lot of the same stuff your guy did, but he was a dad when he was with us. and he was paying child support. but my mom was so mad at him, she tried to turn all of us against him ('your dad is a bad man because he does this, this, and this, and you're crazy if you want to be involved in his life'), and she successfully turned one of us against him (one out of four i guess isn't bad. and it wasn't me. there's some of the stuff that came out later that i thought was unfair on my dad, like a lot of verbal abuse, saying he was a bad father or he didn't love his children. no wonder he revolted.)there's this stuff i'm saying more or less for the welfare of your daughter, because she's the one the both of you want to grow up and be a happy person, not someone with daddy issues
just sayin  

[The White Lily]

Im just a kid, so I cant say I have any experience, but I would say go for full custody, if he can prove he can care for her, give him visitation rights. Something simlar to this happened to my friend, and she wishes her dad had never even tried to come back, because he never changed. I guess there is a chance he might be serious about changing but, I would proceed with caution. whee Goodluck with this, tell your daughter I said hi?