Making my peace

[Saikii]

I know my opinion on this will change at some point.

Right now, I'm... happy? with being single? I want to love someone. I want the mutual support and love and understanding at some point, but...

I'm not desperate. I like and stand by having standards. I have a right to it. If I end up alone, that'd be sad, but I'd rather be alone and a little sad than married to an entitled jerk who thinks women shouldn't have standards and should cave to the plans someone has or wants for them and be broke and absolutely miserable. People who think women shouldn't have standards probably don't deserve to be in a relationship? That's a bit crass perhaps, but a customer trying to hit on me suggested it and first of all, not my type to begin with, second of all all the customers who've deigned to hit on me are only after one thing and I can guarantee that one thing isn't actually me. It's my paycheck.

No. **clap** Thank. **clap** You! I don't want it. I won't accept someone who is only after my paycheck and only wants to spend my money.

I want someone who will cherish me for me, someone who likes a lot (or at least some of the things) I like, someone who challenges me to be better, to whom I can do the same.

No one I've met has quite clicked like my first boyfriend, but I'm thinking that ship has sailed.

I want someone I can get on the same wavelength without it feeling like or needing to be forced and I just haven't found it yet. And maybe someday I will, maybe I won't, but I want it to feel or be right when it does.

It's not wrong to have standards. If I don't have someone to love, I can just love myself and cherish the people around me who do actually enrich my life.

I do feel lonely in some regard. I've been mostly avoiding Facebook just so I don't compare my life to those of old friends and make myself sad.

I do want kids. I would love a husband at some point, but only when it's right.

It's gotta be right. It's gotta feel right... To that end, I am slowly making my peace with being single.

At some point I wanna be either adopt a child or foster parent.

Oh and I have a mysterious older half sister I've never met in real life and very much want to meet and reconcile with (even if you wouldn't really consider there to be something to reconcile?) sweatdrop