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watermelon_slice

PostPosted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 10:04 pm
Well I'm sure everyone is tired of listening to love problems, but advice would be oh so lovely right now. Ok, for my dilema... I have been with my current boyfriend for a year and seven months. He is amazing, but he is three almost four years older than me. He graduated a year ago, and is now ready to move on with his life. He is moving four hours away. He plans on going to college in the Spring. I'm proud of him and excited that he is moving on with his life, but with me having slight trust problems and him being four hours away I don't know what to do. At first I told him I wasn't going to stay with him if he left, but that's not fair so I'm letting him go and planning on trying to make this work. I'm really depressed about the whole situation. I haven't been sleeping well, and I've been crying too much since this came up. Is staying with him worth all this? Should I trust him to be true to me? And since I've been dating him since my Freshman year of high school should I just end it and start my Junior year single, and just move on?
Please, please, please... I could really use the help.
 
PostPosted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 12:12 pm
eek I have a love issue myself.
I left home and went off to college leaving someone I loved behind. The thing was is that I broke up with him cause he wouldn't come with me knowing that he could and had nothing else better to do. I'm about to go home for summer vacation and I know he'll be there. I miss him so much. The thing is, is that I moved on and found someone else. but I won't be seeing him for the hole vacation. I know that my ex is going to want to work it out, and I'm not sure if I should trust the guy I'm with to stay honiest. Should I stay honiest then? I really like the guy I'm with now. But what if he cheats on me during the summer, What if I stay fateful to him when I get the chance to cheat? What should I do?  

Arielace


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 12:42 am
Ok, first off, W_S, the best thing to do is trust him. If you've been with him that long, don't you think he would have cheated on you by now if he was planning on doing as such?

I know its hard, believe me I know. My fiance` got a job offer in Illinois a few months after we had gotten together, and he took it. I was really upset and really worried about it because every boyfriend I've ever had before him had cheated on me (and I'm so seriously not kidding...EVERY one of them) so I was completely paranoid that it'd be one of them all over again. But you know what? He didn't cheat, and now I'm getting married to him sometime next year. You just have to have faith in him, and you have to make sure that he's got that same faith in you. If you seperated over something as simple as four hours, you'd hate yourself forever. It sounds like you've got a really good thing going for you, stick with it!

And Arielace, same thing applies, cheating will never get you anywhere, and it will make you feel absolutely horrid if you do as such. Just look at it from your current man's perspective. What if he found out? What would you do then? And if your ex wouldn't leave and go with you before, he apparently doesn't care for you half as much as you think he does. I mean, if he had the chance, had nothing holding him down, and didn't do it, he doesn't seem like a very good boyfriend to me...

These are just my opinions though... sweatdrop  
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 9:31 am
Tempus_Glacia
Ok, first off, W_S, the best thing to do is trust him. If you've been with him that long, don't you think he would have cheated on you by now if he was planning on doing as such?

I know its hard, believe me I know. My fiance` got a job offer in Illinois a few months after we had gotten together, and he took it. I was really upset and really worried about it because every boyfriend I've ever had before him had cheated on me (and I'm so seriously not kidding...EVERY one of them) so I was completely paranoid that it'd be one of them all over again. But you know what? He didn't cheat, and now I'm getting married to him sometime next year. You just have to have faith in him, and you have to make sure that he's got that same faith in you. If you seperated over something as simple as four hours, you'd hate yourself forever. It sounds like you've got a really good thing going for you, stick with it!

And Arielace, same thing applies, cheating will never get you anywhere, and it will make you feel absolutely horrid if you do as such. Just look at it from your current man's perspective. What if he found out? What would you do then? And if your ex wouldn't leave and go with you before, he apparently doesn't care for you half as much as you think he does. I mean, if he had the chance, had nothing holding him down, and didn't do it, he doesn't seem like a very good boyfriend to me...

These are just my opinions though... sweatdrop


Yea your right. The guy back at home probably dosen't care anymore. And agian, I like the guy I'm with way to much to do something like that. I shouldn't dirty myself simply because I don't think I can trust him. I just hope this guy I'm with now dosen't go off and cheat on me during the summer simply because I'm not there-and I end up alone in the end as a result. Perhaps it's just me being parinoid about not being able to see him until I get back.  

Arielace


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 11:17 am
It probably is paranoia. Don't worry so much! If he really cares about you as much as you seem to care about him, everything will work out alright in the end! Get phone numbers and such, e-mail addressed, whatever, and stay in touch throughout the summer. No big deal! ^___^  
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 12:25 pm
Arielace
eek I have a love issue myself.
I left home and went off to college leaving someone I loved behind. The thing was is that I broke up with him cause he wouldn't come with me knowing that he could and had nothing else better to do. I'm about to go home for summer vacation and I know he'll be there. I miss him so much. The thing is, is that I moved on and found someone else. but I won't be seeing him for the hole vacation. I know that my ex is going to want to work it out, and I'm not sure if I should trust the guy I'm with to stay honiest. Should I stay honiest then? I really like the guy I'm with now. But what if he cheats on me during the summer, What if I stay fateful to him when I get the chance to cheat? What should I do?

I agree with T_G. But if getting with your ex is more important to you than being with your current boyfriend, then your only hurting yourself being with your current boyfriend. You have to evaluate what you want and decide. But if you do plan on getting with your ex. Don't mislead your boyfriend, at least have the curtousy to break up with him
 

watermelon_slice


watermelon_slice

PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 12:27 pm
Tempus_Glacia
Ok, first off, W_S, the best thing to do is trust him. If you've been with him that long, don't you think he would have cheated on you by now if he was planning on doing as such?

I know its hard, believe me I know. My fiance` got a job offer in Illinois a few months after we had gotten together, and he took it. I was really upset and really worried about it because every boyfriend I've ever had before him had cheated on me (and I'm so seriously not kidding...EVERY one of them) so I was completely paranoid that it'd be one of them all over again. But you know what? He didn't cheat, and now I'm getting married to him sometime next year. You just have to have faith in him, and you have to make sure that he's got that same faith in you. If you seperated over something as simple as four hours, you'd hate yourself forever. It sounds like you've got a really good thing going for you, stick with it!

And Arielace, same thing applies, cheating will never get you anywhere, and it will make you feel absolutely horrid if you do as such. Just look at it from your current man's perspective. What if he found out? What would you do then? And if your ex wouldn't leave and go with you before, he apparently doesn't care for you half as much as you think he does. I mean, if he had the chance, had nothing holding him down, and didn't do it, he doesn't seem like a very good boyfriend to me...

These are just my opinions though... sweatdrop


Wow thank you so much. After talking with my friends I felt even worse about it. One straight up told me to break up with him, because there was no way he wasn't going to cheat on me. Thank you so much for your positive input and experience. It truly makes me feel much better.
 
PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:10 pm
watermelon_slice
Arielace
eek I have a love issue myself.
I left home and went off to college leaving someone I loved behind. The thing was is that I broke up with him cause he wouldn't come with me knowing that he could and had nothing else better to do. I'm about to go home for summer vacation and I know he'll be there. I miss him so much. The thing is, is that I moved on and found someone else. but I won't be seeing him for the hole vacation. I know that my ex is going to want to work it out, and I'm not sure if I should trust the guy I'm with to stay honiest. Should I stay honiest then? I really like the guy I'm with now. But what if he cheats on me during the summer, What if I stay fateful to him when I get the chance to cheat? What should I do?

I agree with T_G. But if getting with your ex is more important to you than being with your current boyfriend, then your only hurting yourself being with your current boyfriend. You have to evaluate what you want and decide. But if you do plan on getting with your ex. Don't mislead your boyfriend, at least have the curtousy to break up with him


neutral Na, I like my current boyfriend too much for that. But I do hope my ex understands that I'm happy and not trys to talk me out of it. What bothers me the most is that my parents are so close to him and they've have been advising me to get back with him. They don't even know that I've moved on... Hmm, I wonder how they're going to take the news.
Plus it seems that a lot of my friends are getting engaged to eachother so fast! And It's making me feel alittle left out. It seems rather crazy actually. sweatdrop  

Arielace


Tempus_Glacia

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 3:48 pm
DON'T rush getting engaged! From the voice of experience that has been as such twice before, it isn't something you wanna rush into. I had one ask me to marry him, and I haven't seen him since, I had another ask me, then break up with me at our Senior Prom, and now, the one I'm with is absolutely perfect (if some what clingy at times) and I'm telling you, don't worry about not being engaged yet, it isn't a thrill-ride, its kind of stressful xD  
PostPosted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 3:55 pm
watermelon_slice


Wow thank you so much. After talking with my friends I felt even worse about it. One straight up told me to break up with him, because there was no way he wasn't going to cheat on me. Thank you so much for your positive input and experience. It truly makes me feel much better.


Ah, don't mention it. I like to help, and I like to do whatever I can. Sometimes it makes me feel bad 'cause all I can do is talk, but, when it helps and/or makes people feel better, then hey! Makes me feel great! ^___^  

Tempus_Glacia

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Psycho_Kat

PostPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 7:09 pm
If you're having doubts about it all, i'd take some time to look at everything. You trust him, right? Trust is a basis of a relationship, you need it.
But I can relate, I met my current boyfriend my freshman year, he was a senior, graduated now. Me be sophmore. He goes to college too, but its not that far away. Course, he's not staying on campus either, yours might, so that could be a different circumstance.
Just think about it, worrying and doubting 'll cause a serious strain.
 
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"ALI" Advice for Life Issues

 
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