Save My Tears For A Rainy Day

[MiiSS MAYH3M]

Now, I know that most of you probably wouldn't be concerned with this, but it's something I have to vent, before I break.

Many of you can probably remember the sitcoms of the 90's. Saved by the bell, Family Matters, Full House, shows like that. Everyone in the family was happy, and even though they had their hard times, everything turned out in the end right? Everyone wanted a family like that. Too bad, it never happened for my family.

My father is not a nice person, that I've learned to accept. He was great for about a year, and then something happened. For 15 years, (I'm 16 now) I've given my father chances, to come back into my life. 15 long years, I watched my father leave at 6am, and come back home around 4am, from either work, or going out with his friends.

When he was home, life was, to say the least, hell. I was always the scapegoat when something went wrong. When a dish broke, or something was left on the floor, someone idn't do a chore, or I had been late coming home, I would get pulled up to my parents room for about two hours, to suffer the harsh blows of words my father had created in his mind for me.

My mother? Ha! That's a laugh. From the time I was about eight, when my sister was born, it was as if I became a slave to my family. I learned to cook, clean, iron, press, and babysit, all before I reached puberty. My little sister, Leah, has started to call me "Mommy." Leah, is six, turning seven on Halloween. She is a vision in pink, and I'm very proud of her for not complying to my lifestyle of being a hard "goth" I suppose you could say, although I hate labels. My mother works from around 8 am, to 5:30 PM, but then goes to do her homework, and then joins my father at whatever club he's at. I have two other siblings, both boys. One, who is 13, tries his best to help me out around the house, and I appreciate that.

My best friend of 3 years, I am now being informed of, is a scumbag, who only wants to get into my pants. He may be a bit of a "hippie" [[That's my nickname for him...No one else can call him that]] but he's the best friend I've ever had, and I'm no longer allowed to see him.

I don't know what I'm even writing this for, but I suppose it's just because I need help. I'm lost at the point, and I suppose some new views of the situation will be helpful.  

[MiiSS MAYH3M]

Whoo, I can't believe I wrote that long. Heh, sorry it is that long. ><  

[Not Importante]

Sometimes its good to vent. I actually made a xanga site or something to vent for myself. At least you did decide to vent and not be me and just basically have a really bad nervous breakdown or a breakdown of some sort.  

[Blank of Tantalus]

How horrible! gonk How do you manage your time?!

My advice: Get away from that house. Try getting more involved with other things that could take time away from being at home afterschool. If your parents get mad, tell them that they need to realize that you're growing up. In addition, get a new friend. You dont need any more trouble, and though he's your friend, he may be up to no good. stare Find someone who you can rely on to stick up for you, without having them expect something in return. Then there's always: Tell you parents how you feel. Why are you the only one supporting the family at home? scream

If all else fails - See Dr. Phil. confused  

[IfAngelsBurn]

It is alright to vent, there is nothing wrong with that. It helps to get things off your chest.

Try talking to your parents about this, make them see that you are also their daughter and not their slave. Tell them that it isn't fair to you or to your two brothers and sisters what they are doing. However, I wouldn't go so far as to call them bad parents because that might send them over the edge. What they are doing to you isn't right. What they are doing to your siblings isn't right.

You are not the adult, mother, or caregiver - which is the place that they have put you in. Instead of them acting like the adults, they have laid that "chore" on you and they act like the "rebel" children.

I would say that you should stop doing everything for them, but I also feel a sense of humility and honor on your part for taking care of your younger siblings. But your parents need to learn what they are doing.

If that fails, than maybe suggest to your parents about seeing a family pshycitrist. If you can't muster up the courage to talk to them face to face - which a lot of people can't do. Than try writing them a letter and explaining it to them.  

[hahahaha538]

the same stuff (kinda) happens to me all the time, what i do, is say things so cruel, that my mom cries, and then i get my dad gets so stressed out that he doesnt want anything to do with anyone. So basically, i just live next door at my gma's house, which i love her, shes awsome, i hate my parents, they should fall in a ditch and die. Someone should fill the dirt back in the ditch while they are still alive! biggrin mrgreen 4laugh lol razz surprised wink heart blaugh 3nodding xd smile  

[MiiSS MAYH3M]

That is a terrible thing to say qewlkid. They're still your parents. As much as I'm angry at them, there's no reason to say that. I mean, if it wasn't for them, you wouldn't be here. They're always going to be there for you, and making your mother cry is just wrong.

LingMing, I do break down a lot. My venting, such as this one, always comes after I break. Heh, this was actually one of my better ones. My breaks usually include destorying of my own property. My room has now become my sanctuary, with a new lock, and a few holes in walls by my own fists. But I suppose it's better than hurting someone else...And don't say anything about a pillow -lol- RIP as of yesterday.

I manage my time very well actually, Blank. Exactly like a mother does, I suppose. I'm up at around 10am in the summer, one indulgence on my part that my parents can't control. Then I make food, and just go around doing the things that need to be done, that my parents won't do themselves. If I do try to get out of the house, I fear that my family will fall apart. No one else in the house will take that responsibility, and I'm quite sure my parents won't ever change. They'll be 92 before realizing their joints hurt. -lol- In addition, my friend, Brandon, would never do that. He's almost engaged as of last week. To a very nice girl named Jodi. She's quite sweet actually, and we're getting to be very good friends. I've known Brandon my whole life almost, and my parents are only saying that because he stood up for me when my father was yelling. Dr. Phil's head would spin if he heard all this, I'm sure, but I'll keep it in mind, thank you.

No, you're right IfAngelsBurn. My parents aren't "bad" parents. Just a little immature. I do like your advice though. I'd say your comparison to hem being "rebel" kids is quite acurate. Thank you. However, I can't just stop everything I'm doing, that would be a mess, maybe only a little bit at a time.

Thanks everyone, you've helped so much.  

[thin line of sanity]

okay....well i have a very good friend that went thought all that...and she is sitting next to me right now alive and very well....so if she could do it i think you can too....just try to deal as best as you can...and remember that when you are 18 in 2 years you will be free to do what you want...and 2 years will pass quickly....just try your best....and you will make it...pm me if you would like to vent im more than willing to listen to you...  

[MiiSS MAYH3M]

Well thank you. ^^ I shall keep that in mind, too.  

[Red Dye #2]

You love your family
you have younger siblings that your care about very much and from the sounds of things the feeling is mutual
you're dad is a man drowned in selfish routine, you're mom is a lazy useless sounding woman.
Yes they brought you into the world, and their failing the first test whatever you believe in is giving them. Every parent has the right to make their child a slave and treat them like crud, however the secret is that they're not supposed to. They're supposed to try to keep their temper when you drive the m crazy from the ages 0-4 maybe and most likely 4-15, and hopefully you'll grow up to be a smart hunk o' meats.
You're situation is a combination of two of my friends, both of them are younger then you and deal with things in a different way. I can't give you advice but I can tell you what they do.
#1 isn't physically hurt but she has to do everything around the house, practically raise the children on her own (two littluns), and can almost never go anywhere. #2 has actually gotten used to things like getting books or utensils thrown at her or being pushed down the stairs by her mother. She's used to her mom going out late at night and not coming back until the next day, and she's used to watching her mom drunk or high.
#1 loses herself in any distraction she can and then suffers from breakdowns and her way if thinking is obviousely messed up. #2's brain is just as screwed and she takes her mothers actions in stride, she goes to school and has a small group of close friends (one of them became a boyfriend, but she's sick of the different way he acts and is trying to just be friends with him again).
I'm a lucky girl, I have a good family, not perfect but good.
So that being the case the way both of my friends act puzzles me and frustrates me. Either way if you can come up with some sort of excuse to be away from your family for even a week (a GOOD excuse) that itself might be a bucket of ice water for your folks.
Take care, don't randomly deside to kill yourself either, and sorry your folks are acting how they are towards friend (two words: secret randezvouz)  

[MiiSS MAYH3M]

No, I don't think I'll try to do that...It wouldn't make much sense, being my parents would literally let my family fall apart had I actually the guts to kill myself. I wouldn't do that right now anyways, as I've just had a friend shoot himself through the heart, on April Fools' Day of this year. I really couldn't even think of that.

A secret randezvouz is actually quite a good idea, and we've been using that for many months, before you suggested it. Thank you for the wonderful idea though.

I actually sound more like friend #1, though I hate using numbers in reference to friends. I tend to do that. And I've never physically gotten hurt...Except for that one meat slicer incident when I was 12, but that was entirely my fault, as no one else was home.

 

[strange_dreams_512]

@: XSudden
Wow, you sound alot like my older sister...except that she's mentally ill. Other than that I could say you're going through the same stuff. well...the best I can say for now is to keep your chin up. Things will get better...I know they will. Look, I have to go to bed soon, but I'll pray for you. In the meantime take care.
Some quotes I find useful...hopefully you can use them:
Even the darkest cloud has a silver lining.
Though it may not be the easiest thing to last through another day, knowing that you did is a satisfaction to life itself.
Each person you meet knows something you don't.
There are as many different ways to live as there are people on this earth.
Smiles are underrated.
To the world you're one person, but to one person you're the world.