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Reply "ALI" Advice for Life Issues
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HiddenWolfNinja

PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 2:29 am
Well, here is the situation. I'm a 12th grader, and i have a girlfriend that is a freshmen. I'm dating her for probably a month or so now. Im 17, and she is 14, and she's not suppose to date. Now i deeply love her, and i'm her world. She was really depressed before meeting me and our marching band, and she's really happy. We were talking today, and i told her im afraid to mess up and not only leave her, but cheat on her as well.She said that even if i did cheat on her, she wouldnt want me to leave, and that without me she would be dead, which means she is suicidle. I'm a virgin and all, but there is another girl who i could see myself with, she is a year younger then me, and i could have had sex with her WHILE going out with my girlfriend now...and almost did till the point i though that my girlfriend means more to me then what i thought she did!

Now, the point of this little rant, was to just let some light in on you folks, the question i have is, should i be staying ith my girlfriend, who i love dearly and all, even though i never see her out of school cus she isnt suppose to be dating. Or should i leave her now, and cause less hurt, i mean, im not saying i want to leave her, but i really dont want to hurt her more and be a reason she dies or something. i mean, i have no problem waiting for her 3 years after i graduate, no problem with that at all, but im just scared i'll mess up from temptation....

Please help me.  
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 9:21 pm
Dude...do what will make you happy. Step back for a day. And look. Can you be happy now? Or will you be happier with this other girl? It comes down to you. I'm in the same situation only i'm in a deeper grave.  

Spikin


Lovin Tha High Lifee

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 10:00 pm
If the relationship is strong enough then you should be able to wait for her no problem, as it is I think you're probably going to end up cheeting on her considering it was tempting although it won't be soon. I would build the girls heart and make her less temptid to kill herself, prepare her in other words for the enevidable and get her into a group that can help her if you do end up hurting her as a safe guard incase you do end up cheeting on her. All the same if you've stopped yourself once I think you may be able to do it again.  
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 1:03 pm
honestly, don't go breaking up with her bcs u might hurt her. might is substantial, not to mention, u ought to b thinking of the NOW, PRESENT, not possible future, bcs it's not even written on stone or anything that u will hurt her. if u really love her, [and sorry for the upcoming extremely straight-fwd comment]: YOU WILL CONTROL YOUR MAN-LIKE URGES AND NOT CHEAT ON HER BY HAVING SEX WITH ANOTHER GIRL CLOSER TO UR AGE! stressed furthermore, don't go ruining what u have now with this girl just bcs u want to get laid [no offense]. age doesn't matter if u really love her. and if u can "wait" for her, then u can b with her at the moment. lastly, u ought to make it clear to her that she shouldn't suicide over breaking up with u for one or another reason. u never know what's gonna happen, but if one thing's for sure, is the cliché of "time heals all wounds". i'm one to hate clichés, yet i admit, if they r this old, and still around, there's a reason for it, and that's the fact that they tell the truth.
PS. "going out" and "girlfriend" aren't terms that go 'hand-in-hand' in this case. it's either going out and u r nothing YET, or already went out, and have a relationship at the moment, meaning u already are boyfriend and girlfriend. just a though, anyway.... ninja  

Sotur


o0o_missteriousmystiq_o0o

PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 1:27 pm
ahhh being young and have no clue what you want...those days are soo gone for me thank goodness.

Well you have doubts,
you said to yourself you are afraid to be tempted and cheat on her,
tells you straight up you're still young and can't be in a long committed relationship. (you're one of those Mrs. right at the moment...is what you need when it comes to relationships).

Tell her straight up what you feel and break up.
Don't stay because she is suicidal,
that's just staying for pitiness of her part,
the bad way to go it sounds like you are not happy with her having
doubts about staying or going and being tempted...she might say she would let you stay even if you cheat on her;
but if it hurts her she would still be attempting to kill herself.
But if you truely care about her tell her folks that she is depress and suicidal so she can seek help.
If she is suicidal no matter what the reason,
she will kill herself from her own misery,
and able to accomplish it.
You can say you love her dearly;
but with all honesty if you love her dearly,
there wouldn't be doubts and temptations or thinking of cheating on her.
Edit: Cheating on her would be a selfish act,
for your own pleasure;
and adding insults of more pain to her unstable injuries of miseries.  
PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 7:40 pm
Do what you feel's right. I honestly doubt your current girlfriend will really commit suicide if you do break up with her. If you truly love her, why are you even scoping out others?
And remember, you don't always have to be with someone just for the sake of having sex, that's the absolute worst reason to have a long term relationship.  

The Stupidest Angel


Hugabaloo

PostPosted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 1:03 pm
I believe that if she meant enough to you, than you wouldn't be having any urges. You would never want to be with another girl if you loved her enough to go such distances.

So, maybe staying with her isn't the best choice. Perhaps you should slowly step back, and ease away from the relationship. Ending it, if she is truly suicidal, could cause her to so something rash.  
PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:21 pm
you're gonna have to find a way to explain how bad the consequences are gonna be if her folks find out she's dating you. try to just be really REALLY good friends for a while until she can go out. when you figure this all out, make sure you state that the friendship is until she can, and then you'd go back out and pretend going out now never happened. othrwise, she will be royally pissed at you.  

IKurando

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"ALI" Advice for Life Issues

 
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