Can anyone help me? Please?

[WintersFeary]

Okay please don't judge me when I start going on about what I need help with. I've just had a really sucky life so yeah here I go.

Okay well I'm about to be eighteen years old and I don't know what's happened to my life. First off I'll be starting college two months after I graduate from high school in May. It's a really scarry thought because even though I'm going to be in the same city as I am right now I'll be on a whole other side where I don't know where anything is. Not only that when I look back at things I really haven't done anything as a teenager. I've always had to play the mommy at home so I really never had to time to do what I wanted. Not only do I have that something that's closer in time is my senior project. I really need help but everytime I go to look for some from people who are supposedly my friends they just turn their backs on me. And it's always like that unless they want something from me. To top everything off trying to have any kind of relationship seems to never work for me. No matter what I do, I'm always left for someone else. I don't know if I keep doing something wrong or if they are just playing with me.

I know that's a lot to read but I really need some help and advice.

 

[Tarrien]

I really can't help you with the whole new life to start stuff...


But with being left for someone else... it's not your fault at all. People are just... if they see something they consider that seems better than what they currently have they'll usually replace it... it's just how most humans are, even if what they leave was much better than what they're going after... Sad yet true...But considering you're going to be moving to a different area, not that far but still- maybe you'll find someone to stick by you instead of leave.  

[WintersFeary]

Thank you. I guess you could be right. It's just that each and everytime they wont even say a word even after THEY make me promise to still be their friend. They make it seem like it was my fault they broke up with me. I just don't know how to handle things like that.  

[Sotur]

Well, dealing with that type of things is never easy. And making it seem as if it's your fault...I'd say it's simply trying to either fully get rid of you [sorry if that's too harsh] or simply trying to get rid of the guilt. Furthermore, it's completely normal to be scared of going to college. I was, too. Knowing where the stuff is and the buildings and all is all a matter of time. You learn them. Getting lost happens to everyone. Of course, I don't know how things go there, but here, the best advice is the following: if you get lost, don't ask a student, ask a teacher or employee. The student might, for the fun of it, send you elsewhere. As for the lenghth of the post, trust me, there has been worse. Both seen worse, and written worse [me, I mean]. anyway, in reference to relationships not happening and all, don't worry about that. When the right person comes, it'll last. And it doesn't have to be in highschool. I'll have ya know, I had my first boyfriend AFTER highschool, and I never dated before that. Point being, it's no big deal. As for your so-called friends, if they do that to you, I'm afraid to say they don't seem like very good friends to me, and as far as I'm concerned, if I were you, I'd ditch them for good. Friends are people who support you when you need it, that are there for the good and bad moments, awful moments in fact, not when they need something outta you. So, from what you say, those don't seem like friends to me, in fact, they seem like parasites. So, honestly, as hard and sad as it may be, I think you'd be better off forgeting them. Get real friends in college. As for the motherly figure in the house...well, I haven't had to do the very same, but trust me, I've had to act like an adult when I was only a child. Back when I was 11 [19 now, just an FYI] I had to help care for the bike shop my family had. accounting, fixing the bikes, assembling them, etc. so, yeah, don't let those things get you down. I know they are hard experiences, hurtful in many aspects. But look at the bright side: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You'll learn from all that which you have had to endure, and while it is true that they would only top off other bad experiences, and put you closer to breaking down, it's also true that you learn and grow from them. They hurt, yes, but they help, too. While going through them they are a pain, but once you survive and get past them...You really do learn from them. Anyway, sorry this was long, but it's all what I think and my advice. Hope it helped. 3nodding  

[WintersFeary]

I guess it's just gonna make me stronger in the long run. But it's still very disheartening seeing how I've done everything I could to make things work. But thank you so much for your words of wisdom.  

[Ayllin]

Well for the whole going to college thing maybe you could go one saturday to that side of town and looking around. Buy a map of the area and look for the things around there, that way, when you are there for school you won't be so lost. As for your other problems. Most of the time when people don't know what to do they just turn away and give up. It's human nature. If you need help maybe you could see a life coach. My mom's going back to college online so she can do that when she retires. They show you your options and help you with your future. Your senior project is a major thing, and if you really need help talk to a teacher about it. They can't help you directly but most of them are glad to help with the overall jist of it. I don't know if that helps on a senior project since I'm still in middle school...

Your only 18, you don't need to have a relationship with someone. Sure it might seem nice, but it's not neccesary. Maybe take a break from your love life for a while. Go a month or two without dating anyone. As for your friends, tell them how you feel, if they're really your friends they'll listen, and if they're not really your friends maybe you shouldn't hang out with them anymore.  

[GemEncrustedEarth]

I'm a college person but i'm only a freshman. Schools normally provide a map and there's maps around campus. And people in the college area are friendlier than you think. That's the experience I had when I wanted to know the times for daily masses (and was no where near a computer). Also, your friends are just being stupid. Let them go. You'll find a whole different group in college who will accept you for who you are. And on the plus side from what I can tell, you seem very confident in yourself. Maybe you're turning people off by being confident? (I had a similar problem)

Just remember to stick with what you believe and learn to let go. As someone I once knew said, "Be like a duck. Just let it roll right off."  

[Anotherlove]

I think that in truth you just need time for yourself. I think that even though you may want a relationship you should try just hanging out with real friends because people who are your real friends will always be there. I am a firm believer in that. I think that when you start to focus on yourself and find out who u are others will notice the difference in you. It's kinda hard to explain but what happened to u happened to me plently of times. If u wanna talk more about this though u can always pm me and I wil get back to you