cutting

[mamejen]

i suggest you use a dull knife to do it.
that way, you won't bleed.
if you like blood, make a nosebleed. JUST DON'T CUT! if that dosen't work, tell your parents and they might understand.  

[Sotur]

WindAndFire

Paradoxive

Where leg guards?
I don't know, cutting is quite stupid and should never be a result of self punishment. Think about it like this. What if you got out the shower and your parental figuers saw it? Would it be worth scaring the hell out of your mother and having to go to a therapist for your life? though it would be interesting.

No, it wouldn't be worth it. Although then maybe they'd understand....no, scratch that. They'd just send me back to the counselor who doesn't really help at all.

And now I feel like I've taken 1 step forward and 2 steps back. I gradually eased off the cutting, but then I started again about a week and a half ago because ... well, I guess it was because I was so mad at myself. Because I really do hate myself. It seems like everything I do, I make mistakes. So now, I cut less, but deeper. It's almost like I challenge myself to see how much blood I can draw to the surface of my skin. confused I just don't know what to do. Everywhere I look, I see all my flaws reflected back at me. If I criticize someone else (even if I don't say anything out loud) I feel guilty and hate myself even more.

they might understand, but u'll still scare the life outta them. and if the counseling doesn't help at all...why don't u skip the meetings? furthermore, it's good that u r cutting less, but very bad that it's deeper. u r risking having some of them need stitches if they r too deep. and of coruse there are flaws, we all have them. evryone makes mstakes. i stand by my thought that u should NOT punish urself over mistakes. evryone does something wrong evry now and then. just like there are good things, there are bad. i can't expect evrything to be peachy all the time and do evrything great, bcs it's NOT LIKE THAT, but u can't focus on the crappy side of life, either. u can't think only of bad things, notice only the bad things, bcs there's good and there's bad. they come hand-in-hand. if u fail and exam, for example, of course u'll feel bad, cry ur eyes out, be scared of any upcoming exam and even more terrified of another exam from the class which u failed the past one. I KNOW BCS IT HAPPEND TO ME. i failed (literally, i got a 53) my physics exam, and i felt horrible, cried my eyes out, and evrything else i mentioned up there. i swear if my knees start trembling during the next exam, i wouldn't be surprised. i'm extremely scared, but i'm not hurting myself. in fact, i didn't give up on my other exams, i did well on those others, even tho i'm still scared to take the next physics one, which is in a few days, actually. point being, evryone makes mistakes, they happen, everything CAN'T be jolly all the time, but things aren't ******** up all the time, either. there's a balance, whether ppl want to admit it or not there's a balance. so don't punish urself over mistakes, just mend them, fix them, but don't beat urself over it.  

[WindAndFire]

Sotur

they might understand, but u'll still scare the life outta them. and if the counseling doesn't help at all...why don't u skip the meetings? furthermore, it's good that u r cutting less, but very bad that it's deeper. u r risking having some of them need stitches if they r too deep. and of coruse there are flaws, we all have them. evryone makes mstakes. i stand by my thought that u should NOT punish urself over mistakes. evryone does something wrong evry now and then. just like there are good things, there are bad. i can't expect evrything to be peachy all the time and do evrything great, bcs it's NOT LIKE THAT, but u can't focus on the crappy side of life, either. u can't think only of bad things, notice only the bad things, bcs there's good and there's bad. they come hand-in-hand. if u fail and exam, for example, of course u'll feel bad, cry ur eyes out, be scared of any upcoming exam and even more terrified of another exam from the class which u failed the past one. I KNOW BCS IT HAPPEND TO ME. i failed (literally, i got a 53) my physics exam, and i felt horrible, cried my eyes out, and evrything else i mentioned up there. i swear if my knees start trembling during the next exam, i wouldn't be surprised. i'm extremely scared, but i'm not hurting myself. in fact, i didn't give up on my other exams, i did well on those others, even tho i'm still scared to take the next physics one, which is in a few days, actually. point being, evryone makes mistakes, they happen, everything CAN'T be jolly all the time, but things aren't ******** up all the time, either. there's a balance, whether ppl want to admit it or not there's a balance. so don't punish urself over mistakes, just mend them, fix them, but don't beat urself over it.

I haven't been to the counselor in a couple months. Everyone seems to feel I'm over the whole cuting and being depressed thing. And it kinda comes and goes, so whatever. stare  

[ItalianAngel333]

i use to cut. so i kno everything ur going thro. its so hard to stop. u have to hide the knife. and swear to urself that u wont touch it. and talk to ur friends cause mine go so worried and helped me thro it and i felt bad cutting myself over my problems and giving them problems. the best thing to do is to swear urself u wont touch it EVER again. its hard but after about 2-3 weeks wit no cutting it gets eaiser. and also if u cant stop all at once. set a goal for urself. like at the end of the month u will only cut 10-15 scratches and every month cut the number of scratches in half. it took me about 6 months. but i got there. and plus its not the worth the effort of covering everything and making up so many excuses that u cant remeber. thats how my friends found out. the best thing to do is try to stop alittle at a time. i kno its so hard to stop..it makes me feel great. but there are other ways. i learned lifes too short and that we all make mistakes. stop now and turn over a clean slate. and pretend it never happened.  

[Calypso91]

(WindAndFire wrote: Hmm, self punishment... Well, I originally started when my dad got cancer, and then I didn't stop for a while. Now it's like if I do anything wrong, if I make mistakes while I'm driving (aka not looking both ways 2-3 times before I make a left turn), if I eat junk food, if I fail an audition, if I fail a test/quiz at school.....basically whatever mistakes I make during the day, I think about at night and scrape up my skin accordingly.
And as for hiding scars, I'm already in deep water. I tried on a pair of my exercise shorts today to see if maybe I could wear them next week for drumline conditioning, and about an inch of cuts showed. scream I'm screwed.)

Dear W&F!! Hello! First off i must say, although i don't cut myself i've had the urge to do so many times but haven't. I have many friends who do cut themselves and many who HAVE stopped. You can stop too. There are many reasons why people cut themselves but none are worth it. I know that sounds tupid, or mean, or non understanding but i'm serious. YOU don't deserve it, and not only that, but the ppl around you don't either. Some think they are just doing it to themselves but it's not true. When my friends cut themselves it was a huge emotional pain for me. Seeing someone i care about do that was terrible. There are ppl around you who care and don't want you to cut yourself. I don't want you to either because even if i may never meet you, or hug you, or talk to you, i know you and i love you. Life is too precious to mess up by cutting. Reasons ppl cut include, self punsihment, depression, boredom, gossip about it, and other things. The biggest one i see is depression. There are many levels of depression and inflicting pain on one's self is a big cause of depression. I believe this may be what is causing yours because you do it whenever something bad happens. Your dad got cancer. Ask yourself, is cutting yourself going to change that? No, and also ask yourself, Do you think your father would like that you were cutting yourself because of it? Of course not. There's a bigger plan for everyone, even in death, its just hard to see. You fail a test or quiz, honey, if you cut yourself for everytime that happens you'll be like grid paper. Not trying to be funny but seriously, we're all humans,we all make mistakes, don't think Einstein or Bill Gates, or any millionaires or happy ppl or anyone for that matter, has never failed a test because they have. And it's okay, *hugs* Just remember to study, try hard, and never give up (the usual crap that everyone says right? it's true and i fail tests all the time) *extra hugs* i love those. anywho!! I recently failed an audition also, i was devestated. I had tried so hard and then to be denied of something we want so badly or need so badly, its hard for everyone. Did you know that most actors/actresses failed, on average, 18 auditions before they actually get one right or perfect. Yupp, and without failure we could never bless the success because it would be no different from the norm. There are ppl who don't even have the oppurtunity to audition let alone fail an audition. *hugs* I have a problem with food too, it always seems that i never eat right and i always have too many extra pounds hanging around. And it's tough, in life everyone is obsessed with being thin and 'hott' And it's so easy. the world is accomidating and full of junk food. fats food restuarants and yummy unhealthy food surrounds us. But your body deserves better, it deserves healthy food that also tastes good. Try apples and peanut butter or bananas and peanut butter. Low fat, reduced calorie, low sugar foods. Seriously, you can eat good without deprevation. If you ever want any recipes just ask, add me!! Your beautiful and ppl see that, and the ones who don't don't deserve your time. If you want to wear shorts stop cutting!! See, you know you can't wear them because of the marks so obviously you know it' wrong. And if you don't stop you won't be able to wear anything that shows skin!! But i'm glad you want to exercise, that's great for getting in shape! smile I do so also. Good things to do when you have the urge is write about it!! That's what i do, it really does help. And reading, jogging, drawing, also helps, they make you feel good about yourself which will help the urges. There is one last thing i think i should add, some cases, rarer than others but still in occurence that happen are ppl who cut because of a brain/bodily disorder. No i'm not saying your psycho!!! I'm saying, there is a condition where, when a big tragedy strikes (i believe that for you it is when your dad developed cancer) you become suddenly VERY depressed. You body stays like that for a long time and becomes used to not producing serotonin(a hormone that the brain produces making you happy, a lack of this may cuase depression and mood swings, suicidal thoughts and tendecies) This drop may be what is making you eat junk food, be sad/depressed, cut yourself, forget/not pay attention like on tests and on the road and make littler (not little but not huge) things like failing an audition (which i know sux, but it isn't detrimental to your life) be a bug deal. If this is the case, you might actually need ot seek psychiatric help (and no, your not crazy!! this happens!) so that a doctor can evaluate you and ifd need be, give you advice and perscription, etc. This may sound really complictaed or just odd, but, sry, i care a lot!!! And i love you, and plz talk to me and i hope this helps and you can stop cutting.

Love, andalora91 *but you can call me lora or lauren) heart smile *a billion hugs*  

[WindAndFire]

andalora91

(WindAndFire wrote: Hmm, self punishment... Well, I originally started when my dad got cancer, and then I didn't stop for a while. Now it's like if I do anything wrong, if I make mistakes while I'm driving (aka not looking both ways 2-3 times before I make a left turn), if I eat junk food, if I fail an audition, if I fail a test/quiz at school.....basically whatever mistakes I make during the day, I think about at night and scrape up my skin accordingly.
And as for hiding scars, I'm already in deep water. I tried on a pair of my exercise shorts today to see if maybe I could wear them next week for drumline conditioning, and about an inch of cuts showed. scream I'm screwed.

)

Dear W&F!! Hello! First off i must say, although i don't cut myself i've had the urge to do so many times but haven't. I have many friends who do cut themselves and many who HAVE stopped. You can stop too. There are many reasons why people cut themselves but none are worth it. I know that sounds tupid, or mean, or non understanding but i'm serious. YOU don't deserve it, and not only that, but the ppl around you don't either. Some think they are just doing it to themselves but it's not true. When my friends cut themselves it was a huge emotional pain for me. Seeing someone i care about do that was terrible. There are ppl around you who care and don't want you to cut yourself. I don't want you to either because even if i may never meet you, or hug you, or talk to you, i know you and i love you. Life is too precious to mess up by cutting. Reasons ppl cut include, self punsihment, depression, boredom, gossip about it, and other things. The biggest one i see is depression. There are many levels of depression and inflicting pain on one's self is a big cause of depression. I believe this may be what is causing yours because you do it whenever something bad happens. Your dad got cancer. Ask yourself, is cutting yourself going to change that? No, and also ask yourself, Do you think your father would like that you were cutting yourself because of it? Of course not. There's a bigger plan for everyone, even in death, its just hard to see. You fail a test or quiz, honey, if you cut yourself for everytime that happens you'll be like grid paper. Not trying to be funny but seriously, we're all humans,we all make mistakes, don't think Einstein or Bill Gates, or any millionaires or happy ppl or anyone for that matter, has never failed a test because they have. And it's okay, *hugs* Just remember to study, try hard, and never give up (the usual crap that everyone says right? it's true and i fail tests all the time) *extra hugs* i love those. anywho!! I recently failed an audition also, i was devestated. I had tried so hard and then to be denied of something we want so badly or need so badly, its hard for everyone. Did you know that most actors/actresses failed, on average, 18 auditions before they actually get one right or perfect. Yupp, and without failure we could never bless the success because it would be no different from the norm. There are ppl who don't even have the oppurtunity to audition let alone fail an audition. *hugs* I have a problem with food too, it always seems that i never eat right and i always have too many extra pounds hanging around. And it's tough, in life everyone is obsessed with being thin and 'hott' And it's so easy. the world is accomidating and full of junk food. fats food restuarants and yummy unhealthy food surrounds us. But your body deserves better, it deserves healthy food that also tastes good. Try apples and peanut butter or bananas and peanut butter. Low fat, reduced calorie, low sugar foods. Seriously, you can eat good without deprevation. If you ever want any recipes just ask, add me!! Your beautiful and ppl see that, and the ones who don't don't deserve your time. If you want to wear shorts stop cutting!! See, you know you can't wear them because of the marks so obviously you know it' wrong. And if you don't stop you won't be able to wear anything that shows skin!! But i'm glad you want to exercise, that's great for getting in shape! smile I do so also. Good things to do when you have the urge is write about it!! That's what i do, it really does help. And reading, jogging, drawing, also helps, they make you feel good about yourself which will help the urges. There is one last thing i think i should add, some cases, rarer than others but still in occurence that happen are ppl who cut because of a brain/bodily disorder. No i'm not saying your psycho!!! I'm saying, there is a condition where, when a big tragedy strikes (i believe that for you it is when your dad developed cancer) you become suddenly VERY depressed. You body stays like that for a long time and becomes used to not producing serotonin(a hormone that the brain produces making you happy, a lack of this may cuase depression and mood swings, suicidal thoughts and tendecies) This drop may be what is making you eat junk food, be sad/depressed, cut yourself, forget/not pay attention like on tests and on the road and make littler (not little but not huge) things like failing an audition (which i know sux, but it isn't detrimental to your life) be a bug deal. If this is the case, you might actually need ot seek psychiatric help (and no, your not crazy!! this happens!) so that a doctor can evaluate you and ifd need be, give you advice and perscription, etc. This may sound really complictaed or just odd, but, sry, i care a lot!!! And i love you, and plz talk to me and i hope this helps and you can stop cutting.

Love, andalora91 *but you can call me lora or lauren) heart smile *a billion hugs*

Wow. Thank you.
Anyway, according to my mother I'm "not a very good liar" and she somehow figured out I was cutting. And so now I have to see a counselor once a week. and she took away every razor blade I have (I have to "check out" a razor whenever I need to shave scream ) I think not cutting is kinda helping, but sometimes I get so overwhelmed that I ask someone at school for a paperclip and scratch some skin off with that. But spring break is coming soon so I'm going to make an extra effort to not damage myself at least for the next few weeks.  

[-Cupcake Injected-]

i understand your problem....i have an issue with it too...no one knows about it cause i keep it to way up on my thighs and mu ankles. everyone is always checking my wrists cause im an emo but im not that stupid. i should probaly try the ice thing..i just cant help it sometimes..i never used to but i just snapped one day after i had been through a bit and that last thing that happend....i just feel like i need to bleed...try the ice thing...