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 Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 7:45 pm
Basically this is the same old same old when it comes to the whole falling head over heels for your best friend thing
But here's the real issue..you see we went out, we tried to be together and he got scared the second week into it. He said he was scared that he would hurt me but by him doing this to me he made everything 10 times worse. I would cry everytime I talked to him cause I was so broken. But now its been a week wince this happened and now I have the feeling he's trying to slowly push me away. He said that I would always be his but I really don't understood what he ment by "You'll always be my angel" Was it ment as a best friend thing or is there more to it? He doesn't talk to me much anymore and we we do talk we just talk about guitars and Sonata Arctica(our favorite band) I just need to know what to do in order to make him feel better about "us" or anything would really help at this point because I'm begining to get the jealous best friend complex. He lives 2600 miles from me so I guess that really doesn't help much.
(By the way..My siggy..that's him)
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Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 9:56 pm
trying to hold onto this while he's working on opposing motions is only going to make you feel worse. You want to take action to restore order to your relationship with him... step back. Take the lead on putting distance between you and he. But come right out to him and say "I feel like things are getting weird between us and everytime I try to do something you seem to put more distance. I'm going to assume it's a hint and back off. when you're ready come find me."
The trick is following through. You'll obviously have issues doing so but seriously if you keep clinging to him you're just going you make him loose respect for you. It's very very hard to respect someone who doesn't try to protect themselves when you hurt them.
Seriously.... pull back for a bit and work out your feelings. If he comes back, give it one more chance but if he bails again that pattern is all you'll have to look forward to and escaping from it is your best option.
With the distance this should be easier but I'm not familiar with your specific psychology.
Let me know if you have any questions or conflicts.
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 5:31 am
Grypesagon trying to hold onto this while he's working on opposing motions is only going to make you feel worse. You want to take action to restore order to your relationship with him... step back. Take the lead on putting distance between you and he. But come right out to him and say "I feel like things are getting weird between us and everytime I try to do something you seem to put more distance. I'm going to assume it's a hint and back off. when you're ready come find me." The trick is following through. You'll obviously have issues doing so but seriously if you keep clinging to him you're just going you make him loose respect for you. It's very very hard to respect someone who doesn't try to protect themselves when you hurt them. Seriously.... pull back for a bit and work out your feelings. If he comes back, give it one more chance but if he bails again that pattern is all you'll have to look forward to and escaping from it is your best option. With the distance this should be easier but I'm not familiar with your specific psychology. Let me know if you have any questions or conflicts. I've already tried to give him his space, I've tried to leave him but yet he keeps pulling me back saying "I need you..I need you here with me" He keeps saying he doesn't want to lose me but yet he pushes me away.
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 11:09 am
SniperWolf16 Grypesagon trying to hold onto this while he's working on opposing motions is only going to make you feel worse. You want to take action to restore order to your relationship with him... step back. Take the lead on putting distance between you and he. But come right out to him and say "I feel like things are getting weird between us and everytime I try to do something you seem to put more distance. I'm going to assume it's a hint and back off. when you're ready come find me." The trick is following through. You'll obviously have issues doing so but seriously if you keep clinging to him you're just going you make him loose respect for you. It's very very hard to respect someone who doesn't try to protect themselves when you hurt them. Seriously.... pull back for a bit and work out your feelings. If he comes back, give it one more chance but if he bails again that pattern is all you'll have to look forward to and escaping from it is your best option. With the distance this should be easier but I'm not familiar with your specific psychology. Let me know if you have any questions or conflicts. I've already tried to give him his space, I've tried to leave him but yet he keeps pulling me back saying "I need you..I need you here with me" He keeps saying he doesn't want to lose me but yet he pushes me away. Like i said, the trick is going to be following through. Don't come back just because he says to. You're giving him everything without making him work for it. You're available whenever he wants and he doesn't have to be available when you want. Change that. Make him move outside of his comfort.
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:14 pm
Grypesagon SniperWolf16 Grypesagon trying to hold onto this while he's working on opposing motions is only going to make you feel worse. You want to take action to restore order to your relationship with him... step back. Take the lead on putting distance between you and he. But come right out to him and say "I feel like things are getting weird between us and everytime I try to do something you seem to put more distance. I'm going to assume it's a hint and back off. when you're ready come find me." The trick is following through. You'll obviously have issues doing so but seriously if you keep clinging to him you're just going you make him loose respect for you. It's very very hard to respect someone who doesn't try to protect themselves when you hurt them. Seriously.... pull back for a bit and work out your feelings. If he comes back, give it one more chance but if he bails again that pattern is all you'll have to look forward to and escaping from it is your best option. With the distance this should be easier but I'm not familiar with your specific psychology. Let me know if you have any questions or conflicts. I've already tried to give him his space, I've tried to leave him but yet he keeps pulling me back saying "I need you..I need you here with me" He keeps saying he doesn't want to lose me but yet he pushes me away. Like i said, the trick is going to be following through. Don't come back just because he says to. You're giving him everything without making him work for it. You're available whenever he wants and he doesn't have to be available when you want. Change that. Make him move outside of his comfort. Ohhhh!! I get what you mean now..basically almost like turning the tables on him and he'll understand how I felt when he did all this to me..Kinda eek O.o
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Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 1:06 pm
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Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 2:56 pm
Well so far so good cause I haven't talked to him in like a few days
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Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 6:14 pm
Its all over crying
He told me that I'll never be anything more then a friend to him thats why he's been trying to push me away cause he was seeing someone else while all this was happening and I don't know what I'm gonna do
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Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 1:11 pm
SniperWolf16 Basically this is the same old same old when it comes to the whole falling head over heels for your best friend thing But here's the real issue..you see we went out, we tried to be together and he got scared the second week into it. He said he was scared that he would hurt me but by him doing this to me he made everything 10 times worse. I would cry everytime I talked to him cause I was so broken. But now its been a week wince this happened and now I have the feeling he's trying to slowly push me away. He said that I would always be his but I really don't understood what he ment by "You'll always be my angel" Was it ment as a best friend thing or is there more to it? He doesn't talk to me much anymore and we we do talk we just talk about guitars and Sonata Arctica(our favorite band) I just need to know what to do in order to make him feel better about "us" or anything would really help at this point because I'm begining to get the jealous best friend complex. He lives 2600 miles from me so I guess that really doesn't help much. (By the way..My siggy..that's him) Ouch... that's kinda what happened with me and my now ex. We had broken up quite a bit and after I broke up with him the 3rd time everything went down hill. I told him I still wanted to be friends with him but after he got a new girlfriend he thought I was jealous when I was happy for him. I mean I still loved him but I knew he wasn't happy with me any more. So after a month or two of pretty much disowning him as a friend he broke up with his girlfriend. (by the way... he got the new girlfriend just a little less then a week after I broke up with him) So then I desided to forgive him for being a total jerk and yes... using me during the time I did date him. Then he said that he hated me and blocked me from AIM after asking if he'd like to come along with a group of our friends to the movies to see Epic Movie cause I know he likes things like that. Well yeah... he told me that he hates me. I was totally distressed and with all the family issues I had in the past few months I was already suffering from suicidal thoughts. It took all I had not to go down stairs to the kitchen to stab myself that night. Then I found out from anouther friend that he doesn't hate me. It still confuses me. Because I now know that he did use me and he did lie to me for the 2 years that we were dating. So yeah.. don't go with my example... and I'm so sorry that he did that to you. I know it's hard.
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Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 3:36 pm
luckylee218 SniperWolf16 Basically this is the same old same old when it comes to the whole falling head over heels for your best friend thing But here's the real issue..you see we went out, we tried to be together and he got scared the second week into it. He said he was scared that he would hurt me but by him doing this to me he made everything 10 times worse. I would cry everytime I talked to him cause I was so broken. But now its been a week wince this happened and now I have the feeling he's trying to slowly push me away. He said that I would always be his but I really don't understood what he ment by "You'll always be my angel" Was it ment as a best friend thing or is there more to it? He doesn't talk to me much anymore and we we do talk we just talk about guitars and Sonata Arctica(our favorite band) I just need to know what to do in order to make him feel better about "us" or anything would really help at this point because I'm begining to get the jealous best friend complex. He lives 2600 miles from me so I guess that really doesn't help much. (By the way..My siggy..that's him) Ouch... that's kinda what happened with me and my now ex. We had broken up quite a bit and after I broke up with him the 3rd time everything went down hill. I told him I still wanted to be friends with him but after he got a new girlfriend he thought I was jealous when I was happy for him. I mean I still loved him but I knew he wasn't happy with me any more. So after a month or two of pretty much disowning him as a friend he broke up with his girlfriend. (by the way... he got the new girlfriend just a little less then a week after I broke up with him) So then I desided to forgive him for being a total jerk and yes... using me during the time I did date him. Then he said that he hated me and blocked me from AIM after asking if he'd like to come along with a group of our friends to the movies to see Epic Movie cause I know he likes things like that. Well yeah... he told me that he hates me. I was totally distressed and with all the family issues I had in the past few months I was already suffering from suicidal thoughts. It took all I had not to go down stairs to the kitchen to stab myself that night. Then I found out from anouther friend that he doesn't hate me. It still confuses me. Because I now know that he did use me and he did lie to me for the 2 years that we were dating. So yeah.. don't go with my example... and I'm so sorry that he did that to you. I know it's hard. Oh ouch...my sword began to look very friendly lucky he was there telling me not to..He always took me back no matter what but only on a best friend sort of thing
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 6:45 am
Unfortunately these things happen. I know it doesn't feel pretty right now. Love always feels like the end of the world when it burns you. You'll get another chance. Just take some time to sort yourself out and then move forward again.
It'll never go away, but in time it does fade.
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 10:17 pm
Well...I blocked him off of everything..he was being an a*****e and dug the knife deeper..He's so bipolar its crazy:
Me: Then why even lie to me?
Him: I didn't lie
Me: You could of just said nothing and everything would be okay
Him: I have never lied to you
Him: well If I had said "nothing" you would have guilted it out of me
Him: I just wanted to make you happy
Me: Instead I had a taste of what it would of been like and now that its Him: and then I realized what I had done and I hated myself for it
Him: well than you are lucky you had a taste
Him: I don't ever regret the relationships Ive had with people
Him: no matter how things turn out in the end
Him: I always have at least one happy memory of them that keeps me going
Me: All I can say was that you made me so happy for those 2 weeks then all this..s**t...
Me: I was happy
Him: you did nothing to me
Him: I did this to myself
Me: Just so you know...love leaves a scar no matter how hard we try to get rid of it..I'll still love you for a good long time no matter how hard I try to get rid of it
Me: Believe me..I tried to hate you
Me: I wished I hated you
Me: But I can't
Him: I know
Him: just promise me something
Me: Promise you what now
Him: just keep living
Him: no matter how much it hurts...
Me: Just keep living....
Him:....for me....
There there was all this:
Him: come here...
Him: I'll let you cry as much as you want
Me: I don't want you to get wet
Him: I dont care
Me: Or get hurt
Me: I get violent
Me: Start smashing and breaking things then finally falling to the floor crying
Him: then I'll just hug you
Me: ....
(these 2 pieces of the convo were when he finally told me it was over and will be permently, Saturday night)
And now today he spent the whole day chewing me out because of all this and basically is pushing me off on other people and trying to get away from me..I can't lose him because of what happened...so I figured I'd let him alone for a good few weeks...I just don't know anymore crying
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Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 8:49 pm
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Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2007 9:06 pm
it happened to me by my friend summer. she did that to me but she said i was more of a brother. i don't want to talk to ehr anymore. and she's kind of pissed me off more cuz she always forgets the items i let her borrow. and i've been scolded by my teacher for it. i see her alot but our conversations and friendship isn't what it used to be. i used to ehr and show her my lvoe then she got mad and yelled at me. i tried taslking to ehr about my problems and she gets mad at me and insults me by saying stop w/ these emo problems!!!
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Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 8:32 pm
K1T3 it happened to me by my friend summer. she did that to me but she said i was more of a brother. i don't want to talk to ehr anymore. and she's kind of pissed me off more cuz she always forgets the items i let her borrow. and i've been scolded by my teacher for it. i see her alot but our conversations and friendship isn't what it used to be. i used to ehr and show her my lvoe then she got mad and yelled at me. i tried taslking to ehr about my problems and she gets mad at me and insults me by saying stop w/ these emo problems!!! I know how that goes...you see..my ex is very Bi-Polar and his mood swings get worse and worse the longer I've known him...one moment he would love me to death then the next he was like "I don't want to talk to you right now" though we were going out! I love him more then anything and that's why I have to let him go...I feel like I've chained him to me though he says I haven't
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