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 Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 7:34 pm
Immediately, I'd like to factor in that it is my "time of month" and that it'll pass...but I've been thinking like this for quite a few collective months now...
I have no reason or clue as to why I'm living...
I'm not as happy or optimistic as I was when I was younger..
I seem and even look depressed at one glance..
Naturally, I'm quiet and keep to myself mostly...but I also like to have some attention when I'm feeling down..Sometimes I get it, if my friends are paying attention to me, but more than half the time they aren't...I'm not stereotyped into being an "emo"...my own sister calls me a prep for the most part........one of my friends claims that I have ADHD as a joke..
I have no reasons to cry...I've had a pretty good life..nothing too sudden..
Except today, as lunch period was over. I was walking to class and I just started to tear up in the hall...none formed too well, none fell.......but I could feel them forming..why? Somebody help???
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Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:45 pm
I would like to start by saying that I really wish the people in these forums would pay more attention to posts like yours, instead of all the immature "omg i liek this boy" ones. People need to grow up.
What you described is, indeed, early signs of depression. If you can think of nothing wrong (no family issues, no relationship troubles, etc.), then you need to tell you parents or talk to a school counselor.
I have dealt with depression since I was twelve years old. The symptoms you have described are very similar to mine. I am not a doctor, but having read a lot of medical dictionaries and such your depression sounds like the idiopathic kind (meaning the reason is unknown). It could be a chemical imbalance.
Regardless of what type it is, please speak to a counselor or other reliable adult to try some therapy, and if need be, antidepressants.
If you are still unsure about having someone to talk to, you are more than welcome to PM me. Be safe. heart
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Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:51 pm
Thanks again, Nariko...
Now to be honest, I'm quite scared that it is..I was afraid it would be and now I'm just scared for my life. I feel like I've been marked for my death already, like my siggy says.. >.< I've been labeled and feel that I can't get out of it...I know I can, but I feel like I can't........Over half my friends hadn't even noticed my expressions today..only 1 of them did..and I told him it was nothing. My mom could see it too, I think. My expressions were quite scared today, or I'm catching the early signs of illness. It could be both, but I'm still scared..... >.<
I've been thinking of keeping a "feeling journal" maybe. Maybe help me cope through this and see if I can solve as to why I'm feeling it..Thanks again Nariko.
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Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 8:58 pm
im not really sure what to say... im going through the same thing right now. like 3 weeks ago, i had a great weekend, but when i got home, i just started crying, and not cuz i was happy, but cuz i was miserable, and i couldnt figure out y? (im actually still wondering). all i can really say is try to be optimistic and find things in life that make it worth while. also, yes, these r early signs of depression, so if u feel u should talk 2 a therapist, go right ahead, itll probably help.
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Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 9:59 pm
don't keep your emotions in. they will build up and soon you will reach teh point where even talking about ti won't solve a thing. you've just begun to notice this. here's some thigns to keep your spirits up.
people walk all over the depressed, become proud and happy and you won't get hurt. sure this road is long with a ton of ditches but keep on track.
to make your self happy. compliment yourself what you have is your own no one elses. if they can't take that then let them deal with it. it's not always your problem.
depression is a slow killer. i have it. but to deal with it i go out and relax hang out with friends. and when im very down i ask advice from my friends for help. you should do that too. i don't want someone who i gave advice to regretting taking it.
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Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 10:10 pm
XBelievingxisxLyingX Thanks again, Nariko... Now to be honest, I'm quite scared that it is..I was afraid it would be and now I'm just scared for my life. I feel like I've been marked for my death already, like my siggy says.. >.< I've been labeled and feel that I can't get out of it...I know I can, but I feel like I can't........Over half my friends hadn't even noticed my expressions today..only 1 of them did..and I told him it was nothing. My mom could see it too, I think. My expressions were quite scared today, or I'm catching the early signs of illness. It could be both, but I'm still scared..... >.< I've been thinking of keeping a "feeling journal" maybe. Maybe help me cope through this and see if I can solve as to why I'm feeling it..Thanks again Nariko.
Sometimes, therapists may ask to read some of your writing if they think it will help them to know the real you. It might be a good idea to keep two journals - one that you can share with your therapist (or anyone else you want to read it, like a counselor or a close friend) and another for yourself (this one should contain more personal things that you really wouldn't share with anyone else).
However, anything dealing with self-injury or thoughts of suicide should go in the journal you show to your therapist/friend/counselor. Those are the kinds of things that you can't always solve alone, and should never be kept a secret for your own safety.
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Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 4:52 pm
Nariko, I can never thank you enough for the great advice. I shall go out and get a couple more journals then.. ^^
And thanks to all of you who have added to it..Especially k1t3..that makes complete sense to me, I must remind myself to do that. 3nodding
Just......thanks for everything...all of you..
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 11:05 am
I agree with Nariko. These are the early signs (and people should look at posts like yours!). By the sound of it you have nothing to be depressed about... but recently I went through depression. WHat you described is how I felt. I would talk with someone you feel confertabule with. Conselors sometimes take a long time to warm up to, but your parents live with you. Tell them about your problem. Maybe its something they went through at our age, and something they can give helpful ideas for. I didn't do that, and my depression lasted for awhile being a long time. Now I think about it, it would be a good idea. Or talk to your friends and see if they think you are acting diffrent. It would be a good idea to, because they can give you advice to, or being your friends do something to cheer you up.
Good luck,
TashiaGirl
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 1:04 pm
TashiaGirl I agree with Nariko. These are the early signs (and people should look at posts like yours!). By the sound of it you have nothing to be depressed about... but recently I went through depression. WHat you described is how I felt. I would talk with someone you feel confertabule with. Conselors sometimes take a long time to warm up to, but your parents live with you. Tell them about your problem. Maybe its something they went through at our age, and something they can give helpful ideas for. I didn't do that, and my depression lasted for awhile being a long time. Now I think about it, it would be a good idea. Or talk to your friends and see if they think you are acting diffrent. It would be a good idea to, because they can give you advice to, or being your friends do something to cheer you up.
Good luck,
TashiaGirl
Definitely talk to your parents (as if I haven't said that enough already). xd
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 2:00 pm
that sounds like what happens to me... any ways, what i do is i talk to that one friend that notices. and i keep a journal. i date it and put the time i start and finish on it, so i know what i was doing/thinking when and usually were. and i also listen to music that match my mood so i know that at one point, i wasnt the only one feeling like that. even if it feels like it. and i slowly start listing to happier music, not consiosly, but i start to realize i'm only listing to the same song just to listen to the screaming, so i move on to the next song and it is usualy just a bit happier. i do this untill i'm ready to move on with life.
sorry if that doesnt help, i hope it does.
~ heart ~
-dvn
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:02 pm
thanks again...On my own part, without reading all of your posts, I've told friends. They're working on it with me...thanks again, all of you.
the music thing seems like a good idea, but I don't know if it could work for me..I'll try some time..
Until another day,
[[my name is]] Kay. mrgreen
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Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 5:51 pm
I liked the music idea to. I never thought about that as a way to cheer myself up when I was going through depression! Well I listen to music all the time and I know thats what it can be used for but... its a good idea!
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Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 6:05 pm
*I feel a rant coming on... sorry I swear i have a point to this... just skip over the fluff, I actually just had to write a paper on this so I'm bursting at the seams of info*
Its a very strange thing to look at.. you can check the history books, and they all say the same thing... you could really only count on a few things. One of which were plagues... For example the Black Plague (and still no one seems to know what exactly it was... a strange strain of the Bubonic plague? Its highly possible... however that's not the point.)
In today's modern society (America were speaking) Everything has become Industrialized, we work to gain as much as possible, we become educated to try and survive in the highly complex world that we have created for ourselves. Its a dog eats dog world... and its highly stressing! In today's world there is a higher percentage of many things: depression, chemical imbalances that seem to only be cured by becoming highly medicated 24/7, divorce rates have soared, and Autism rates have exploded... you can catch my drift...
Perhaps its an environmental factor? Maybe all those pollutants that we are exposed to daily have finally afixeated the human race... What ever the reasoning is; it would seem that we are in a social decline.
From my experience it seems to me that most doctors just slap you with a label of "depression" and hand you a bottle of happy pills... Normally they are only fixing the problem for a short time, or they got it wrong and aren't doing anything. I urge you to talk to a consoler, a friend, or adult that you trust and feel comfortable (there is nothing more awkward then venting to a person who you don't feel at ease around...).
If you want to chat, I'm here and a very good listener.
Good luck!
~Ammié
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Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:58 am
that makes sense as well, Toxisity. 3nodding >_< so much stuff...I understand all of it, but I'm still not able to figure it out.
One of my RL friends that I told my situation to..he figures that it's because I don't fit in with my own group. They're all quite loud people..not afraid to do stupid things, or say stupid things around a group of people. But me on the other hand, I'm naturally quiet and I hang around with them quite a lot. He explained that I might be going through this because I'm afraid to let loose around crowds of people because I don't want to look dumb. sweatdrop He made sense to me at that time, but then I asked how come I'm at the library, which has a few people in it usually, and I'm the loudest one in there.? He thought for a minute and came up with the fact that I'm more comfortable with a small group of people rather than a large one..
I thought about that for a few days and came up with another fact. I'm in a small group(for a school program), and I'm still the quietest one in there. I figured, without asking him about it, that since I'm the only girl in that group that's why I'm quiet. I have no other person to open up to, except for one guy in there that I trust very much.
sweatdrop crazy assumptions, but they made sense to me.
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Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 4:12 pm
It seems to me that depression stems from someone being afraid to be themselves. In our society, anyone who is different and shows it is beaten down and laughed at. That's usually because that person allowed it to happen. You have to be proud of who you are. That's probably why I'm happy all the time. I accept my wierdness.
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