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| Have you ever called a person Bf/Gf before you got to know them completely? |
| Yes. |
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33% |
[ 5 ] |
| No. |
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66% |
[ 10 ] |
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| Total Votes : 15 |
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 Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 7:29 pm
I am here only to rant about something I have a problem with. And it is sure a life issue, matter of fact, everyone gets hurt because of it.
Too many of my freinds are strung up in these hopeless three day relationships because whenever they want to get to know someone they immediately call it 'love'.
I am started to get really annoyed. Why are so many kids around the 13-20 area so stupid? They get all worked up and attached to someone BEFORE they figure out if it is a relationship worth having? Plain stupidity, and it ends in unneeded heartbreak. Before anyone decides to discredit this, think about what would be a 'smart' way to start a relationship.
Not every try is going to work. But here are good people wasting their time slapping titles onto every factor of something. BF this and GF that and 'love' this and 'meant to be' that. Then they don't work out and boo-hoo-hoo suddenly the world is a cruel mean place. I might sound like an idiot, but wouldn't it be EASIER to work it out bit by bit? You don't have to even be in a relationship like Bf/Gf to get to know someone. Shouldn't you spend time with them, learn of them, THEN decide they will be your Bf/Gf ? NOT get together THEN learn? It saves trouble. No necessity to 'go back to freinds' if you never went farther then freinds in the 'learning of each other' stage.
I am sorta miffed about this because of a situation that arose. A girl had a young man stabbed to death when they got together and did exactly what I spoke of. They called the learning stages 'love' and gave each other bull crap titles, when they both got hurt, well...yeah.
It is sad, The words Boyfriend and Girlfriend used to be sorta serious, now they carry less meaning among teenager seeing as how any given week you could go through 8 or 9 Bf/Gf these days...It is really sad how ruined the relationship thing is these days.
To those who may have been insulted, I apologize. Merely opinion driven.
To those who have opinions, please feel free. I will try to reply.
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Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 10:23 am
i agree. it is really stupid not to know someone first. what i always ask myself is this: can i see myself with this person as my husband? if no, then i dont date them. if yes, or even maybe, then i might. that is how i tell if someone is worthy of dating me.
alot of people call me stuck up, shy, rude, wall-flower, and lots of other things, but im not! i am mearly looking for a serious relationship with someone that can be my best-friend, not always my boyfriend.
i think people are very confuzzled about these things because of how they act around each other. people will say "oh, i love this person soo much! but they wont date me! oh how can i live without them?" well if they hurt you, how can you still love them? or another one i hear is "i dont know how to act around my bf/gf!" well if you dont know, you obviously went into this thing too fast!
thank you mr. newtypephynix for bringing this up. i think we should let people know about this because alot of people we probably know are like this and we need to change them from there 'needs'. sorry, that was another very long post of mine... sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 6:43 am
I am sad to say that I am no longer really feeling the need to help. I see so many people handing themselves petty tiny heartbreaks, then complaining and pointing and saying "It's someone else's fault."
Example situation: Couple gets together before really getting to know each other, while getting to know each other, the female in the situation ACTUALLY meets and falls for another young man. This early couple splits. The male in this situation, who OBVIOUSLY knows it just wasn't working out anyway decides to point at the second man and center hate around him. Now there is going to be conflict and quarrel probably DAYS after the first man has already moved on forever.
If you are dumb enough to dive headfirst into a poorly planned relationship, frankly you deserve to get hurt. It is brutal, but guess what, so is love. You can't dive into love, you have to work your way there.
Bf/Gf isn't the first step. You shouldn't call yourself and your certain freind ANYTHING but maybe a 'love interest' until you know for certain you want to be pictured as official with that someone.
Q: 'How do I know if I want to be a real couple then?'
A: "You want to do this the simple way? Spend a month spending as much time together as possible, never let it go past hugging, talk about things that matter to you dearly, listen about things that matter to them dearly. If you come out and still like them as much, might as well try calling yourselves a couple."
I am not saying men and women need to put walls up, just take a good amount of time, AT LEAST a month LEARNING about the person you think you want to be with. THEN give a bit of yourself into it.
P.s.: I have noticed women rush into this more then men do to the fact around here they are the ones CONSTANTLY grasping to be in a relationship. If you are in school, You are better without. This is 18 years of experience talking.
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Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 8:50 pm
I have to say that I agree with every point the two of you made.
I have been in quite a few pathetic relationships and I guiltily admit that it was my desire to be with someone that drove my pseudo-relationships; not necessarily the person I was dating. This is the same with every other teen who claims that they "love my bf/gf sooo much but i dont kno how to act around them" - it is simply the fear of being alone that drives teenagers who have not yet matured into a poor and misconstrued relationship.
You also have to consider the way most children are brought up: they are brought up to be dependent on another person. Most adults in this god forsaken country have no idea how to raise an independent and self-driven child who will inevitably be successful on their own.
On a final note: don't always judge by age. Some teens are actually mature enough to maintain a successful and healthy relationship.
For example, I am seventeen and have been dating an amazing guy for almost two years now.
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Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 1:24 pm
I can't stand it when people do that..I wait usually 2 months before I ask a girl out, and it's hard to fond a girl for me. I found a few who would do, As in my acceptance range. What's stopping me?
School.
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Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 11:46 pm
what you have said so far are true. i personally believe in waiting it out before committing to a relationship. what i mean is get to know the person in time, not rushing it just so you could stamp a title to whatever relationship you try to attain. just coz you had a few talks on the phone, a couple hang out, holding hands, etc..doens't mean it warrants an official title. but i remember as early as middle school, kids would label gf/bf just coz you like someone and you "asked them out" or were asked out. as kids get older, they tend to know better and see the difference between a real relationship and a misnamed one.
for the love department, no age range could contribute to mistakes- coz everyone ,young and old, have claimed to have loved someone so much..and realize it wasn't meant to be after all. some are delusional and some are realistic. many get caught up in the moment and mistake passion in the moment as star struck love. it could happen..but soemtimes it's called "living in the moment..until it's gone". us humans can get spontaneous and it's in our nature. that includes 'love'..or what we think is love. there's no solitary right way to do it nor can we offer one correct advice for it. it's only a matter of: 'ok, this was what i felt, that was what i did, and this is what happened. now what?" it's what you learn afterwards that matters. you could choose what you want and risk what you feel, just as long as you're responsible for what's to come. and i live by that belief everyday.
lol, you'd think i'm a risk taker. but i'm not. i like to have fun and live life, but safely...haha..to a certain degree w/ caution. if you're curious about my story, you may ask me. i'm willing to continue, but i don't wanna waste my time sharing if it's useless. you know?
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Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 1:35 pm
Patience is a virtue. Too bad it isn't one well regarded among today's youth, seeing as everything happens a lot faster than it used to. My guess is that part of that speed gets to their heads, and impatience gets the better of them.
I suppose that's part of the reason why many jump the gun and begin pinning those titles everywhere, though I suspect it also has something to do with a certain idealization that goes horribly wrong.
Perhaps sheer naivety could be why. It tends to only happen in the younger set after all.
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