I don't want it to change, but it has to for the best.

[DvnT]

Ive posted about my friend before. Some know 'Bob.' Others know 'Jadi-chan.' And probably a few others this time Ill call her Jade. But weve been having issues for a while and I finaly told her I couldnt be her friend any more.

If you know the story, then you can probably skip the next few para's. Ill put an * when Im done.

Jade has been doing really stupid things lately, and she was my 'bff' for over 5 years and weve known each other for 6. We know more about each other then ourselfs. We couldnt live two days without each other.

Well, just recently, Jade started doing stupid stuff just because she "Wanted to." According to her. I know it was just major players in her life making her want to. She was doing things like cutting [she got over that], she told me she once took prescription drugs that wernt hers, she was acting like a ninja slut ninja [I hate calling her that.], and a whole bunch more. She even wrote a suiy [suicide] note about 3 months ago.

**

Just last Friday after school, I gave her a five page note basicly saying that either she stops this stuff, or Im not going to be her friend any more. I told her that a lot of other people want to tell her this [which they do] but are too scared of what it might do to her.

Now she's saying that she never wanted to be my friend, that I was a horrible person, and a whole bunch more about me that I can't stand. The day after I gave her the note, she sent me a pm asking if that was what I really wanted and I said 'yes'.

But the truth is, I want to stay her friend. I don't want to be against her. The best way to get her back to the real, safe, true her; is to break who she is now. But it's killing me because she acts like we never knew who eachother were, and she's taking away friends from me, and I can't tell any one I've ever known how I feel. I even wrote a poem for her, though no one knows it's for her. It's killing me to be strangers to each other, I don't want it to be like this, but I don't want to deal with her *stuff* any more either.

Like it says in my signature. I feel totally guilty and I want to stay friends, but I dont because I dont want to hold the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Should I try to make it up, later or now, or not at all, or ever???

 

[Fake Aorta]

I'm not sure if you're asking for help or explaining a major problem.

Either way..

*Looks around quickly, then embraces you*  

[shani26]

Wow that is really hart braking. crying I think you have the same problem as me. When you start to be really into someones life, you really want to help him so you try to take away their problem. If you try and fail you take it porsanly like you are the one who did the mistake.
I broke up with some of my friends over this kind of stuff, and we never got to be togther again. except my exboyfriend, we use to live togther. he had lots of trouble, i couldn't solve them. It made me feel bad. he wanted to get the next step and get maried, i put a stop to this.
Now i am alone, i am begining to solve my problems, he is still in the same place, more or less. Now i am willing to except it more. It took time, but we are still freinds.
Mybe you just need to be her friend, not best friend.  

[daggblu4]

shani26

Wow that is really hart braking. crying I think you have the same problem as me. When you start to be really into someones life, you really want to help him so you try to take away their problem. If you try and fail you take it porsanly like you are the one who did the mistake.
I broke up with some of my friends over this kind of stuff, and we never got to be togther again. except my exboyfriend, we use to live togther. he had lots of trouble, i couldn't solve them. It made me feel bad. he wanted to get the next step and get maried, i put a stop to this.
Now i am alone, i am begining to solve my problems, he is still in the same place, more or less. Now i am willing to except it more. It took time, but we are still freinds.
Mybe you just need to be her friend, not best friend.

in a way, that made sense. maybe you guys could be friends but not best friends.  

[Itchyboobers]

Just because you were friends with someone at one point in life - doesn't mean you have to stay friends with them throughout life.

Yeah it sucks.. but I found that sometimes you lose the common things that made you friends. There is no harm in moving on. Sounds like she is going in a different direction. Who knows - maybe in a few years / months she will come around. Never know.

Good luck & hope things work out for you.
(Sorry you have to go thru this rough patch.)  

[Nariko914]

The best thing to do is to discontinue contact with this so-called "friend" and try to get her some therapy. You need to let your school counselor or another trusted adult know about her behavior. She is on the kind of path that leads to huge issues later in life: she sounds like she's over-dependent on the attention of her peers, and that could cause her to rely on others later in life for things they can't provide (sorry if that sounds a little harsh, but...).
She appears desperate to either fit in or stand out, and her sudden change in behavior could be a clue to troubles at home or elsewhere. If talking to her and telling her that these changes are both alarming and upsetting has not changed anything and hasn't helped her or your friendship, the only thing left that you can do is find an adult who will either set her straight or get her into therapy.
Bottom line: this is not someone who you need as a friend. If you truly care about her, you need to get her help and avoid her until she recovers from her attention-getting phase.  

[DvnT]

Nariko914

(sorry if that sounds a little harsh, but...). She appears desperate to either fit in or stand out, and her sudden change in behavior could be a clue to troubles at home or elsewhere.... [color-darkred]you need to get her help and avoid her until she recovers from her attention-getting phase.

If I Don't Respond..

[Thats alright, I just hope she reads this....]

Her home life isnt the greatest, but it isnt hard by any means. She hates her step-dad at times, and I think its just jealousy [but she believes that its hate]. Though at times, she is almost loves him like her own father, especially when it suits her wants/needs. But other then that and not seeing her father for months at a time, her home life is hardly hard. She just blows things out of preportion.

She is in counciling with three councilers. One for depression, one for anger, and the school counciler. They dont really help much because she still bouts into temporary depression, and she doesnt even try to stop herself when she gets angry. Councilers don't help our school group at all much, other then cutting because we dont feel like getting yelled at for nothing.


UPDATE: Recently, she has almost accepted the fact that I don't want to talk to her again, but she keeps the idea in her head that I want to go to a church camp with her. How do I tell her that I won't go if she asks because we are no longer friends? She doesnt seem to take me seriously...

It's 'Cauze I'm Reading!

 

[SkysTheLimit3107]

`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.


*huggles*

Situations like these are really tough.

Perhaps you should Pm her explaining all of this to her? If she knew how you really feel, perhaps she would be more likely to give up her bad habits.


`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.

 

[hotangelictomboy]

i know hat you're going through. My best friend who now lives in another state was in the drug phase for about a year until she had a miscarriage. Then, she got into the drinking stage. but then she realized what she was doing was hurting the people who love her and she stopped.

maybe when your friend realizes what she's doing is wrong, she will stop. i hope it works out for you and your friend. good luck.