Divorce issues

[Chemicaled Roses]

Alright...my parent's got a divorce back in November of 07'. They broke up because they were both cheating on each other and my dad's married to the woman who he cheated with...I feel like an outsider to my own father. I asked him if he was married to her and he asked why I wanted to know. I have the right to know, right? I mean, he shouldn't be afraid to tell his own daughter that he remarried...right? I figure they're married or they're engaged because she has an engagement ring on. You know, the band with the diamonds all around it.

That really isn't the issue or anything, but it makes me feel like I'm not someone to be bothered with from my dad. I mean, throughout my whole childhood I noticed that he was physically there, but not mentally. His hobbies always came before family. And now that my parents are no longer together and I want to spend time with him and sleep over he tells me he's going to be busy every freaking Sunday I want to sleep over and that my choices are to go with him, stay at his place and be bored, or just go back to my mom's place. Like it doesn't even matter to him that he's loosing his daughters over doing things that will always be there. He pretty much lost my older sister. She doesn't care about him anymore...and I'm beginning to do the same.

But my real issue right now is that I've been going over there and now the pictures of me and my sister are all gone. There used to be school pictures of me and her on the fireplace mantel, and a picture of me and her when we were like five and seven in Christmas dresses which is now at my mom's place. I really don't know what to do. My aunt says that it's rude what he did and that I should ask for really expensive stuff. My mom asks if I know he took it down or did his woman. And the answer to that is that I have absolutely no idea.

He's also doing some shady stuff like asking my mom if he can start paying less for my child support.

I really don't know what to do.  

[Chemicaled Roses]

Sigh....  

[Garynook]

Just to let you know I have read it. I have no idea what to do in such an situation.  

[Chemicaled Roses]

Soul of Aqua

Just to let you know I have read it. I have no idea what to do in such an situation.

I thank you for that. But also a thank you for reading it and trying to help. :]  

[Garynook]

Chemicaled Roses

Soul of Aqua

Just to let you know I have read it. I have no idea what to do in such an situation.

I thank you for that. But also a thank you for reading it and trying to help. :]

No thanks needed Milady, the least I can do is refer you to the help guild. There will be more persons able to help you there and entry is free.  

[Wildflower-7]

First off may i say i'm so sorry this is happening to you and i'm sorry you
have to go through omething like this. it sucks. but i'm afraid i dont know
what to say other than my apologies. whatever your dad is doing is wrong.
but i dont know what i can say. so i'm sorry again and your family will be
in my prayers.  

[Evan After Death]

Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Lust, Pride, Envy, and Wrath...
Seven Deadly Sins...

Oh god I know divorce sucks. I'm sorry you have to deal wit this sort of thing. And I know sometimes just staying together for the kids, only makes it worse.

Alright main issues here. Let's see what I can do. I am going to be blunt at times, but that's because sugar coating things only hurts more ok?

You have every right to know what your father's marital status is. You are his daughter, he made you, he loved you, and you love him. A real parent never hides anything from a child or lies to them.

Ah child support, god that's a hard issue to. Now, personal experience. My mother pays child support, nearly $200, but not enough to sustain my dad and myself right? Well I come to find how hard my mom is struggling with bills, and stuff. They deposit $20,000 into an account and use almost all of it on bills. My father is raising child support, and I don't think it's right. He says it's because she makes a lot of money. Well yea she does but they don't see most of it. The point here is if your dad makes a lot of money, it's only him and this other women, with like easy bills..He has no right o skip that support. None, I don't care it's wrong. Period. But if he is having financial trouble, different story maybe?

The pictures..hmm. I'd say the woman probably took them down because she is jealous. Your father might not be there mentally but you are his daughter. He loves you more than her, and always will. She doesn't like that and wants him to love only her, her, he 24/7, only her. By moving those pictures she tears him away from you and wins his affection. It's a petty game.

What to do? I don't know. You should tell him how you feel, and show him th post you made. Show him how badly he hurts you, and his old family. He needs to know, very, very bluntly what he is doing. Don't shove it in his face and be rude. But sit him down, alone, somewhere with no distractions and just talk.

I hope everything turns out alright for you. PM me if you have any questions alright? It's a big bad world out there, but I think you'll be just fine.

How many sins does it take to get to the final layer of hell?
The world may soon find out...

 

[btrfly7]

I'm sorry you are going thru this.. I agree you should talk to him and tell him how you feel.. Good luck sweetie  

[dark_raez]

So first off, I completely agree with Evan After Death. Next, I'll do as he did and try and help you by explaining my situation.
Well, my parents got divorced in September of 1997 when I was five and my brother was one. My dad was really immature about it when we left and tried to take my brother, threatened to kill my mom, and completely ignored me when I was the one that love him the most. His foolish antics continued and he started to egg my Nana's house [where we were staying] and graffiti it on a regular basis. Now I am 16, my brother is 12, and my half-brother, Dad's other son, is 9. He still acts like he's in high school, and owes over $200,000 in back child support. His now ex-girlfriend, my half-brother's mom, used to hit us all the time because she didn't like the fact that we visited our Dad [kind of like your step-mom].

You do have every right to know what's going on with your Dad. You should be put first, and the new wife second, in my opinion anyways.

Child support, thank the gods when you get it, most people won't. [like my mom]

Pictures, she's jealous, plain and simple. She doesn't like the fact that part of his old life [you] is still lingering with him. More than likely, she's playing mind games, trying to get you to snap and yell at her first so that she can tell your father that 'you don't like her' and other stuff like that. Don't even acknowledge stuff like that, it will piss her off more because her petty tactics aren't working.

Finally, what to do about your Dad. I know it's hard to do, but get him away from his new wife and sit him down. Tell him how you feel and don't let him just brush it off as 'childish nonsense'. Honestly, tell him how bad he's hurting you and maybe he'll change.

That's about all I can tell you, sorry. Good luck! You can PM as well if you need anything, m'kay?  

[ladyshari]

First talk with your dad tell him how you feel..Other wise their really is not a whole lot you can do..Its between your parents.. Remember your parents love you.. Maybe even talk with the girlfriend..That might help also..YOur in my thoughts and prayers..  

[Rikku Takarai]

I'm sorry that you're in that predicament...

My parents are also divorced, and have been for a long time now, so I can understand that 'not caring' thoughts... just not nearly to that extent.
You should definitely tell your father how you feel about it, even though it may not be easy. Maybe he doesn't know the consequences for his actions...
No father should 'not care' about losing their children. If your sister already doesn't care, then he should know and be willing to at least take note of it, then action.

I also think that him not telling you about remarrying was wrong... I believe you have a right to know. If you do tell him, be sure to mention that too.
Maybe he doesn't realize his neglect...