I'm Losing Someone I Care About...

[XxXBleeding_RainbowXxX]

About a week ago, my boyfriend was in a coma due to a drug overdose. He'd done it purposefully because he's had a really hard life and all. After he woke up though, he'd become paralyzed from both legs, and he can't walk anymore. This has put him into an even greater depression and he feels as if I don't love him anymore. I tell him over and over that I still really love him, but his view of himself clouds my comments. I don't know what to do. I think he might be contemplating suicide again, but I'm not sure. I've tried to get him to see a psychologist, but he refuses. Does anyone know what I can do to help him? Please, I don't want to lose him.

Thanks,
~Asher

----------------
Now playing: Avenged Sevenfold - Afterlife  

[Garynook]

I'm very sorry this happened Asher and I guess that the best thing to do is to just keep talking to him and pushing him to see someone to help him, just do it in a soft way as too much may only aggravate the suicidal feelings. I don't know how his family is but if they care, try to talk with them bond together to help him.  

[XxXBleeding_RainbowXxX]

No, his mum and dad are just about the source of the problem and he hasn't any other family. I just don't know what to do about this.  

[Shuyajin]

This sad story is just another effect, caused by a nation who's all but forgotten about its inner will to exist.

At this point there might not be much you can do to help him.

But if ever listens to you, maybe asking him the questions that he should be asking himself could get through to him.

Its a longshot, but its worth it.

Questions like: What about my(his) life is so hard for me?

If things are really so difficult, why has it became like this?

How am I in retrospect taking the difficulties in my life and causing needless difficulties in the lives of people i care about?

What problems am I trying to avoid by taking my life?

What is it about life that makes it unbareable?


Questions like those, that may or may not fit, he needs to be asking himself.

I really don't know what else to tell you.

Best of hopes, and god bless.  

[Garynook]

xXMy_Wrists_Are_CryingXx

No, his mum and dad are just about the source of the problem and he hasn't any other family. I just don't know what to do about this.

Yeah I was afraid that was the case, especially since the two of you are homosexual, was the chance more likely that he could forget family support..  

[falling_to_fly]

If the parents are the source of the problems, that makes it really hard. My parents have caused me the worst pain in my life and it is really hard to take - being anywhere near my house or around them hurts me so much. This is hard because you don't know which way to go, and who to trust. Wounds take a really long time to heal, because learning to open up and trust again is really hard - especially if you've done so before and been slapped in the face. What you can do is be there for him. That's all you can do. Be there to hold his hand, laugh and cry with him, even when he says he doesn't want you there - he does, but he's probably so scared of hurting either you or himself. Even when he seems really bad in shape, be there. Ask him how his life is, and ask him is he is all right. If you think he's lying, look into his eyes and ask him to tell the truth. He may be evasive about it, but one of my friends kept on doing this to me when I was closed up and you have no idea how much it helped me - even if I did hate it at the time. Don't force him into anything, but just don't give up on him - you probably have no idea how much he loves you being there to tell him what he doesn't want to hear - he's worth it, you love him, etc. Although he may feel ashamed at the moment for hurting you or himself, he does love you and if you stand by him the message will get through in the end. So every day,
tell him you love him
tell him what you love about him
reminisce about one good time you had together
Ask him if he's okay
Look him in the eyes and ask him to tell the truth.
And most importantly,
tell him you forgive him. tell him it isn't his fault, you aren't mad at him, you'll stay. These are the words he needs to hear, the words that will begin to heal him. It is immensely hard to forgive yourself (you feel guilty about so many things that aren't true when you are crashing down) and to have somebody else forgive you, to take you despite your faults and mistakes, is a feeling that I can't put into words.
I really hope this helps in some way - sorry if it's a long post.
Good luck, and keep faith - don't give up on him, he needs you most at the moment, though he might not say it. heart  

[XxXBleeding_RainbowXxX]

Yea, thank you so much darling. I've been talking to him, but he doesn't seem to be listening or wanting to listen. Sometimes he fine and happy and then for some reason he just falls back into his shell again. I dunno, I guess I'll try talking more with him.

----------------
Now playing: The Used - Smother Me
 

[Garynook]

There is not much you can do then now. Just show him your love and guide him through this hard time.  

[XxXBleeding_RainbowXxX]

Yea, I guess that's what I'll have to do.