I'm having the worst time of my life. Literally. ..

[Seergirl]

I don't know what to do anymore. I hate school, and I feel as though I have no passion in life anymore. Everything is just screwed up. I mean to some of you guys, what matters a lot to me, might not matter to you so don't go insane and yell at me because I'm sick of everyone getting so frustrated with me.

So, I'm a junior in high school, and this is the year when things matter, but unfortunately for me, I've screwed up in so many ways, I feel that the only solution is killing myself. ALL of my grades have dropped, and i have a 78 as a semester average in PRECAL!!! It's going to bring my gpa down so badly, I use to be so smart, and now I just don't know what happened. If my parents see my grades they will destroy me. I just feel so alone in all of this. None of my friends care what happens to me and I just don't know who to talk to.
It's not only this one grade, it's just all of my grades, and my PSAT scores have gotten lower too. I try studying but nothing seems to work anymore. I'm ruined. I probably won't get any scholarships, and I probably won't be accepted into the school that i wanted to go to, and people will think i'm dumb, and I'll be a disgrace to my whole family. I mean I'm not great with people, and these grades were all I had, my one chance for proving that i'm not a nobody and now it's all gone. I'm ruined for life.
My Life sucks and it's not like I get anytime to get away from my hetic family life either.
I just need advice on what to do. I can't stop thinking about all these bad things that have been happening to me, and i don't know who else to go to. crying crying
So I need advice...please.  

[Gerbil_of_the_Vashness]

sweetie, you're HUMAN. you're not a superhero, you can't do it all. forcing yourself to have perfect grades will not make you a super brain, nor will it make you any more than you are now. you've cracked under presure that you're partially putting on yourself. take a breather, calm yourself down and just concentrate on just doing your best. things work out in mysterious ways if you give them time. as for your parents, if you're doing your best, then they have nothing to complain about. i'd hate to break this to you, but getting into the college of your dreams won't make you a better person, more of a person, or anything that you think it will. getting into the college of your dreams will be just that--getting into the college of your dreams. grades and the like aren't everything, and you've probably been pushing yourself way too hard.  

[holy alma]

sad I am at that same stage in life, i need to build confidence. Reading what you wrote i understand how you feel. if you want you can be my friend i can help you . Let your parents see your grades its better that way. The worst they can do is to ban you from having any real fun. My parents banned me from watching t.v , it doesn't matter anymore, at least i am online almost everyday and i meet a lot of people who are like you and me. Pm me if you want to be my friend and will like to study with me. I am not all that intelligent but two heads are better than one. P.S i am thirteen if you are wondering my age. lol biggrin razz smile biggrin xd  

[LavenderMintRose]

I'm living with false hope

And my eyes just want to see a ray of light

I'm gonna find it in my fairy tale...

I think if you stop worrying, you'll do fine.

You think a 78 grade is bad? I'm a high school senior, and I have a 79.45 average. And guess what? I got into my top choice college. And I got a scholarship. A big one. Yes, I did have better-than-average SAT scores, and a good essay, but the school I got into said they look at grades more than anything else. I also got into another school, and those two are the only ones I've heard back from yet.

It's also been proven that stress lowers your performance. I read this advice in a magazine, I haven't tried it yet, but I will the next time I get nervous. They interviewed a professional dancer, and she said that when you get nervous, don't try to not be nervous. Embrace your nerves, turn the idiomatic "butterflies" into energy to help yourself succeed.

As for the not knowing what to do, not having passion, etc., I'm in the same situation with that one, too. I'll also tell you not to worry so much here. When I was a freshman until halfway through mu junior year of high school, I felt like I was the only one who felt like that. I heard people in my school saying they wanted to be doctors all the time, and then I would go online and everyone here on Gaia as well as on DA would show off their amazing drawings and talk about how they've wanted to be professional animators since they were five years old. I'm still not sure if I ever really wanted to do art professionally, but I don't think I did. I really had no clue what I wanted to do. Then I had a few conversations with people like my guidance counselor at school, and my mom, and they pretty much told me that it's not only perfectly normal, but even better this way.

Take this example: My mom loved Shakespeare in high school and wanted to share that love as an English teacher. When she got to grad school, she became a teaching assistant, and hated it. She ended up going to law school and becoming a lawyer, something completely different from anything she pictured herself doing.

All those kids who want to be doctors are probably going to end up either becoming doctors and hating it (because I seriously doubt they realize what it's like to be a doctor on call in a hospital), or realizing that's not what they want to do with $100,000 in debt from student loans for med school already there. People who don't know what they want to do when they first get to college have it better because they are more open to new experiences. If they decide they want to be a psychologist, or history teacher, or whatever, they won't feel like all of their time will have been a waste.

I hope that helps at least somewhat.

 

[Phantasmagoric_001]

Don't take this the wrong way but...grades aren't everything! Just because your doing poorly in school doesn't mean your not smart. I'm in the same place your in. I'm a junior and my only good grades are in precal and english. The rest are pretty low but not failing, which is where I'm trying to keep them if not higher. I just have trouble consentrating. As for college, I don't see the real difference in them except for maybe different degrees. All I want is some place I can get a bussiness degree and open a coffee shop.  

[Seergirl]

Thank you guys for your help. heart
I really appreciate it. 3nodding

I've had some time to think and I realized that later on in life I'll probably look back at all this and laugh at how much I stressed out on something so small. I mean I put this sort of pressure on myself because of all the kids around me. I don't like all those kids that think they are so smart, and make other kids feel like crap just because we are not as capable as them in keeping the number up. But what do I have to prove to them? I mean most of the so called intelligent kids, you never hear from them again, not in the news, or out trying to make a difference in the world. They just end up being completely miserable, like Starre said, or making other people's lives miserable. I guess if I look at it from a more grand perspective it does make you wonder if those people are really worth being honored or respected. Because they only get a boost to their ego from the grades.
I think I'd rather mess up and learn to pick myself up again, then never fall and not know how to pick myself up when the worse does happen.

sweatdrop I guess I'm pretty bad at handling stress because I let it hurt me even more instead of just shaking it off and trying again.  

[LavenderMintRose]

Seergirl

I guess if I look at it from a more grand perspective it does make you wonder if those people are really worth being honored or respected. Because they only get a boost to their ego from the grades.

I'm living with false hope

And my eyes just want to see a ray of light

I'm gonna find it in my fairy tale...



They aren't, but thinking about that will just make you angry... at least, that's the effect it has on me.

 

[Seergirl]

Starre257

Seergirl

I guess if I look at it from a more grand perspective it does make you wonder if those people are really worth being honored or respected. Because they only get a boost to their ego from the grades.

I'm living with false hope

And my eyes just want to see a ray of light

I'm gonna find it in my fairy tale...



They aren't, but thinking about that will just make you angry... at least, that's the effect it has on me.

I guess, but I'm just saying, it doesn't apply to all. I know that, but there is that percentage. But it doesn't matter, it's just a matter of preseverance.  

[GothChick365]

Gerbil_of_the_Vashness

sweetie, you're HUMAN. you're not a superhero, you can't do it all. forcing yourself to have perfect grades will not make you a super brain, nor will it make you any more than you are now. you've cracked under presure that you're partially putting on yourself. take a breather, calm yourself down and just concentrate on just doing your best. things work out in mysterious ways if you give them time. as for your parents, if you're doing your best, then they have nothing to complain about. i'd hate to break this to you, but getting into the college of your dreams won't make you a better person, more of a person, or anything that you think it will. getting into the college of your dreams will be just that--getting into the college of your dreams. grades and the like aren't everything, and you've probably been pushing yourself way too hard.

you give good advice i need some advice PM me
PLEASE