Frustrated with myself.

[DvnT]

For no reason, I've just been really, extremely down. Like, little things that've never gotten to me before are starting to be amazingly annoying. I just feel left out, out of the loop, and all alone. I can see that no one else around me seems upset, heck they all seem like they just got the best news in the world it seems. So, looking at them, I feel I don't belong. Now, that's not why I'm frustrated.
I know that I'm loved, I just don't feel it any more. I keep thinking that I'm not good enough, I'm too fat, that no one should or will love me. All I ever feel like doing recently is sleeping or crying. I know this isn't good, and I know that some people love me, I know I shouldn't care, but it get's to me. Not as in a 'omg they don't like me' kind of way, but just as a general down mood.

I don't know what it is, but it's bothering me. Does anyone know what to do? Or why I might feel this way?
[It's not raging hormones. I don't PMS untill about the 7th or so.]

 

[minus infinity]

I would say you should talk to somebody about how you've been feeling, or even write in some sort of journal. Its okay to feel sad once in a while, but not every single hour of the day. And for me, something called a "affirmation jar" is really cool. Its pretty much an old jar filled with positive affirmations such as, "I am worthy," "My friends and family love me," and "I like myself the way I am." Maybe you could get one of those and pull two or three out before going to bed / sometime else in the day.
Also, going outside is actually proven to be helpful. Exercise of any sort, going to an amusment park, all of that can be surprisingly helpful towards mood / attitude.
Hope I was at least of some help. [: good luck!

 

[Virtus Fierkin]

I was in a similar situation not long ago. In fact, everyone I know has been through this at one point in there life, if not several. I'll tell you what I told a friend just yesterday, "Remember life has its ups and downs. Just remember that and it'll be easier to ride the waves."
And I wholeheartedly agree with the person who posted before me; journaling is an excellent thing to do. It helped me severely when I was going through my own problems, and going back I was able ot look and see where I was and what was happening at the time.... "Everything is illuminated in the light of the past."
I also see your a Christian??? As a Christian, keep in mind that the world is an imperfect place, and you will not always feel happy, no matter how good things are... But don't worry! There are seasons to life, and once you learn that, it's easier to cope with the down seasons.
Another good lesson from minus infinity is that getting outside helps. Get some sunlight! 10 minutes of sun makes up for 1 hour of sleep as far as energy, and that's not all...
If you need any encouragement or just a friend, I'm here on Gaia too! I don't have too many friends on this thing, and I don't trust a lot of people on here, but you sound like a good person.
Good luck! Don't ever give up!
biggrin
"7  

[cool4]

What everyone else said. It seems when you're not sure how to deal with all the bigger problems, (Assuming from what you've mentioned and ranted about before.) All the little things seem to bring a downer. But just remember the tunnel has light and think positively if little things like that don't help talk to someone.  

[DvnT]

Minus Infinity: I know that I'm loved and appreciated and everything, it's just that I don't feel it. I'm looking around and people seem distant, but they still say they love me and they need me, but they don't seem... here, you know?

Virtus Fierkin: I know very well that life has it's ups and downs, but I've always been just fine before. Right now, even, things arn't going great, but that is only bothering me as much as little things in life are as well.
I can't use a journal. I'll put why at the bottom, because that is completely unrelated. But if I journal, people find it. Every time. I've tried before.
It's winter, and winter in the midwest is cold, and there is very little sun. Plenty of light and air, but no sun, it's hidden in the clouds.

Cool: I can't talk to people, other then here, and that reason is also at the bottom of this post. But I've always delt with 'the bigger problems' how I'm dealing with this one. It's not like anyone ever teaches how to deal with possible loss of a parent or anything. sweatdrop

Why I can't let out how I feel to anyone I know personally:
I've always been the person people go to when their having problems. Like recently, my best friend in the whole world said that she wanted to move in with her dad. He lives hours and hours away, and she went over why and everything. I [partially] convinced her out of it, but I didn't bring up how it would hurt me, because that would hurt her. If I told people how I felt about this, they would hurt worse. Another friend needed advice for something huge, and she didn't tell anyone else, she came straight to me.
If I put anything down, if I told anyone, I wouldn't be the one people could count on, because they wouldn't know if I could handle it. I've comforted my mom even, when she was crying, but I didn't cry at all because it would hurt her.
See? If I let out half of what I feel, even, to anyone IRL, then they would only hurt worse, and that would make me feel bad. I just can't do that.

 

[cool4]

"My weakness is that I care too much" Papa Roach What do you do?

I think you need to come to a point where you say who cares about others it's only yourself that matters. Take a day where you ignore everyone. Keep quiet, Don't listen to anyone else. Soak in a bath tub, or what ever you can to relax. It might make you feel better.

Why do you need to be the one to work out everyone's problems issues? I think if you were open to them with your problems you would seem stronger in helping them in return. I'm a lot like you. I care about others and I don't want to hurt them more. But now I'm trying to accept you can't make everyone happy. Some have to get hurt. It's a sad truth, but you can't please everyone.


How do you know they wouldn't come to you for problems if you explained the details going on with yourself? I have friends that trust me a lot more then most people and we can still help each other. No matter how hurtful something could be.  

[DvnT]

One point you need to realise first: When I say my friends, I know that almost everyone of them as thought of or attempted suicide. Every one of them has been to the point where they thought no one could help them and they thought it would be better to cut them out of the picture. If I dump any thing else on any of them, it would only get worse. I have to be the strong one.
If I tell them that I'm getting down, either they will assume the worst -and I'll get my wrists checked daily- or they will be right down with me. I can't risk it. Then, if they think I'm depressed, no one will tell me their problems, and it will all start over.
If I tell my parents... They have enough to worry about, with money and jobs, Mom's medical stuff and Daddy wanting to adopt and all. I don't want to add to their problems either.

I just wish I could play hooky once. But I'm in the advanced classes, if I skipped, I would miss an entire lesson. Other then that, the day for myself will have to wait untill summer.

 

[cool4]

DvnT

One point you need to realise first: When I say my friends, I know that almost everyone of them as thought of or attempted suicide. Every one of them has been to the point where they thought no one could help them and they thought it would be better to cut them out of the picture. If I dump any thing else on any of them, it would only get worse. I have to be the strong one.
If I tell them that I'm getting down, either they will assume the worst -and I'll get my wrists checked daily- or they will be right down with me. I can't risk it. Then, if they think I'm depressed, no one will tell me their problems, and it will all start over.
If I tell my parents... They have enough to worry about, with money and jobs, Mom's medical stuff and Daddy wanting to adopt and all. I don't want to add to their problems either.

I just wish I could play hooky once. But I'm in the advanced classes, if I skipped, I would miss an entire lesson. Other then that, the day for myself will have to wait untill summer.

I have friends that are close to suicide. but they still will listen. But Yeah I guess you could wait till summer just block all calls and such and do whatever to relax. As for a Journal, Have you tried online blogging. It seems if you can rant here, without much trouble a blog online would also be fairly private. you can block off all the google searches for it and keep the website all to yourself.