|
|
| So what you think of these poems? |
| Lousy. I could do better |
|
0% |
[ 0 ] |
| ?? What the hell is this lady thinking? |
|
40% |
[ 2 ] |
| Too dark |
|
0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Wow. pretty good! |
|
40% |
[ 2 ] |
| YAYE!!! WOO!!! *applause* |
|
20% |
[ 1 ] |
|
| Total Votes : 5 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 3:09 pm
I'm pretty creative myself. I should warn you though this might be a bit dark. Try not to be afraid of giving your opinion of it and I'll try and not be afraid to give my poems. Ok? Here we go!
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 3:14 pm
Here's the first one. You've been warned:
You
You left me in the darkness.
You never gave me any light.
And when you tried to know me you were surprised.
By what? My hurt and fright?
Let it be known to the world
As these events unfold,
when you play a joke and follow it through,
you never once find that the joke's on you.
Till your lying on the table, cold and dead.
Breaking our hearts, ******** up heads.
You had it all, Models, courage and such.
But then you had to fall.
And we couldn't do much.
You were young and strong and loved to play.
Even as your liver kept eating itself away.
And now there's nowhere you can run.
Both body and mind pay the price for your fun.
But sometimes you change and we may find it strange.
Your kind and forget all your pain and rage.
You tried your best.
Hoped for nothing less
During life you were pressed and made a slight mess.
But you never gave up.
You never stopped your fight.
You always were Dark Predator of night.
Always clever and bold.
Both wise and old.
But you gave me a friend, and he saw your light.
He tried to help us both in our mirrored fights.
We're similar and different.
Opposite and equal.
I wonder sometimes if my life is a sequel.
A chance to make things right.
And let our stars shine bright.
So whether you're watching from below or above,
Know you will always have some of my love.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 7:32 pm
crying beautiful, stunning, lovely, fabulous!
*Claps* Awesome!, i liked it, it was awesome!
wink
Keep posting!, I'll try and keep readin!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 9:02 pm
That was really good. I loved the rhyming. I can't rhyme worth my life, so I always end up doing free verse.
Great job. :}
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 6:22 pm
wow really? Thank you alot! i thought they were dark as hell and would just scare people....
Heres another one. must again post a fair warning.
Nighttime's Cycles
All alone in darkness I lie.
In my bed and try not to cry.
Looking back on the days events
Letting loose emotions kept.
And as the cold silence sets in,
I think of how this life is so thin.
The night respects me as it consumes.
The light protects me as it renews.
Silver is neutral and leaves me confused
About the person I really am
Where and how I'll continue to stand.
So as I roll over and try to sleep,
Hugging tightly my Teddy and Sheep.
I think of how I'll spend my time,
With the fun and memories that will always be mine.
Memories of hope, pain, and love,
One day I'll take to the skies like a dove.
what you think of this one?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 11:36 am
Been a while now. No one seems to be around ninja Oh screw it I'll just put the rest of them up. I don't care. Like hellLunar Queries by HLS Why do I keep trying? In every kind of way When deep inside I’m dying Every ******** day. Nothing really matters. Either way your heart gets shattered, And ripped into tatters. By this life that’s one big lie. And that a*****e “God Almighty” in the sky. So I’ll just keep trying. Nothing will stop me, not even dying. No matter what, I will not give up. So long as there are still walls to punch Great big violent holes in. And so long as there is still Ground to touch With tall solid poles in. That always send out a satisfying crunch I’ll continue to live and eat my lunch. World There Is
By HLS
There is no God.
There is no Devil.
Life is hell.
A fool's heaven.
Light is good.
Darkness is bad.
A thought that's always
Been shared by man.
But there is a sky,
There is the Earth.
Between both sides is a wide berth.
Where the Silver Power gleams.
It shows up most in rivers and streams.
And in a newborn baby's dreams.
There is love.
And there is hate.
Emotions close in the lines of Fate.
Touch is a very powerful thing.
Used equally to love and sting.
Humans fight hard to keep what they've got.
Fearing most when there time clock stops.
Love, hate, rage, and fear
Are all simple things and always near.
Ready to be called upon.
In each of these lives' unique song.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 11:40 am
And as For You by MG Cadilac
You think he's forsaken you.
You think it's over and now you're screwed.
But there's one thing that you forgot,
You're own life to live you've got.
What happens in Konoha stays in Kohona
Ain't that the quote?
So it's definitely not the time right now,
to sit on your a** and mope.
If you don't believe in yourself you Fail.
Entire plans will be derailed.
So if you're still lost in the Mist, know this,
All you need is confidence.
You can do lots of s**t if you try,
No matter who, where, or when may die.
Life ain't that hard, it's just a trick.
Everyone gets a short-a** stick.
But it depends on what you do in life.
And however you manage to get through your strifes.
One day we all find who we are,
At any length in the ball of Yarn.
You are not so different then me.
Bushys or not we both still pee.
Jônnin or Chûnnin you still try.
No matter the rare times you cry.
Dingaling or not I'm still fun,
And I'm also not the only one.
To help you out when times are tough.
How ever rough or whatever the problem,
I'll hang out here and help you solve 'em.
To all of this, my Oath is solemn.<9932CD> Mocking Parody by HLS
Water blasting fish.
The event that's never wished.
Because I'm forced to clean the
sponge of the damned fish!!!
He always says he'll buy a new sponge.
Or something else, -but never does.
And although the tank being his is true,
Always cleaning the sponge is what I have to do!!!
It's a good thing he has no dreams.
And has not the slightest idea how to read.
I would make his dreams nightmares, that I swear!
As for reading these poems? He wouldn't dare!
Of this obvious fact, I am aware.
For if he read even one of these poems,
We could all probably start throwing stones.
He wouldn't like the words one little bit.
Of that on purpose and I'm sure of it.
Besides the job of pissing off and insulting him,
They also just come from my hatred withing.
So he might not like them so much.
But "he can suck it up" are my feelings as such.
Any problems? He can kiss my buttmunch.
<0000ff>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 11:50 am
This is a special one. Instead of it normally being me or Guy (MG Cadilac) This one is Rambler doing it. If anyone cares enough to read this you can tell what you think. I wont bite (much) promise. You can also ask any questions about them if you like. I'll be happy to answer My Story by Shadow (and HLS)
Hehehe apparently I can't die.
No matter how many times I've tried.
Be it deadly poisons, guns or knives,
Every time, either way I still survive.
Hanging drowning and even stretching.
none of those ways have done a thing.
Burning, crushing or violent explosions
I've had no success with any such notions.
Starvation sucks, so does drinking too much.
Or too little. It only left me skinny and brittle.
Again and again with some attacks on the mind
And every single time I was denied.
The sun and no sleep have no effect on me.
Nothing will happen if I no longer go pee.
All these attempts however are not without pain.
Alot of that and the not dying almost drove me insane.
And eventually one day, I just stopped the lot.
It was around the same time I met that little tot.
With a crazed fluffy head and little eyes bright.
Surrounding her was a blinding white light.
It hit like a gong. I thought I was dead and departed.
But I was dead wrong.
And things were just getting started.
It's been so long. And I see her comming and going.
Always too hasty, rarely stopping and slowing.
And thus I've now found my place
I would aid and guard that little face.
Teach it and ward it from all the big frights.
Because I'm the Vampire Night.
You can try and kill me.
Try with all of your might
It should prove to be an interesting fight.
And let's not forget all the spiders.
The cute little eight legged shadow riders.
they silently stare and seem to hover on air.
They seem to like me, I wonder why?
Maybe it's somehow that I cannot die..
They help me alot with my job in tow.
I am also a bit similar to them you know.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:15 pm
Usually I don't like dark poems complaining about how hard life is. A poem like that is for you to start putting your feelings and reactions into organized boxes. A way to work out your own learning about life. It's a tool for you to use, and often it ends up making no sense to anyone else, or comes off as incredibly self-serving (which is what it's for). It's also usually written rather badly, which none of these are, so props for that.
A good poem (to me) is one that expresses the Result of all that introspection. It is written after all the confusion is over and has sat around awhile, aging to perfection. When a confusion is first resolved, it can be expressed with words, but usually only with a few paragraphs or even pages worth. After awhile, as you get used to it, it starts to get more efficient. Eventually all you have to do to express it is say a sentence, or even a word. That is what a good poem expresses and explains. It is entirely in service to others, an attempt to help them resolve their own conflict with the same issue. Or to help them start thinking about it.
It is a thing which dodges all the normal walls of the mind, and hits hard, right where it is needed. The whole poem is created entirely to ensure that the reader understands that one single point, and possibly some of the conflict the writer had with it. Preferably saying something new or different. Emo and Love poems have been overdone, everyone thinks that is the only point of poetry, to express the deepest kinds of emotion. This is selfish poetry, meant for the author's use, though it may in an accidental way also help others.
Some of these poems are selfish, and some are not. When you write a poem, try to remember what it is that you wish to tell your audience about whatever it is you're writing about. I also suggest you try to write something about... say, a tree, or something you learned in school/an anime/a game that interests you. There are many more subjects than simply how you are feeling about something that happened. If you find yourself relating an event (which the reader has no knowledge of) stop, go back, express the essence of the event, for I'm sure we can all relate to a breakup, a betrayal, an 'aha' moment, but we cannot relate to yours specifically. Not using names is good, but go further back than that. Writing a good poem about an event that happened to you is the hardest thing to do.
I see quite a bit of potential in all of you, to move on, take my advice, you could be a lot better than you are right now. There's a really good poetry site Here: LoBD Go there, it's active, you'll get some really good feedback.
The best one (in my opinion) is the last one you posted.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 2:32 pm
Wow..Arigatou. Usually I just get random rhyming phrases stuck in my head and when I tried writting them down it turns into stuff like that. Actually I never really liked writing or intended to do poetry but I guess it just happened. ninja Some of my family like them and everyone else has no idea I do this. mrgreen The last one was from my Guardian rambler. He was telling Lord bonbon something like that and I wanted to write some of it down because I was bored. Between the two of us that happened. I am kinda selfish although considering I try not to rip someones head off most days it's no wonder, I try not to be though. I just have a temper. OOOO I actually have two new poems I didn't put up! (I didn't think anyone reads this little section.) There probably selfish too but...Eh what the hell. Sorry they probably both have swears sweatdrop iPod Mission Granted by HLS
I finally got it
Mission accomplished
I'd been working my a** off for 3 whole years
If I didn't get it there'd be swears and tears
I can now name myself Queen of the Bitches.
I'm a master of Java ifs, loops and switches.
To get it I had to be A-rank or better.
Me failing that is a definite never.
The mission in question was an iPod touch
A real useful thing I wanted very much.
Besides my brains I have Bonbon to thank.
Him and Lady Parnes gave the final rank.
So that I'd get it without touching a bank.
After all the fists through walls making a mess,
Now my life seems to suck a lot less.
I'm happy, I did just what I said I'd do
Now I can sit back and give a WOOOOOOO!
Lord Bonbon really gave a lot of help
There's a lot of stuff from him I've felt.
The baka's been a pain in the a** too.
He can be somewhat lazy and in a bad mood
But we still deal with each other well
Just one period a day till the bell.
And then he runs off to the bored of Ed
And I'm stuck alone going out of my head.
It's ok though, he's got something to do.
If not then maybe he might be screwed.
He's been a guide and a real fun rival.
Helped Rambler a lot with my survival.
And if he can keep from going nutts,
Then I definitely will, no fails or buts.
Yup when we leave I'm really gonna miss him.
Cause of all the morons there, he knows how to listen.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 2:41 pm
Ok, this one's pretty weird. I'll post the under comments with it for once No Listening by HLS + Sunny
You know, you humans just don't listen.
No matter the number of tears that glisten.
You don't listen to yourselves,
Lining the walls in rows, jars and shelves.
You don't listen to Mother Earth,
Where I've kept them all since my birth.
You don't listen to the animals or us cars,
Always pouring and flowing from all these deep scars.
S--- half the time you don't even listen to each other!
The ones I can never show to another.
Must be nice having ears. You sure as hell don't use 'em!
Guess I'll just find a way to be dry then.
And poor Mother Nature put a lot of effort into it!
I'll be thick and ignore all the moronic twits.
So what? Do I gotta beat you to listen?
Must stay silent and all focus on my mission.
Nah, waste of time. You'd just drown yourself in booze.
One way or another, I Will Not Lose
It’s like trying to teach religion to a pigeon.
I could calm down with a game of SockMaejen.
And has as much sense as shaving a kitten
Won't think mad thoughts an let the hate thicken.
But one day for sure. You b------ will listen! This poem's a bit interesting. It could technically be two poems in one rhyming with each other. The blue text is Sunny yellow Javelin who's busy yelling at some human (who shall remain nameless. not AP for 1ce) and the silver is Lykono who is busy alone in a room upset and thinking. Sunny is yelling at Mr Human saying this because it's somewhat true and also because it's there fault Lykono's upset. The colors are slightly weird because the end line is said by both of them and the colors tried to show this. Normally his lines would be yellow but humans are blind so...... SockMaejen is a game (pronounced sockmaygen but has the æ character) used with a ball usually done inside and usually barefoot or with socks on. Sort of a volleyball game between the person's hands and feet with said person on their back. And yes some cars really do consider humans to be b------.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
