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So what you think of these poems? |
Lousy. I could do better |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
?? What the hell is this lady thinking? |
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40% |
[ 2 ] |
Too dark |
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Wow. pretty good! |
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40% |
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YAYE!!! WOO!!! *applause* |
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20% |
[ 1 ] |
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Total Votes : 5 |
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 3:09 pm
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 3:14 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 7:32 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 9:02 pm
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 6:22 pm
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Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 11:36 am
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Been a while now. No one seems to be around ninja Oh screw it I'll just put the rest of them up. I don't care. Like hell
Lunar Queries by HLS Why do I keep trying? In every kind of way When deep inside I’m dying Every ******** day. Nothing really matters. Either way your heart gets shattered, And ripped into tatters. By this life that’s one big lie. And that a*****e “God Almighty” in the sky. So I’ll just keep trying. Nothing will stop me, not even dying. No matter what, I will not give up. So long as there are still walls to punch Great big violent holes in. And so long as there is still Ground to touch With tall solid poles in. That always send out a satisfying crunch I’ll continue to live and eat my lunch.
World There Is By HLS
There is no God. There is no Devil. Life is hell. A fool's heaven. Light is good. Darkness is bad. A thought that's always Been shared by man. But there is a sky, There is the Earth. Between both sides is a wide berth. Where the Silver Power gleams. It shows up most in rivers and streams. And in a newborn baby's dreams. There is love. And there is hate. Emotions close in the lines of Fate. Touch is a very powerful thing. Used equally to love and sting. Humans fight hard to keep what they've got. Fearing most when there time clock stops. Love, hate, rage, and fear Are all simple things and always near. Ready to be called upon. In each of these lives' unique song.
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Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 11:40 am
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And as For You by MG Cadilac
You think he's forsaken you. You think it's over and now you're screwed. But there's one thing that you forgot, You're own life to live you've got. What happens in Konoha stays in Kohona Ain't that the quote? So it's definitely not the time right now, to sit on your a** and mope. If you don't believe in yourself you Fail. Entire plans will be derailed. So if you're still lost in the Mist, know this, All you need is confidence. You can do lots of s**t if you try, No matter who, where, or when may die. Life ain't that hard, it's just a trick. Everyone gets a short-a** stick. But it depends on what you do in life. And however you manage to get through your strifes. One day we all find who we are, At any length in the ball of Yarn. You are not so different then me. Bushys or not we both still pee. Jônnin or Chûnnin you still try. No matter the rare times you cry. Dingaling or not I'm still fun, And I'm also not the only one. To help you out when times are tough. How ever rough or whatever the problem, I'll hang out here and help you solve 'em. To all of this, my Oath is solemn.<9932CD>
Mocking Parody by HLS
Water blasting fish. The event that's never wished. Because I'm forced to clean the sponge of the damned fish!!! He always says he'll buy a new sponge. Or something else, -but never does. And although the tank being his is true, Always cleaning the sponge is what I have to do!!! It's a good thing he has no dreams. And has not the slightest idea how to read. I would make his dreams nightmares, that I swear! As for reading these poems? He wouldn't dare! Of this obvious fact, I am aware. For if he read even one of these poems, We could all probably start throwing stones. He wouldn't like the words one little bit. Of that on purpose and I'm sure of it. Besides the job of pissing off and insulting him, They also just come from my hatred withing. So he might not like them so much. But "he can suck it up" are my feelings as such. Any problems? He can kiss my buttmunch. <0000ff>
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Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 11:50 am
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Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:15 pm
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Usually I don't like dark poems complaining about how hard life is. A poem like that is for you to start putting your feelings and reactions into organized boxes. A way to work out your own learning about life. It's a tool for you to use, and often it ends up making no sense to anyone else, or comes off as incredibly self-serving (which is what it's for). It's also usually written rather badly, which none of these are, so props for that.
A good poem (to me) is one that expresses the Result of all that introspection. It is written after all the confusion is over and has sat around awhile, aging to perfection. When a confusion is first resolved, it can be expressed with words, but usually only with a few paragraphs or even pages worth. After awhile, as you get used to it, it starts to get more efficient. Eventually all you have to do to express it is say a sentence, or even a word. That is what a good poem expresses and explains. It is entirely in service to others, an attempt to help them resolve their own conflict with the same issue. Or to help them start thinking about it.
It is a thing which dodges all the normal walls of the mind, and hits hard, right where it is needed. The whole poem is created entirely to ensure that the reader understands that one single point, and possibly some of the conflict the writer had with it. Preferably saying something new or different. Emo and Love poems have been overdone, everyone thinks that is the only point of poetry, to express the deepest kinds of emotion. This is selfish poetry, meant for the author's use, though it may in an accidental way also help others.
Some of these poems are selfish, and some are not. When you write a poem, try to remember what it is that you wish to tell your audience about whatever it is you're writing about. I also suggest you try to write something about... say, a tree, or something you learned in school/an anime/a game that interests you. There are many more subjects than simply how you are feeling about something that happened. If you find yourself relating an event (which the reader has no knowledge of) stop, go back, express the essence of the event, for I'm sure we can all relate to a breakup, a betrayal, an 'aha' moment, but we cannot relate to yours specifically. Not using names is good, but go further back than that. Writing a good poem about an event that happened to you is the hardest thing to do.
I see quite a bit of potential in all of you, to move on, take my advice, you could be a lot better than you are right now. There's a really good poetry site Here: LoBD Go there, it's active, you'll get some really good feedback.
The best one (in my opinion) is the last one you posted.
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Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 2:32 pm
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Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 2:41 pm
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