Anger Issues.

[DvnT]

I know I sound like a whiney teenager complaining about my sister and all, but just hear me out, please? And no, I'm not one to cuss often, so when I do here, it's trying to express how pissed I am.

Okay, so my sister gets on my nerves. A lot. And when she doesn't stop... I tend to get physical. I try to hold myself back, but she keeps poking, and going, and antagonizing me.
And then there are the people at school, the one's who're just pricks and jerks, etc etc. We all know them. The one's who arn't bully's, but they sure as hell are not nice.
And with my parents just being friggen' idiots so often recently, they think I am doing everything people are accusing me of when normally I'm not.

That's just extra explenation.

Now, when all of this gets too much, I hit people. I've squeezed my sister's arms untill she got bruises. I've bitten people. I scream and holler.
What can I do when this is happening to stop myself? I've been getting better at controlling myself, but... Today was just too much for me, I'm grounded yet again because of some stupid thing, so I can't get out of the house and cool down.
Help?

 

[cool4]

not much you could do, but ignore it. Being completely Selfish might be overkill but sometimes it's all you can do. Considers the option myself, it's a huge leap.  

[Bernadette Rachel]

I know this corny, but it does help. Have a sit down with everybody in the house hold. Like a family meeting and tell them what has been going on. If nobody listens to you then talk to your school consoler. Yes, it may seem lame but it helps and it's free. Talking is the best answer to every problem. I was like you when I younger and my sister bugged me, I pushed her into walls, beat her, locked her in the room with my snake. I may not know excalty what you are going through, but I have experience. So, my suggestion is talk. Oh! And if they don't listen to you tell your parents you are trying to be mature about this matter, they usually listen well after that.  

[Your WatchQueen]

I agree with the person above me, it realy works!  

[DvnT]

There's the thing, though. I can't talk to my school councelor -I'm scared of him, but that's another story for another time- and I've already talked to my parents about this. I've told them that I try to keep myself in check but they just won't listen. All they have to say is "Work harder, I know your sister's a pest, but you have to work at this too."
I've been struggling with this for years, and I've made a few threads about it in the past, but that is the only thing people seem to tell me is to talk about it. Talking doesn't help me! I've tried taking up active sports like Karate and such in the past as well, but I'd seen myself using those moves on people around me and forced myself to quit.
I'm asking if there is anyway I can calm myself down when I'm getting into a fit so I won't hurt people. I've tried the whole "Count to 10" thing, and ten seconds just isn't enough to let me get away from a situation. In fact, when they see me close my eyes and start to count they tend to make it worse for themselves.
I just need something to calm myself down, not a way to avoid these situations completely, because they are unavoidable.

 

[The_Cursed_Phoenix]

I say walk outside take a few laps around your house or if there's snow on the ground try digging a tunnel do something fun i have a problem simmilar to your's but i have to stop before i get pissed off because i black out and try to hurt them. but this is a temporary solution you need a permanent one i almost killed my younger brother when he pissed me off crying and trust me thats not what you want to happen.  

[Bernadette Rachel]

Do you go to church, if you do, maybe get involved with church activities.  

[DvnT]

Curse-of-the-Pheonix:
Like I said in one of my previous posts, I can't get out. I'm grounded untill Saturday, and to go outside I would need a jacket. The mornings around here often get to around -25`F, and we're lucky if we're in the double digits by the afternoon. And I know I don't want to kill someone, that's why I ask for help. Unlike you, though, I don't black out, I just end up loosing all controll.

Rachel: I am in church, but how would activities help me when I'm about to knock someone's teeth out?

 

[The_Cursed_Phoenix]

well i cant help you much more only thing more i can suggest is talk to someone i dont mean to offend you by this but a therapist might help i find they are really the only ones beside yourself who can understand your problem. i found a pastor fixed most of my problem i still black out but i regain control much quicker.  

[Bernadette Rachel]

Church activities will get you out of the house. I don't think your sister will be there. That way you are with other people.

I also talked to my sister about this and she told me that Karate is good but when it comes to anger kickboxing is better.

And I do have to agree with Curse here, if all else fails, a therapist. Just because you see a therapist as just someone to talk too, it's actually much more. They can recommend you to support groups that have activities with them to help people with anger problems. Get advice off of them etc.  

[SchizoSpazz]

ohhhh, i was there when i was your age, or at least living at home with my sisters. the worst part was that they got away with it because they were 'younger and weaker' than me (yeah right) it wasn't fair.  

[tea and coffee]

Exercise when you're angry. It helps me. If your parents won't cut you a break and let you go run around outside when you're grounded (or if it's too freaking cold,) just do jumping jacks in your room or something until you don't feel so angry anymore (which can be a long time lol.) If all else fails, hit your bed instead of your sister. At least no one gets injured that way, so the consequences aren't as bad. Hopefully your parents will see that you are trying.  

[tea and coffee]

I understand what you mean about the talking thing, it's the best thing to do initially, but sometimes the family meetings don't work and everyone doesn't end up on the same page. Then there isn't much you can do but try to deal with it yourself.