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 Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 8:40 pm
I feel trapped. Any attempt at trying to change, grow, and have friends is bombarded with restrictions and neglect. Every time that I try, either life has a way of slapping me across the face with bad luck or my parents decided to rip out my brain and heart and beat and rip it in every possible way.
I'm a senior in high school, and I'm going off to college. I had a job, but the people there never paid me on time or correctly. I drive a van, cause my parents didn't feel the need to get me my own car even though they make me run every little errand. I have 4 siblings, all under the age of 13. None of them seem to have a conscious. Everyday I wake up, I feel closer and closer in need of killing myself and giving up because NOTHING seems to work out for me. It's a torment everyday, and I feel like my own life doesn't even belong to me. I can't hang out with my friends, I can't go anywhere. I couldn't even go to the college I wanted to, and got kicked out of the house for NO REASON!!!
I try to explain my situation, but it's difficult because no one seems to understand.
My problem is I am an 18 year old that wants to be able to live her life on her own. I want to be able to make my own decisions, rely on myself, and not have to be pestered and brought down by my family who don't care about me AT ALL! I mean I've always tried my best to be a good kid, and stay out of trouble, but for some reason they just don't seem to care that I try so hard to keep everything together, but no one seems to care. I bring it up, I'm just ignored. Logic and reason is useless under tyranny.
I wanted to be a doctor, but I can't because I don't have a job, money, or any self esteem or drive to able to do so because I just get so frustrated with everything!!! I don't have anyone to talk to about it, and I know my relatives won't help me because they are selfish too.
I need help as to what to do because as of now I'm stuck going to a community college, and living in a house where I feel like I'm suffocating...I just I don't know anymore...each day just seems to get heavier and heavier....
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Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 9:10 am
A few things.
You're parents (at least your mother) will always care about you. You're getting sad over something that people way younger than you go through every single day. Think about it, you have 4 kids, all younger than 13? can you imagine trying to feed that many mouths? Can you imagine trying to keep that amount of children satisfied? They probably don't have enough money for a new car just for you. Suck it up, they need to care for all their children. and on top of all the little kids who don't know better, they have a whiney, rebellious 18 year old. You're making yourself stressed. You need to suck it up and help your family, don't expect them to give you a freaking car just becasue you went to go pick up milk from Kroger.
And be nice to your little siblings, they can't help it, they don't know any better. And your parents aren't trying to hurt you, their trying to get control and less stress.
Don't kill yourself, that is STUPID, SELFISH and PATHETIC.
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 10:53 pm
Before I go off screaming into a rant, I should acknowledge that this thread is a little old, and so I'll just say that if you need to talk I'm at least here. <3 I read somewhere (well, no, it was a chain mail thing) that 'at least one person thinks of you before they go to sleep at night.' Chain mail or not, I believe it and think that it's true. There will always be at least someone who cares about you, don't ever forget that.
-Infinity heart
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