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Reply "ALI" Advice for Life Issues
Moody Boyfriend. Is it My Fault?

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Persistence_of_Memory

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 12:56 pm
I've been seeing my boyfriend for a few days shy of four months.
I met him at college. I live two hours away from the school, and while he's from the town surrounding the school. I have to be at home this summer, so I am now two hours away from him.

I work part time and have no car, and he works full time and is in the process of fixing his car, so it's very difficult to see him.

My last relationship ended very abruptly and traumatically, and although I feel like I should have gotten over it by now, I seem to have had a rather difficult time doing so. This wouldn't be too related, but for the fact that I am now afraid to ask my boyfriend to skype or come visit me because I feel like I'm nagging him, and that will make him leave me.

Recently, my boyfriend has been communicating with me less and less. The past few days, it has been difficult to get him to facebook chat, text, or skype. I last spoke to him two nights ago when I tried to send him a photo over facebook that he couldn't open. He then logged off and sent me a massage that said, "This is what I get for living."
I'm not entirely sure what happened, but I suspected computer problems, so I sent him back apologizing for potentially messing up his computer with the photo, told him good night and that I loved him, and went to bed.
The next day, it was difficult to get him to respond to text messages. He seemed to be in some kind of bad mood, since he was giving me only one-word responses. However, I stayed paranoia saying he must have been busy.

Yesterday, however, he continued to be a little snarky. I told him to cheer up and that I loved him, to which he responded, "I don't need cheering up."
I then apologized.
I haven't heard from him since.

Although he has a history of being moody, especially over the summer when he has little to do but work, I'm extremely concerned that he has now almost completely shut down. I worry that I've done something to cause his mood, although I can't begin to guess what it could be, other than perhaps maybe clinging too hard?
We never really had a problem before, although he has always been somewhat moody and introverted...
I just worry that he's going to leave me, and I really don't want him to. I do have very strong feelings for him, and I would be willing to work out any problems we have in order to make him more comfortable...

Any advice would be very much appreciated. I am highly insecure and inexperienced...
 
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 1:19 pm
Long Distance even just 2 hours a way is hard. You should probably just assume he's really busy, and try not to nag him too much. Maybe arrange to meet him for a weekend when you're both free.

Text messages often leave the impression that people are angry since you tend not to type full sentences or words, so he's probably not in as bad as a mood as you think. But there's really not much you can do unless you spare a weekend to see him, or catch him on the phone.  

cool4

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Persistence_of_Memory

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 6:01 pm
cool4
Long Distance even just 2 hours a way is hard. You should probably just assume he's really busy, and try not to nag him too much. Maybe arrange to meet him for a weekend when you're both free.

Text messages often leave the impression that people are angry since you tend not to type full sentences or words, so he's probably not in as bad as a mood as you think. But there's really not much you can do unless you spare a weekend to see him, or catch him on the phone.


I hope that's the case.
Thank you so much for the advice...it's very reassuring.
 
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"ALI" Advice for Life Issues

 
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