I feel better now tho I was not feeling good at all about 3.5 hours ago (11/25/2015 @ about 5PM PST). I actually was so pissed off that I am so glad I'm not a violent person because I'm pretty damn sure that if I was a violent-type of person that I'd be in jail right now for attempted murder. My mental health program hasn't been helping me much at all and it's against the rules for them to help me by keeping some of my stuff at the program. Anyways I have too much possessions to carry around with me at all times and they finally got fed up with me going behind their backs and keeping my excess stuff at the program. They told me that whatever I didn't take with me would be thrown away and well I couldn't carry it all with me including the bulk of my clothes. So I was pretty angry over that and the nurse of the program ended up setting up a compromise that they'd hold onto my clothes and I agreed since I was able to carry all the rest of my stuff in my 2 backpacks (1 huge camping backpack and 1 regular backpack). Having been calmed down from that and most of my anger subsided I was about to leave when the program director decided to overturn the arrangement that had just been made. That was the brick that broke the camel's back so to speak. I flew into the most intense rage of my entire life at that point and well ended up having to leave most of my clothes at my program where they are likely to be thrown away unless the director changes her mind. I am so glad that I was able to talk to my friend Rita about this over the phone to help calm me down because I'm was so angry that the only way I can describe it is by what I said above about how it was so intense that I would've ended up attempting to kill her if I was the violent-type of person that would do something like that as a result of such intense pure concentrated rage. Well anyways for the most part I'm feeling better and I hope that my clothes don't get tossed out like I begged the other staff to not do as I was leaving my program 3.5 hours ago (11/25/2015 @ about 5PM PST).
Me too. I am actually still passively rather really pissed at my program right now. I just hope it's enough for me to be to follow thru with reporting them to the Orange County Mental Health Association and to file a grievance with the parent company that runs the program.
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