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Posted: Sat Apr 13, 2019 12:39 pm
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Posted: Sat Apr 13, 2019 3:10 pm
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Posted: Sat Apr 13, 2019 4:48 pm
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Posted: Sat Apr 13, 2019 8:52 pm
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Posted: Sat Apr 13, 2019 10:04 pm
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I like to spend time with my friends and family, discover more about myself, and learn new things. I don't really get to do that at work. Sure, the money is nice, but with so many hours and customers vying for service, it makes me feel like I'm losing myself and my humanity, my soul, to the needs and wants of others (becoming a machine). I don't ever want to lose sight of what's important and dear to me.
I... felt that emptiness before, felt like a hollow shell of likes and dislikes without a soul. It isn't fun. It's... painful... scary... I didn't trust myself. I would see me, doing things I would never, ever want... to me... to others. Those mental images terrified me. I vehemently denied and fought them with everything I have. Those mental images aren't me. That, I came to realize.
I've learned to trust myself after getting help. I've been recovering, getting better, though sometimes I feel like this job could swallow me whole and ultimately leave me utterly alone. sad
I live at home, with my family, so I'm not hurting. I don't have to worry about supporting others or paying utilities, although I realize I need to take more responsibility as an adult. sweatdrop
That said, the most important thing in life to me isn't money. It's love. It's friends, family... the connections and memories you make...
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Posted: Sun Apr 14, 2019 10:59 am
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Posted: Tue Sep 10, 2019 9:26 am
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