The Steam Spring Cleaning Challenge

[A Skepty]

For those of you using Steam, they're currently running a "Spring Cleaning" event! It's not a sale; it's just a fun incentive to try some games in your library that you haven't played in a while, or maybe ones that you've never played at all (as somebody who has accumulated 300+ games over a decade, this speaks to me). I'm not doing a whole lot this weekend, so what the heck? I'll give it a go, and report my findings.

And if you want to make sure I'm being honest, here's my Steam account.

Day One

Speed Clean
Try a game that will be available to play for free throughout the event
Game choices: Endless Space 2, Grim Dawn, Don’t Starve Together, Dead By Daylight, Black Desert Online, Assettocorsa, Left 4 Dead 2
Selection: Left 4 Dead 2
Reason: Why Not?

Maybe picking Left 4 Dead 2 was a bit of a cheat, since I have spent many hours playing both L4D games, but Steam didn’t tell me I couldn’t, and this was before I decided I was actually going to try doing this challenge legitimately. I decided to try a Mutation (a special ruleset) called Last Man On Earth, which puts me into a single player game with no AI bots and no common infected—just the specials coming after me. I picked Francis as my character because he was obviously the most suitable choice, and I loaded up the Crash Course map.

I did pretty okay until the Tank showed up on the bridge with all the parked cars on it. He slapped one into my face and incapacitated me. Well, on to the next game then.


Spin Cycle
Steam selects some random games
Game choices: Amnesia The Dark Descent, Ori and the Blind Forest, Tales from the Borderlands, Orcs Must Die!
Selection: Orcs Must Die!
Reason: Dislike the horror genre (Amnesia); completed Ori recently; would play Tales again on my own

I picked this game up sometime around its release in 2011, played a few levels, then got bored with it. Though there is some third-person action, it is largely a tower defense game, which is a genre that got absolutely flooded by same-y flash games back in the late ‘aughts. I wasn’t even into tower defense then.

But I played through the opening levels of this one, and I have to say, I kind of enjoyed it. Maybe there’s something inherently sadistic about setting up traps and mowing down an onslaught of orcs, but even with a well-thought-out selection of traps, the waves stay frantic and fun. If I had one criticism—and maybe this is something that gets sorted out in later levels, or just a fault with my playstyle—I don’t feel like you get enough resources to cover much of the pathway with traps. Most of my fighting gets done at a single chokepoint, because you are encouraged to combo traps, but you can’t afford to place down a lot of traps. That means there’s also a HEAVY reliance on the player to stall the advance.

Regardless, I’ve enjoyed revisiting this one; it’ll be a good one to jump into if I just need a quick game fix.


Clear the Backlog
Play a game you own but never played
Game choices: Oh, too many
Selection: The Last Remnant
Reason: Meant to play it for a long time, could never bring myself to do it

The Last Remnant is a Square-Enix RPG from 2009. Aside from Pokemon, I have little love for turn-based JRPGs; I find the gameplay repetitive, the stories convoluted, and grinding a chore. However, I got the impression that this title wanted to try something different to get away from the Final Fantasy formula. For that reason, I’ve come very close to installing it many times before, but that nagging doubt kept me away. No longer.

Here is what I can glean about the battle system from one hour of gameplay that was mostly spent watching cinematics: it’s still turn-based, but you don’t necessarily give orders to individual characters; rather, to “units” of up to five. Battles take place on a square plane, and units on both sides have to move toward each other to engage. This means that battle lines shift over the course of combat, and you have to consider unit positioning; you might be able to intercept an advancing enemy unit, or flank another that’s currently deadlocked with one of yours. There is also a “morale” meter that shifts depending on which side is making clever moves, and maintaining the higher morale will buff that side’s stats.

This system is probably intended to facilitate large-scale battles; you do get to experience this in the game’s open, although annoyingly, only for a single turn. I don’t know that it’s really suited to smaller fights that you would see in the early game, but in fairness, I’ve only had about three “honest” combat encounters that didn’t have story-related mechanics (like a boss monster, where both sides dodged attacks until the story forced me to take an option to auto-kill it).

Outside of that, I think the dialogue is a bit hammy—no surprise—but it gets a pass because the voice acting is surprisingly well done. A lot of effort was put into animations, too; overall, the game looks rather polished for being a decade old. I’m starting to regret not giving this game any attention back in the days when I had the time to do so, because I would like to give it an honest try.  

[A Skepty]

Project (to do at any time): Blast from the Past
Play the first game you added to your Steam account
Game choices: Counter-Strike, Counter-Strike: Condition Zero, Counter-Strike: Condition Zero Deleted Scenes
Selection: Counter-Strike: Condition Zero
Reason: See below

Ah, here it is: the creation of my Steam Account. It's fall of 2006, and I was living in a dormitory. I didn't really socialize with the other guys on my floor—I barely associated with my roommates at that—but nevertheless, the nightly Floor 2 Counter-Strike LAN parties were open to all who wanted to join. Just hop on the server, throw open your door for trash talk, and away you go. The hallways would be filled with the sounds of gunshots and profanity.

Counter-Strike came in a three-pack: You got the original game, the Condition Zero game with gameplay improvements, and the Deleted Scenes extra, which was actually a collection of single-player story missions, rather than a multiplayer game. As an on-rails shooter, it was fairly bland, but it did give me one of my all-time favorite gaming lines. Oh man that laugh is bad.

However, I decided that the Deleted Scenes didn't count for this; I would have to play the game as intended. Now, that doesn't mean I actually played multiplayer, ha ha, don't be silly. If people are even still playing this old version (I probably should have checked this), then their skill level is going to be far better than mine. And since death means you have to sit out and wait for the round to finish... I expected a lot of downtime, and I just didn't want to do that to myself.

Nah, here's what I did: Condition Zero also has a single-player mode. This time it's basically the same multiplayer experience, but with AI bots, and you always play as the Counter-Terrorists. However, there's a little more to it than that. Each level has a few challenges for you to complete (kill X enemies, kill an enemy with X weapon, finish a round in X time, etc). You also have a selection of "points" you use to select your team. Each teammate has ratings in Skill (how good they are at shooting), Co-Op (how likely they are to work as a team), and Brave (I guess how prone they are to sitting around and camping?). You get more points as you progress, allowing you to select higher-leveled teammates. Protip: Pick up Maverick at level 3. He has High in both Skill and Brave—which makes him god-tier—at the expense of a Poor in Co-Op. There is no chance he won't run around and do his own thing, but him running around and doing his own thing often results in him single-handedly winning the game after the rest of your team bit it early on.

Speaking of which, I remember spending a lot of my time on this game dead, watching the rest of my AI team bumble around, trying to win the match by themselves. Maybe I've improved, because I did not experience this problem half as badly this time through. I wouldn't say I was good; I might say that I was decent, or playing on an easy difficulty level.

Overall, if you don't want to play Counter-Strike with actual people, because actual people are awful, I think this is an acceptable alternative. But I do have to b***h at my teammates for ALWAYS waiting for me to defuse the bomb, even if all the terrorists are dead and I'm half the map away. My exploded blood is on your hands, assholes.  

[A Skepty]

Day 2

Speed Clean
Try a game that will be available to play for free throughout the event
Game choices: Endless Space 2, Grim Dawn, Don’t Starve Together, Dead By Daylight, Black Desert Online, Assetto Corsa, Left 4 Dead 2
Selection: Assetto Corsa
Reason: I can just get away with doing a race or two

I thought that Steam was going to update the available titles to play daily, but I guess it’s just these seven. Oh well.

Anyway, I played this for fifteen minutes, and here’s what I learned: don’t ever let me drive a Lamborghini. It just… it won’t end well.


Spin Cycle
Steam selects some random games
Game choices: Left 4 Dead 2, Amnesia The Dark Descent, Trine, Fallout New Vegas
Selection: Amnesia The Dark Descent
Reason: Damn it Steam, I played all those other ones.

Uuuuggghh fine I’ll play Amnesia.

For the best experience, you are expected to put on headphones, play in a dark room, and immerse yourself into the role of the character you’re playing. Well, I did the headphones at least.

The reason I don’t associate with horror media is not because it scares me. The exact opposite, really; I can’t bring myself to buy in to whatever world that is being served. Nothing is frightening; at best, it might be stressful or disconcerting.

The hour of Amnesia I played did not break the mold. I do need to acknowledge up front that the game has creepy horror monsters that you need to evade, and that in my hour of playtime, I only encountered one—and for a total of three seconds at that. It is entirely possible that I’ve not truly cut to the meat and potatoes of the game yet.

I do like the concept that light is literally life, and it only exists for you in finite amounts. You can carry a lantern, but it drains oil; you can also light candles and torches and such, but these require tinderboxes, and these fixtures remain stationary. You will regularly have to decide whether it is better to keep the lantern lit, spend a tinderbox to light a candle, or suffer the sanity hit of being in the dark. That’s a premise that holds up even without creepy ghoulies haunting around.

I know Amnesia is a pretty well-known title for those that like horror games, and I’m glad I got the opportunity to experience it for myself a little bit. I think it is probably a really good, well-thought out game. It’s just also not for me.


Clear the Backlog
Play a game you own but never played
Game Choices: Again, many
Selection: Ether One
Reason: Wanted something calm after playing Amnesia

I don’t know what to say about this one yet. Ether One is what some might consider a “walking simulator”, but it seems as though the places you walk through are, in fact, memories that belong to a dementia patient that is undergoing some sort of experimental extrasensory treatment. I’m not sure I entirely understand the details, but the locations you explore are vivid and compelling, so I have to give it that. I do want to continue playing it, and I probably will. But by nature, it IS supposed to be a little mysterious… and so I don’t have very much commentary I can provide for now.

Kind of a bummer way to round out Day 2.  

[A Skepty]

Project: Trusted Friend
Play a game recommended by a friend
Game choices: Portal 2, Bastion, Her Story, Remember Me, Half-Life 2, Zeno Clash, Counter-Strike: Source, Bioshock, Space Rangers 2
Selection: Zeno Clash
Reason: Played all the other ones

I don't know if any of you have any of those friends who are good people, but they're a little weird, and they play weird games. I have one of those friends, and sometimes he gifts me weird games that I don't end up playing because I'm a bad friend. Zeno Clash is one of those games.

...Also, you know how there are some games, where one person is given a little too much control over what the game is? Zeno Clash is also one of those games. Here's what I gathered in about 45 minutes:

You live in a tribe, or at least you did. Now the other members of the tribe are coming after you (it's implied they might be family, but some of them are humans with bird heads, so I'm a little skeptical). You go around the swampy-desert-style world and get into brawls with them, and other things. Gameplay is first-person, mostly hand-to-hand combat (though you get weapons sometimes), which emphasizes moves like punches, blocks, dodges, etc. It works... okay. My biggest gripe would be that attack distance does not seem very consistent; I need to stand up against an enemy for a weak punch to hit, but I can hit a guy with a sword about ten feet away. Also, I would venture to say the game might be a bit on the easy side.

*smash cut to ten minutes ago when Skepty set the game's difficult to "Easy"*

Anyway, it's odd, but I kind of liked it. And the protagonist says "Why not?" at one point, so, you know, +5 points.  

[A Skepty]

Day 3

Speed Clean
Try a game that will be available to play for free throughout the event
Game choices: Endless Space 2, Grim Dawn, Don’t Starve Together, Dead By Daylight, Black Desert Online, Assetto Corsa, Left 4 Dead 2
Selection: Black Desert Online
Reason: ...Shrug?

This task is starting to get painful.

Black Desert Online is probably best-known for its detailed character creator. I like character creators, so I thought I would try it.

First thing of note: Gender is locked by character class. Okay, that’s not a promising start, but let’s continue on.

So… yep. You can create a character. The face in particular is split up into more regions than you know what to do with, and you can adjust each one as you desire. Protip: you can click and drag on the face, but don’t do this. Just use the sliders. The sliders work better.

There were quite many options for eyes, makeup, and default expression, and as many colors as you could ever want for all of them. Only about a dozen hairstyles to choose from though, because of course. Also, I’m not sure if it was just me, but I think my character’s head came out looking a little small somehow.

And… yeah. I watched some NPCs talk to each other, and I fought a couple foxes. I didn’t really feel like doing anything else after that, because I just felt overwhelmed with everything. I was already feeling overwhelmed by the time I was finished with the character creator, and then I was thrust directly into a plot I didn’t care about, and the world around me was very flashy at the expense of being readable, and I had a little black shadowy thing yelling at me, and I still don’t know what pressing Ctrl and then right-clicking on a thing actually does but I was told to do it about five times. Anyway, the point is I’m old and I don’t want anything in my life that’s more complex than a pair of socks.


Spin Cycle
Steam selects some random games
Game choices: One Finger Death Punch 2, Tomb Raider, Gorogoa, Machinarium
Selection: Gorogoa
Reason: Maybe I can finally figure out that puzzle I got stuck on months ago.

This one’s a mind-bender. It sounds easy on paper: you have up to four images/scenes, and you to solve puzzles by figuring out how those scenes interact with each other. Just… go watch the trailer, I can’t justify it with words.

To make a long story short, I’m an idiot for missing a pretty obvious detail, but I did finally figure out that puzzle.


Clear the Backlog
Play a game you own but never played
Game Choices: Many
Selection: Race The Sun
Reason: Honestly, I knew I could hammer it out quick

I like the concept behind Race The Sun. You pilot a solar-powered craft, speeding toward the sun as it slowly sets below the horizon, desperately trying to keep power flowing despite various objects casting shadows and serving as obstacles. There are items you can grab for points, boosts, shields, or jumps, though I’ve found these can be difficult to collect unless they just happen to be in your path. And that’s the game. It’s small, it’s simple. I believe the levels are automatically generated daily; you can try to spend a day mastering a course, but I think it’s better if you just play a couple of times, then move on to something else and come back later.  

[A Skepty]

Project: Can't Wait
Play a game you purchased within the last 6 months
Game choices: House Flipper, Stellaris, One Finger Death Punch 2, Crusader Kings 2, Total War: Three Kingdoms
Selection: Total War: Three Kingdoms
Reason: It came out last Thursday, I was originally planning on playing it all weekend.

I don't really play Total War games. I just like the Three Kingdoms time period.

Project: Tag Contributor
Play a game that uses a tag you've applied to another Steam game
Selection: Oxenfree

I don't use Steam tags, so I'm cheesing this one. Play Oxenfree, it's good.  

[A Skepty]

Day 4

Steam didn't refresh my list of games or award me credit for playing any following the expected rollover at 10am PDT, and I could only complete the challenge by launching all the games I needed one after another right at the end of the day.

...TECHNICAL VICTORY! sweatdrop  

[Zphal]

Officially Skepty

Day 4

Steam didn't refresh my list of games or award me credit for playing any following the expected rollover at 10am PDT, and I could only complete the challenge by launching all the games I needed one after another right at the end of the day.

...TECHNICAL VICTORY! sweatdrop

rofl