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 Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 3:18 am
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Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 6:42 am
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Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 7:49 am
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Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 9:20 am
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Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 10:59 am
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Chazzzzz zentlair My goodness! If my husband were to ever "fraternize" with a girl like that, he would be slapped up every direction sideways and silly. But he knows that. My best advice is spill the beans like you've never spilled them before! This has always worked for both my husband and I when we talk to one another. Everything you just said her? Tell her. Tell her you just can't help but feel jealous, and why. Tell her that you know what she has said about the guy and not to worry, but you just can't help it. Say you know she might be angry at you for bringing it up again, but you need to just to get it off your chest and that you need her to accept it. Go as deep as you can to make it all better. That's my advice. But I'm always telling people to communicate. Usually it is the best policy in a relationship. Total openness. Even when it seems silly or foolish. If they love you, they'll understand, or they'll open their heart up enough to accept it. Good luck! biggrin heart For some reason I don't see sitting her down and telling her I'm jealous is going to work as well.
She's a fairly mature girl, but she's still a girl (that's probably starting her time-of-the-month soon).
I can picture her telling me to get over it, that I'm being paranoid and he's just a really good friend.
And then there's the kicker ... the thing she said last time I brought him up that made me feel bad about accusing anything.
Has she given me any reason not to trust her?
I mean ... I haven't caught her doing anything with any guy that would actually upset me ... and she's done nothing at all that would harm our relationship.
I wonder if I'm being too much of a worry-wart ... if I really am just paranoid.
I love her too much to have this guy interfere. I don't want to lose her. I don't want to be hurt again.
I still say go for it. She should understand why you would worry. Just ask her to put herself in your shoes. What if you were going on a roadtrip with a bunch of girls...? She may not like you putting her in that sort of situation, but love is supposed to be about equality.
And no, maybe she hasn't given you any reason to worry. But I know I've gotten myself awfully upset at my husband when he won't let me look at what he's doing on the computer screen and I begin to think "what if he is looking at porn??" Of course he's not, I know that, and to even have the thought cross my mind is terrible, but it never stops a person from worrying about it. Humans are naturally looking for a state of turmoil, they expect something to go arwy and wrong, and we need the release of knowing that nothing is actually going to be wrong at all when our love tells us we are being foolish and silly (even if it hurts to have them tell us so). |
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Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 6:01 pm
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Well, seeing as it looks like it is a ways off, I'd not think about it right now...
but I could be wrong and this could be coming up very soon.
Ok, so this is what I'd do in your situation:
Ask her not to go, and explain every reason why that is (including jealousy, and not knowing this guy yourself). Make sure she understands why you feel the way you do, because you obviously don't want her going, and as Z said ask her to put herself in your place.
If she refuses to listen to you, and decides to go anyways... then I would have to say to leave her. You love her, and it will hurt. Though if she can't go with a simple request like that (full of good, honest reasons), and she still claims to love you, then questions need to be asked what the word "love" means to her. If she will be faithful to you on the trip, then she wont go. If she goes, make sure she knows it is the end.
Or you could see about having a friend of yours tag along on the trip, and report back to you... which will also make you feel terrible... but then you'd know if anything happened.
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Khalida Nyoka Vice Captain
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Khalida Nyoka Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 6:03 pm
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Posted: Sat May 20, 2006 7:17 am
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Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 8:05 pm
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Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 3:09 pm
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Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 7:17 pm
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