Advance Mew Mew

Chapter 1: Tokyo Heck No!

By Hiro Konobu

"I'm probably going to get a lot of flames with this weird crossover of Advance Wars and Tokyo Mew Mew, but this was something I had to get out of my head, even if this chapter is more Advance Wars laced, also still only own my fanfics."

(We start the fic with Lash working on something in secret at an Orange Star base.)

"Yet again the author has me building some strange device all for the sake of a concept crossover, only this time by knocking out all of the people working here with knockout gas." Lash said as she sighs but suddenly laughs, but not noticing that Sami just came in an interesting way.

"Hold it right there Lash!" Sami said as she comes in through the window.

"What the! What was the purpose of that? I just want to know why you would do something like that." Lash said completely confused at what Sami just did.

"Well I wanted to do that for a certain level of dramatic effect, besides coming in the normal way just sounded too plain." Sami said as she brushed herself off from her entrance.

"Well I guess that would explain it but, one I would have expected that dramatic entrance later, and two I don't need anyone telling me to hold it six ways to Sunday anyway." Lash said before getting suprised by a taller figure dressed in green.

"Well, can I emplore you to reconsider Lash?" The figure in green said while tapping Lash shoulder.

"Eeeek! Evil old lady...that looks like Jess!" Lash said as jumped due to the suprise shoulder tap of that green lady while running back to her device.

"Excuse me author, could you refrain from calling me green lady, I just don't think it's very funny, just say Jess from here on out, and you Lash don't call me an old lady!" Jess said while getting slightly angry towards the author, but more angry at Lash.

"Hey it's your fault that you snuck up on me I had to react to that with something, hey wait a minute! Your a Green Earth CO why are you here in Orange Star territory?" Lash said still feeling suprised.

"Let's just say something came up..." Jess said.

Flashback

"Eagle quit meesing with my dandelions it just isn't funny anymore." Jess as she was chasing Eagle and trying to hit him with an artilery shell.

"Well It still is to me even if it's another lame joke, but still it is fun to mess with..." Eagle said as Jess caught up to him and smacked him with that shell.

About eleven minutes later

"Javier I'm going to Orange Star on leave if that's ok with you."

"Well do what you want dame Jess...besides we honestly don't know who's the actual leader of Green Earth anyway, by the way can I predict that Eagle pissed you off again." Javier said.

"You've predicted correctly Sir Knight, and don't worry about how I'm going to get there, I'll just use the bridge crossing that they made while we were off fighting the omega land war." Jess as she went to get into one of her many neotanks.

(Meanwhile in Orange Star, It seems Sami has some mechanical problems with a motorcycle)

"Stupid motorcycle shouldn't trusted Hachi when I could get this motorcycle for a deal, and I want to know why it had to break in the middle of nowhere of all places." Sami said as she continued to kick the non-working motorcycle, though Jess had shown up.

"So how long are you going to kick that motorcycle?" Jess said a little jokingly towards Sami.

"Just until I get my anger out on this thing then I'm going to shoot it, for trying to mess me up on a mission." Sami said while still kicking the kicking that vehicle.

"And what mission would that be?" Jess said while Sami still was kicking the motorcycle and not noticing Jess.

"See Lash somehow is using one of the bases to try one of her crazy experiments...again I need a ride there, before Lash does something the might seem insane." Sami said finally stopping her kicking on that vehicle.

"Well can I help?" Jess said to Sami.

"Sure...Jess what are doing here?" Sami said finally noticing Jess was right behind her.

"Well Eagle pissed me off again, and I thought I take some leave to see Jake...for some reason I really don't want him with Sasha." Jess said.

"I think someone's jealous." Sami said.

"Look do you want me to help you out or not?"Jess said obviously blushing.

End Flashback

"Well that explained one plothole but could you give me a few more minutes to finish this ray gun?" Lash said as she went back to work on it.

"No! I'm tried you using guns to advance any plot with you in it...though I'm getting Sasha-ish bad feelings for this plan but go ahead Sami and shoot her ray gun device." Jess said while Sami shot her gun at Lash's gun, however a strange glow came out of the gun.

"Sami! I hope you've learned the importance two things one: About being patient, and two: Not pulling Andy-like manuevers!" Lash said obviously angry at Sami.

"Well what was that gun you were working on called anyway Lash?" Sami said towards Lash.

"Well it was called the Manga Anime Dimension Gun it's very self explaintory...mostly." Lash said.

"Since it's glowing that means..." Jess said.

"Yep were going to pop up in a random anime or manga when this gets done flashing." As soon as Lash said that the gun flashed and next thing you know Jess, Lash, and Sami were gone from that base which built up the first part of the plot...you'll know the second part next chapter.

"Just kidding!" The author said while tied up due to Jess, Sami, and Lash.

(Sometime later in another place...also starting the obligatory second part of the plot.)

"Say Ryou don't you think that today has been very slow, in terms of the cafe being run." A red headed girl said to a certain person.

"I guess it has, but still you really think it's necesary for the Radio Hiro Studios to have anything related to actual plot to be good Ichigo?" Ryou said to Ichigo.

"What?" Ichigo said confused.

"Sorry forget that...I just thought I could bring up some converstation." Ryou said to Ichigo.

"That's ok...Mint why are you drinking that tea, I thought it was past it's expiration date." Ichigo said to Mint with a somewhat worried look on her face.

"Not exactly...I switched those tea bags with Masaya's when he wasn't looking, he should be getting a nasty suprise when he drinks one of them, besides nobody who read this anime likes him anyway so he wont be missed much." Mint said with a slight evil glare in her face.

"I have to admit it's very true, almost no one likes him." Ryou said.

"I sware Mint can get very evil when she needs to, I'm glad she isn't angry with us." Lettuce said as she suprised everyone in the room.

"Ahh, Lettuce! Don't sneak up like that on us!"

"I'm sorry, but you really need to see something that's going on outside, a Kirema Anima showed up and it's chasing three girls with no remorse." Lettuce said in a panicky way.

(A few minutes earlier)

"Tell me some reasons why I shouldn't kill you right now Lash?" An obviously angry, and much younger Jess said about to hurt Lash.

"Now Jess I don't know if hurting Lash is a good solution...even if she did this in the first place." Sami said also slightly angry with Lash but holding back Jess.

"One: I'm possibly the only way you have to get back to Wars World, two: If you decide to off me in this chapter then say hello to a second childhood, since Jess' age is about ten, and Sami's is about twelve, the only reason that I didn't get de-aged was due to my afro-like hair, that and the highest age for a female main character here is fourteen." Lash said.

"Yeah, and I'm not even going to talk about your hair, however you do make a legitimate point about our ages but why are we in childlike versions our alternate outfits, from "Advance Wars: Dual Strike?"" Jess said obviously seeing that her clothes switched to a childlike version of her alternate outfit.

"I'm going to predict our normal clothes wouldn't have worked in this dimension." Sami said eyeing down her alternate outfit.

"Well in this case you've predicted correctly even with Sami pulling a slight Andy." Lash said as she chuckles at this alternate outfit issue, however some people running from something immediately grabs the three girls attention, a monster that looks like a mix of a hamster and a fox.

"What in the name of Orange Star infantry is that?" Sami said with a shocked look on her face.

"I honestly don't know...run!" Jess said with a delayed emphasis on run.

"You know I should have brought Mr. Hungry with me besides they might have good friends." Lash said...probably confusing the readers more with this bit.

"...You know Lash if we die to Sami's gunshot, and your stupid device, I'm blaming it on both of you in the afterlife." Jess said in a slightly panicked tone.

(Just then a blue haired figure showed up, also ending the few minutes earlier bit)

"Hey monster try fighting someone who you can't chase all day. That was so corny..." A blue haired figure said appearing out of nowhere to atack the monster, as the monster had turned to Mint, Sami and Lash have some words about this.

"Lash I think that's Mew Mint up there. Sami says in a slight fangirlish tone.

"Hang on let me check...chinese like blue hair, bird like back, blue gloves and boots also the skirt, Sami you know that is Mint up there so...Insert fangirlish squeals right here.

"Oh great the fangirlish squeals...so annoying especially when it's from an anime you hate..." After Jess said this she started to go a little crazy.

"Uhh...Sami, I think Jess is breaking down, was it from a bad experience?" Lash said

"Yes, I kinda showed her this manga series at the last Christmas party." Sami said

"What happened after you showed it to her?" Lash said.

"Well let's say she got into a catfight with Nell, and later a lot Md. Tanks were destroyed all for the sake of her sanity." Sami said running out of breath with that last line.

"I guess it sounded like fun didn't it?" Lash said as Sami sweatdrops while Jess is still going crazy...and yes that battle between Mint and that is still going on...that's why she didn't have any dialouge.

"Stupid hamster-fox thingy distracting me from attacking and stupid author for not giving me any dialouge to go on this...oh well, Ribbon Mint Echo! Heart Arrow!" Mint said as she got her attck ready and destroyed said monster, and noticed three girls standing around the area. So those were the girls that Lettuce was talking about.

(As Mint decides to go over to where those girls were.)

"You have to admit Sami the attack is much better than the one that 4kids had dubbed." Lash said trying to switch the subject.

"Yeah but I get the feeling that they're French." Sami said in slight thought.

"What are getting at Sami?" Lash said as she was confused.

"Well when 4kids got this anime the obviously changed the names but most of them were French, hence the theory, and the huge amount of bashing fics related towards them." Sami said right before Mint comes up to them.

"Are you three girls alright?" Mint says to the three girls, though only two nod while one is still in a crazy acting mood. "Wait a minute you three look familar...what are you're names?" Mint said while asking the three girls that question.

"My name is Sami, my friend standing next to me here is Lash and the one who's still acting crazy is known as Jess." Sami said to Mint.

"Sorry for the assumption I could have sworn you three looked familar, bye." Mint said before leaving the area.

"Well what are we going to do about living arrangements?" Lash said somewhat worried.

"Well I know that in this Manga the heroines work in a cafe, so I'm guessing we could ask the boss to get jobs in exchange for temporary living arrangements, it's simple as that." Sami said as she was trying to act logically.

"Evil mahou shoujo, tanks, trains, DDR, must kill Eagle...with artilery, age...problems, pink rosed, staring at the moon." Jess...is apparently still acting crazy.

"So what are we going to do about Jess?" Lash said noticing Jess is still in hysterics.

"Simply put I'll do this." Sami said as she hit Jess.

"Ow! What was that for." Jess said finally coming to her senses.

"One, to knock you back to your senses, and two were going to find living arrangements." Lash said as all three of them decide to do what they were going to say.

(Back at Cafe Mew Mew)

"So Mint were you able to find those three girls Lettuce mentioned?" Ichigo said to Mint while cleaning up the place with her.

"Yes I did though it feel slightly surreal though seeing girls that looked like some people from "Advance Wars 2: Black Hole Rising"...I never played the third one...for the sake of this fic, but regardless I found the monster and destroyed while you were trying to find it yourself." Mint said

"Oh so that's why I couldn't find the monster, and Lettuce why didn't you attempt to attack the monster when you first saw it?" Ichigo said to Lettuce.

"I saw it when you were just disscussing about tea bags and you were closer to me at that time." Lettuce said

"Well I guess you can't win them all, say where's Keiichiro at he hasn't shown up all day." Ichigo said as she wonders.

"He went on vacation to Big Mountain, with Zakuro and Pudding, though I think it's an ulterior motive not to be involed in this fic or try to join a certain snowboarding circuit." Ryou said.

"I think it's a bad ploy to reference the SSX series, and also to advance the plot some more..." Mint said in her usual sarcastic tone, though some people had walked in...

"So this was the place you meant Sami." Lash said.

"That's right Lash, this was the place I was talking about, Jess quit whining we need to do this." Sami said while her and Lash held Jess as she was trying to escape.

"No, I just want to get out this horrible anime as three expansion style characters, and get back to my Dandelion field before Eagle tries something with them." Jess said in a panicky style.

"Hit her again please." Lash said as Sami had hit Jess again as she thinks to herself. And I thought Kindle was annoying but this takes the cake.

"Say Mint were those the three girls you mentioned earlier? I mean the ones being waited on by Ichigo." Lettuce said as she noticed the three people who entered the cafe.

"Let me take a closer look at them then I can get a closer picture of the three, yep I think it's them I know there from somewhere else." Mint said to Lettuce.

(Back to Sami, Jess, and Lash...for plot building.)

"Say Sami you know what this cat statue is for?" Lash said to Sami.

"I really don't know what it's for Lash." Sami said as a calmed down Jess is sitting near them pouting, but not making any intelligible words.

"I still get the feeling something bad is going to happen..." Jess said still in her pouty mood.

(In that infamous lab room of cafe Mew Mew, Ryou is in that lab again)

"Well I don't know if they're suitable subjects, but who cares about that!" Ryou said as he hit a button...and outside that statue those three girls started to talk about had glowed and before any words could be said they were knocked out.

"I going to guess that Ryou has a lot of explaning to do when these three girls wake up from this situation..." Ichigo said as she called for a little help to deal with this.

(Meanwhile...Jess sorta wakes up in a space like dreamscape)

"What in the nam of Olaf's beard is this place?" As Jess said this she noticed a white tiger of some kind came up and well fused with her...very quietly, though after this she woke in a pink bed alongside Sami, and Lash.

"Say did you two have a weird dream about an animal fusing with you Jess? Mine was with a red kitsune." Sami said in slight confusion, both Lash and Jess nod.

"Mine was with a white tiger, say Lash what did you get?" Jess said asking Lash.

"Well I got a brown coyote that's all I can say about that." Lash said responding to Jess' question.

"Well I see you three have woken up...names Ryou Shirogane by the way."

"Let me guess this is about the animals isn't it?" Jess said.

"That and employment." Ryou said.

"Can you explain why we were knocked out by a cat statue?" Sami said.

"Yes that's just something I use for the "Mew Project" it's very complicated." Ryou said trying to sound smart.

"So what about the employment?" Lash said in a curious way.

"Well first let me introduce your co-workers. Girls please come in here and introduce yourselves." Ryou said as three girls entered the room.

"Hello nice to meet you my name is Lettuce Midorika." Lettuce had said introducing herself.

"If you're wondering what my name is it's Ichigo Momomiya" Ichigo had said introducing herself.

"The names Mint Aizawa, and don't mess with my tea." Mint had said introducing herself.

"One more thing, with your employment you'll get living space, and ten dollars an hour and for being a participant in my 'Mew Project' you'll get an Nintendo 64, that was shipped from Miami." Ryou said.

"Screw you, Ryou, and Miami!" Jess, Sami, and Lash said in unison.

End Ch.1.

Lash: You know that Mint girl looks familar.

Sami: She does, but wait till Jess sees the outfit she has to work in next chapter.

Jess: What outfit? Oh, and the next chapter wont be as long.

Like I said it was weird, also noted the name there is my pen name for fanfic writing.