My song

[more evil than you]

I wrote a song, and I want to know what you guys think.
Sinking
I can feel my heart receding
losing feeling
losing hope
not sure if I am still breathing
pushing up the downward slope
And I

I know you don't smile for me
My heart is shrinking
I know its only her you see
my world is sinking
now I drown 'cause I can't swim
in this ocean of emotion I've landed in
bottomless and cold
like a movie quicksand hole
I'm sinking
I'm sinking

Not the type to be flirtatious
never dreamed I'd
ask you first
didn't mean to be outrageous
staying silent wouldn't hurt
like this

I know you don't smile for me
My heart is shrinking
I know its only her you see
my world is sinking
now I drown 'cause I can't swim
in this ocean of emotion I've landed in
bottomless and cold
like a movie quicksand hole
I'm sinking
I'm sinking

You know they say there's only so far down to go
I wonder will I one day look up and see the glow
or do I just keep sinking
'cause

I know you don't smile for me
My heart is shrinking
I know its only her you see
my world is sinking
now I drown 'cause I can't swim
in this ocean of emotion I've landed in
bottomless and cold
like a movie quicksand hole
I'm sinking
I'm sinking  

[Zphal]

Wow, that was really cool, it flows well, ryhmes in the right places, I like it very much! biggrin  

[more evil than you]

zphal_girl87

Wow, that was really cool, it flows well, ryhmes in the right places, I like it very much! biggrin

Thanks! mrgreen  

[MystWalker]

Very good!  

[hegel5000]

I like it. I wonder though, what kind of tune and rythm you were going to put this to because this would be great in a rap song.  

[Danie12]

it's sweet!!!  

[ringwraith10]

Now I just need to hear it with music. biggrin I think it's great.  

[~DancingThroughLife~]

I love it! its very expressive and flowy...ish...is flowy a word? anyways, i loved it.