Welcome to Gaia! ::

Ok, I'm new, but I'm gonna give this a shot anyway.

As you may have guessed, I have serious family issues. Now, take into consideration that I'm 20 years old, but don't judge me too harshly on that fact once I've said what I'm going to say.

I cannot, for the life of me, get along with my father (yes, he is my real dad) for more then a couple days at a time. Its gotten so bad, that I've been more or less living with my fiance` just to escape home.

I've been coming home, however, because I need computer time, and because I have a 4-year-old brother whom I do not wish to endure the wrath of my dad.

Now, to start things off, I have this serious issue with driving. ALL but 2 of my friends have died because of cars, whether they were driving them, or simply riding, and there for I have this MAJOR driving phobia. Well, my parents cannot for the life of me understand this fact and think I don't wanna drive because I'm lazy...

Second, I live in Nowhere Oklahoma, and unless you live in a big city around here, its really hard to get a job. I've been TRYING, however, so don't think I'm some mooching bum xP but they still nag.

My dad has even called me (to my face!) and Evil Lazy Worthless little B----. I asked him one time why he hated me so much, and that was his answer, and he reminds me (constantly...) that I'm lazy and worthless.

I HAVE had a job since I got out of Highschool (2004!) in fact, I've had 3 jobs, and the man has not worked since before we moved from California to Oklahoma...which was nearly 6 years ago.

...and my mom, you can't depend on her to back me up either. She's at work all the time (one of them has to be I suppose...) and when she IS home, she's always spending time with my brother. She's been promising me a Mother/Daughter day for OVER a year and we STILL haven't done anything. They (being my mom, dad, and brother) even went on vacation not too long ago and told me I couldn't go 'cause I didn't have the money to. I was still 19 and living entirely at home at the time too.

And this coming weekend they're going to Kansas to see my favorit uncle (who's very sick) and told me I get to house sit while they go.

So all in all, there you have my immediate family...I have no idea why I posted about them, but I did...I don't even really know if this has anything to do with what's talked about in this Forum, but uh....my bad if it's not? Anyway, that's my life, so if I seem a little messed up at times, you'll all know why ^_^;

If i were u i proably would have kicked my dads a** a loooonnng time ago... next time ur dad calls u lazy say hes a F---ing lazy a$$ who hasnt had a job in like 6 years...or thats what i would do but its probably not the best advice.

i say get ur brother out of there and go live with ur fiance'. well u cant because its kidnapping. ummm. wow. u r stuck. im sorry i dont now what for u to do

I find it really helps to vent, but you need to set limits. Just omit any violence, except in self defence, and do whatever works for you. Just make sure that you can do well on your own too, and don't be clingy to any sort of "self help" kind of things.
Also, I believe that a person is shaped by their experiences, and that no-one should be punished because of anything that happens to them.
See if you can sit down one on one with your dad sometime (sorry if you've already tried this. It's helped me alot during my parents' very loud divorce, which is still in progress) and tell him why you do some of the things that bug him, and ask him to justify why the (language pardon, if you please) bloody hell that you needed to justify that to him and whatever you think you need to get around to. Also make sure to ask him some things too, if you want to. If he starts yelling, then yell all you want back, just make sure to show him an "anti-doormat" display, and get it trought to him that this bugs you.
I really hope that helps, and if it doesn't I'm very sorry. I wish you all of the best luck on this issue. heart Good luck!