Need a little advice about someone close to me

[TheSixStringKid]

I was going to be vauge about some things due to certain folk, but I'm just going to say it anyways because I'd really appreciate advice. My girlfriend has a personal problem that I would like her to seek help for and work towards getting over, but I don't know how to tell her because I'm afraid of the way she would react. I'd really appreciate advice please.  

[Nadian]

My immediate thoughts were... too silly for comment...

The optimist inside me says that a relationship should involve communication and that you should be able to tell her that you'd like her to seek help and, likewise, accepting of what she decides. The optimist inside me also thinks she should handle the request maturely.

The realist inside me says that none of this will happen at all, that the best you can do is communicate to her what you would like her to do while very explicitly telling her that you don't expect her to do it. At least, that's how I see it being done while trying to avoid the reaction.  

[Strideo]

Is this problem a threat to her health or a danger to her education or financial well being?

I'm just trying to gauge the seriousness of the situation. neutral  

[Khalida Nyoka]

I'd say that you need to let her know that you worry for her, and you want everything to be perfect for her... then go into your concerns.  

[TheSixStringKid]

Strideo

Is this problem a threat to her health or a danger to her education or financial well being?

I'm just trying to gauge the seriousness of the situation. neutral

First off, thanks guys for replying

Its not a simple problem with communication. In all seriousness, I think that she needs to see a therapist. Normally Things are great. I've never felt this close to anyone before, not even my first love. Once and a while, she gets seriously irritable and jumps at me for the smallest things, not just me but everyone else, like really bad mood swings (nothing violent).
I think its due to a lot of trauma in her life growing up at home. I have friends that 'smoke', but she can't eat or sleep without...I guess because its like a downer. She also had a habit in the past, before we met, of mutilating herself.

I think she either has a really bad problem with depression or she's bi-polar and it would mean the wold to me if she got some help for this. She's aware that she has a problem but she won't admit it. Her parents don't care for her, and her father is an a** towards her. Her mother does nothing in her defense... Everyone is aware of this, but no one is doing anything.

I tried to be supportive by getting her into other this, keeping her occupied, and encouraging her with her poetry...We got into a big argument the other day over a cover I made for her book....It was horrible, and it was such a minor thing. I didn't know what to do so I got frustrated, so I didn't talk to her for the rest of the day until my mom stepped in and played mediator. Even after knowing this my parents have been understanding.

Sorry for the rambling...I don't know what to do, I absolutely love her and it hurts me to see her in pain and out of control of herself.  

[Strideo]

That is difficult. sad

If you feel she has some kind phycological problem or trauma that affect her behavior and makes her act out in a bad way how do you broach the subject? confused

I know we can say that if you love each other and you care for her that you should speak to her in an honest and sensitive manner and try to express your feelings on the subject, but to actually do it is goning to be tough I know.  

[Strideo]

Maybe at first you should just say something about how you love her and you hate it when you get into fights and that it seems that she has been angry a lot and you just want to know if something is bothering her and you want to help.  

[TheSixStringKid]

Strideo

That is difficult. sad

If you feel she has some kind phycological problem or trauma that affect her behavior and makes her act out in a bad way how do you broach the subject? confused

I know we can say that if you love each other and you care for her that you should speak to her in an honest and sensitive manner and try to express your feelings on the subject, but to actually do it is goning to be tough I know.

She's a very blunt person and extremely honest, but when it comes to her own personal feelings or past, she either lets things out bit by bit or make it into a joke;that's when I try to talk to talk to her a bit. She's also very sensitive at times, so I've been shying away from the subject to keep things in balance. I'm not complaining though...I do it because I truly love her. I would like to see her overcome these things, even by a little bit. When this isn't going on, she's a complete different person. the main problem is that she has no control over herself. She has admitted that much. My mom talks with her a lot, but she feels like me about approaching the subject.

Right now things are calm. She might sleepover this or next weekend and I was thinking about working on it then...but now I'm re-thinking that.  

[TheSixStringKid]

Strideo

Maybe at first you should just say something about how you love her and you hate it when you get into fights and that it seems that she has been angry a lot and you just want to know if something is bothering her and you want to help.

I tell her that I want to see her do well because I love her. I'm waiting until the right moment to say everything. She has problems at home right now. She has come a really long way though, despite this situation. I'll approach things that way when the moment is right, Thanks.  

[green_chicken_rabies]

I would sit her down and talk to her about her situation, and get her to know that you are serious. Then she will listen to you better, and know that you only want the best for her.