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| Do you know any one like this? |
| Yes |
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50% |
[ 3 ] |
| No |
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16% |
[ 1 ] |
| I knew some one like that but they changed |
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33% |
[ 2 ] |
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| Total Votes : 6 |
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 Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 11:43 am
Okay well one of my freinds ,not giving out her name b/c she has a Gaian account, is always in self pity. She has once, at school, tried to taking her life by drinking some oil, i think. I didn't hear about it until like a week after. Well everytime i talk to her it seems like she has another problem. She always is in self pity. Last year she and this boy were dating and he dumped her b/c of family things, litteraly not just a ploy. Ever since then She's been really bad. She claims that there's nothing but sometimes i can convince her to admit she does have fellings still for him. I truly do not know what to do b/c I've tried to make her happy and more optomistic on life but not much is working. Can anyone help?
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Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 10:25 am
this is kinda long, so for the short version, if u don't wanna read the long one, read the red italized section below....
ok, this is a tough case. i'm no psychologist, but i'll do my best in helping: first comes acceptance. she has to admit that sumthin's wrong. only then can she accept proper help. however, don't push it or she might snap. second, she has to understand that self-pity is just useless, stupid, idiotic, ect. [no offense intended towards ur friend]. i say this bcs this r facts: self-pity: u feel pity towards urself and ur problems, u sulk over them forever...do u ever solve them? no, that's not part of self-pity. THAT'S my point. if she just keeps thiinking about it without trying to change anything, NOTHING WILLL CHANGE! and that's not good bcs she'll forever feel bad. she really needs to get over this guy. i know, not as easy as it sounds, but it has to b done. as for u, don't try forcing happiness on her, nor should u overshadow her feelings with something else. while it IS a friends' duty to make a friend feel better by taking the problem out of the friends' mind, it is ALSO friends duty to help this person trhu the problem, and overshadowing her feelings is not the answer. it IS an option, but it can't b the only one taken. maybe while she deals with it, it's ok, it a self-defense mechanism, but even so, one must face their problems sooner or later. furthermore, taking her life is also stupid. suicide, by far, is not the answer. sure, u end all problems at once, but u also end just about any and evry chance of happiness along with it, whilst if u face them, u end the problem, but future posibilities of happiness remain. she can't always b thinking about the bad things, bcs it's just not worth it. why live for bad things? that's exactly the thought of suicidal ppl. however, there's the counter thought: bcs bad things r not all that run the world. there r many good things, and if u fail to look at them, u r failing to look upon life itself. it's NOT all peaches and cream. there r many hardships, yes, plenty, but after overcoming them, u get awarded with the good things. and eventually more hardships will come, yes, but overcome those and u'll get to the award.
i dunno if i made much sense, and i know it's kinda long, but all in all: don't overshadow ur friends sorrows, help her thru them. get her to understand neither suicide nor self-pity are worth it. lastly, there r plenty good things in life, yes, in balance with bad, but the key thing: THERE'S A BALANCE! ther's of both, and u choose which one to pay the most att to.
hope i helped! whee
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Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 11:07 am
Sotur this is kinda long, so for the short version, if u don't wanna read the long one, read the red italized section below....ok, this is a tough case. i'm no psychologist, but i'll do my best in helping: first comes acceptance. she has to admit that sumthin's wrong. only then can she accept proper help. however, don't push it or she might snap. second, she has to understand that self-pity is just useless, stupid, idiotic, ect. [no offense intended towards ur friend]. i say this bcs this r facts: self-pity: u feel pity towards urself and ur problems, u sulk over them forever...do u ever solve them? no, that's not part of self-pity. THAT'S my point. if she just keeps thiinking about it without trying to change anything, NOTHING WILLL CHANGE! and that's not good bcs she'll forever feel bad. she really needs to get over this guy. i know, not as easy as it sounds, but it has to b done. as for u, don't try forcing happiness on her, nor should u overshadow her feelings with something else. while it IS a friends' duty to make a friend feel better by taking the problem out of the friends' mind, it is ALSO friends duty to help this person trhu the problem, and overshadowing her feelings is not the answer. it IS an option, but it can't b the only one taken. maybe while she deals with it, it's ok, it a self-defense mechanism, but even so, one must face their problems sooner or later. furthermore, taking her life is also stupid. suicide, by far, is not the answer. sure, u end all problems at once, but u also end just about any and evry chance of happiness along with it, whilst if u face them, u end the problem, but future posibilities of happiness remain. she can't always b thinking about the bad things, bcs it's just not worth it. why live for bad things? that's exactly the thought of suicidal ppl. however, there's the counter thought: bcs bad things r not all that run the world. there r many good things, and if u fail to look at them, u r failing to look upon life itself. it's NOT all peaches and cream. there r many hardships, yes, plenty, but after overcoming them, u get awarded with the good things. and eventually more hardships will come, yes, but overcome those and u'll get to the award. i dunno if i made much sense, and i know it's kinda long, but all in all: don't overshadow ur friends sorrows, help her thru them. get her to understand neither suicide nor self-pity are worth it. lastly, there r plenty good things in life, yes, in balance with bad, but the key thing: THERE'S A BALANCE! ther's of both, and u choose which one to pay the most att to.
hope i helped! whee Thanx I'll try and keep that in mind
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Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 5:32 pm
my friend is so desperite she will attache herself to any guy that talks to her
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Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 10:35 pm
Sotur gives good advice. Your friend needs to find things to make her happy. If she continues to focus on the bad, she'll never find the good.
Maybe she needs to find a new activity, preferably one where she can meet new people.
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Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 4:15 pm
estelahe Sotur gives good advice. Your friend needs to find things to make her happy. If she continues to focus on the bad, she'll never find the good. Maybe she needs to find a new activity, preferably one where she can meet new people. She's in the band.....he is too.....>.< but i think she's in drama too
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