Can anyone help me?

[toughluck22894]

Okay this might be a mouthful. My grandmother died a week before school started. And I found a new hobby. Cutting. My uncle is moving away, I am really close to him. My mom and dad might be getting a divorce and they are trying again. And they're trying to get counsling. So me and my sister have to now too. And I feel so lost and depressed. Can anyone help me?  

[Tarrien]

You really shouldn't cut... it's just adding to your stress when you want to hide the scars...

Maybe the counseling will help you not feel so lost and depressed, just give it a chance...
~If you don't like counseling after a few sessions- talk to your parents about it, if they wont listen, I'm pretty sure you could endure it for a while...  

[The Stupidest Angel]

Basically what Fenera said. Cutting won't solve a whole lot of problems, if anything it creates more.  

[Sotur]

Alright, though not directly, I think I can relate and help you. Like Fenera said, you really shouldn't cut. Here comes my first reason to relate: I used to cut, I don't do it anymore because I realized it doesn't solve anything. Not only is it a pain to hide the scars, but really, it doesn't do anything for you. Yes, it gives some mind peace because you focus on the physical pain instead of the emotional one, I know, trust me, I know because that's why I used to do it. But I realized it was pointless because it brought peace for only a little bit. Afterwards the emotional pain was back, and the problem remained. It's a destructive self-defense mechanism, yes. But DESTRUCTIVE! And, it really doesn't help. That's why I say you shouldn't cut. Furthermore, about the divorce: this may sound cruel, I know because it did to me, but truth is, they didn't ask you for permission when they were gonna get married, there's no need for them to ask you about breaking it, either. Yes, it sounds bitchy, I know. It did to me, too, when my brothers told me so. You see, my parents are also divorcing. This divorce, however, has been rather hard. My dad has a mental illness, so he forgets stuff a lot [no, not Alzheimer. some symptoms, but not enough, according to the docs, to say it IS]. Because of it, mother grew tired [8 years like that, who wouldn't?] so....it's been a hard divorce. Honestly, I'd understand if you said you didn't want counseling. I'm one that hates counseling, too. But there's one counseling you can count on to be completely honest, secret, and helpful: friends. They are the ones you gotta talk to. But I mean REAL FRIENDS. Ones that can hear your problem over and over, see you cry over and over because of it, and still offer a shoulder for you to cry on once more for the same thing. These type of things are like that, and they require that type of friends. I've lost count of the many times I've cried over my problems [parents divorce, father's illness, brother with cancer, another one in the NAVY, a cousin in Iraq, etc.], and I hardly doubt I'm done crying. I just keep seeking my friends when I need them. They help me out. and honestly, though indirectly [because very few of them know I cut before], they helped me stop cutting. I saw that cutting was a waste of time, pointless, as I said before. talking and finding comfort in my friends was much more healthy, and, by far, much more helpful. of course, it's not an over-night thing, I understand that. But realized and think throughly what I said. It really is useless to cut.<<<< [most important thought here, if you don't wanna read the rest  

[CrimsonxXxSolace]

I agree with all of the above... i had a little cousin who was cutting herself and when everyone found out about it, it was hard for her to hide it from us...so don't cut. it won't solve anything. Instead make a journal or write some poems. I'm not one to be comfortable conversing with my parents so i just write in my journal...and it helps...maybe you should try that out.  

[WindAndFire]

Cutting is an addiction. I suffer from its wrath too. I would be hypocritical to tell you to stop cutting, but there are other ways of stress relief. If you don't like counseling (personally I hate it) then talk to your friends. Because friends truly understand and care about you, while a counselor is paid to understand and care. If you're more of a physical person, try beating the crap out of a pillow, punching bag, or other object. Write in a journal. Write emo poetry. Whatever takes your mind off the pain.  

[baigais]

If you're going to write in a journal; to write down what your feelings are at the moment, who you're mad at, or whatever, I'd suggest doing it in a very secure place.

I'd actually say that an internet journal would be a good choice. I wrote in a hard-cover journal for three years and it was full of hate and had everything that I disliked about life in it, and my parents found it. It was not pleasant.

I've never had the troubles of parents divorcing or anything, so that I can't really understand, but I have had some pretty sucky times. And actually, cutting did help, but to a very small extent. The results from cutting are very minuscule compared to what you can get from talking to someone. If you can, try discussing your problems with someone who is at least a tad older than you, if you have someone like that that you can trust. If you find that they can give you a listening ear, then you can reveal a little more and work your way out of the addiction that you've fallen into.

If you don't have anyone like that, or you do, but they won't offer support, then talk to a close friend, or if you can really trust your sister, talk to her. She's in the same boat as you are, so maybe you two can find a way to cope together.

I hope things work out for the best. Good luck.  

[IKurando]

first off, I'm terribly sorry about all of this. just remember that you'll always be able to talk with your uncle, no matter where he is. Remember, people do die, and I don't know what your beliefs are, but if you ask me, she's there watching over you. and she won't like that you're cutting. neither will your uncle. your parents divorcing is really hard, but this is the time where you need to get everything out, through a journal, or through someone to talk to. someone who'll listen to everything you say.  

[kolli]

I have also had my parents divorce, and I recommend writing very highly. But if you're not into that kind of stuff, I suggest a good noncompetitive videogame. One that doesn't add to the stress but allows you to lose yourself in another world, even for a few minutes. if you can completsly distract yourself you come back calmer. And if that doesn't work, then eat a really good meal. I also have another suggestion: Don't lose communication with your parents, because then they'll understand you less. Take each aside for a few minutes alone and explain as calmly as you can what you feel. It can really be a huge help.  

[Nammu]

I used to cut... at first you can see that it might help, but it dosnt, it just leaves you scars. and fter they heal you gonna see the, and your goin to remember WHY you have does scars. that waht happens to me, I see my scars and I remember why i did it. My grandma died a week before my b-day and that day I wasnt with her, but I dint cut, cause I knew she would like me to doe that, as same with your grams, she donst want to see you hurt. and about your parents, well maybee there looking for help, bad would have been if they were getting worse. You and your uncle can still comunicate, remember, we have tecnology xD And phones and still the god old lettler in the mail. So thers no stoping you for talking to your uncle. Think of the good sides of thing, if your grams was suffering, she's not anymore... and like I said, your parents are looking for help and you can still can comunicate with your uncle. so stop hurting yourself, is not the best way to get help, if you wan thelp talk with your parents that you want help so you can go trew the thing you are goin trew calm. My best wishes for you. Take care wink  

[Ayllin]

I really can't help you much with the cutting thing besides from telling you not to do it, yes it seems helpfull, but in the long run it's not. But I can help you with the devorced parents. My parents have been devorced for three years now. Although I hate to say it, things have actually gotten better for me since my dad left. It may not be the same for you, my parents dont hate each others guts and he lives only a few miles away and I get to see him a lot- it may not happen for you that way. The main thing you need to know is that it's not your fault. No matter what anyone says (even your parents) it couldn't have possibly been your fault. You and your siblings (if you have any) possibly could have created some of the things that they decided to devorce over, but no good parent would blame their child. Councling may seem bad and annoying, but it helps a lot. Not only with the devorce, but with a lot of things too. They can only tell your parents if they think the problem may endanger your life, otherwise it's their job not to tell anyone. They can also help you feel not so lost. Also like many have said, friends make better councles than anyone. Real friends I mean. They'll listen and help you through it while not being over powering (real counclers can be at times). Also, if you and your sister are close you can talk to her. I dont know if you can but I trust my sister and we tell each other our problems. As for your grandmother, I'm sorry. But she's in a better place now, and one day when your old and ready you'll meet up with her again. Last thing- make sure to get your uncles new phone number- you may not be able to see him as much but maybe you can still talk to him.