...spoke too soon

[Faerie Dreams]

SPOKE TOO SOON! GAH! ALL I HAVE TO SAY NOW IS ******** IT!

sorry if it is kinda long sweatdrop

okay, so yeah, there is this guy, who is my friend, yeah, well we were extremely close friends, and this is how it went...

before spring break- talk at school, hug, tickle eachother, he would randomly hold my hand and put his arm around me

during spring break- didn't talk at all, not once, all spring break, which was like a week and a half

1st day back- he wrote me a note asking one for my yahoo name and two if I liked him as more than a friend, I said "yeah, kinda, I guess, but I just want to be friends" , later that night we talked online for like 4 hours, he would call me beautiful and pretty and cute and compliment me randomly, and mentioned how he has been broken up with his girlfriend for two months

2nd day back- talked a lot at school, would entirely hold my hand while we walked, if I couldn't hold his hand he would put his arm around me, and he would ask me for hugs, then that night we talked on the phone for an hour, asked me if I wanted to hang out on Friday, I said sure

3rd day back- even more of the talking and holding hands and hugging, etc.., people would ask if we were going out xd , but we weren't nor were we going to, cause I only wanted to be friends, and we talked for 2 hours on the phone that night

4th day back (Friday)- same stuff at school, more, hug, hold hands, etc.., late on in the day, we talked online for a while, then decided we would go to the movies, and then he had to get offline, and then we went to the movies, and here is where things start getting screwed up....

At the movies- payed for me, like any nice man would do, held my hand, which I did not mind, started like running his thumb across my fingers, still didn't mind it, put his hand on my leg, kinda strange, but still didn't mind it very much, then I got kinda tiredish during the movie, and I leaned my head on his shoulder, an entirely harmless thing to do, especially when he knew I was tired all day, and that I only wanted to be friends....then out of no-where he kisses me, and stupid stupid me, doesn't just immediately pull away, I kiss back a bit before pulling away...then after the movie, we talked on the way home, and I gave him a hug goodbye when he dropped me off at my house, and everything seemed okay, regardless of the kiss..

Like half an hour later- I was talking to him online, and he said he was sorry for kissing me, and that he knows it was wrong, and stuff like that, and I am just like "it's okay..." then after more talking, he got offline cause he had to work, and said he would talk to me tomorrow (meaning Saturday)

Saturday- didn't talk to him at all, all day, I started worrying more and more about our friendship, and how much I just wanted everything to be okay between us...

Sunday- most of the day didn't talk to him, he got online for like three minutes, didn't say anything to me, then signed out, at this point I was so worried about our friendship that I started crying...he ended up calling my like three hours later at like 9ish, and we talked for half an hour, and I started thinking, thank God, everything is okay, but of course, no, it wasn't, he said something to me like "I don't know how to say this, and don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with you and talking to you, but I am just extremely confused since breaking up with -whatever her name is- two months ago, and the baby on the way(by the way he got her pregnant..), and that kiss on Friday has just had me thinking about how I shouldn't have done that, and I shouldn't be with anyone, and some more stuff that I don't remember (not exact wording just so you know). and I was just like "that's entirely okay because I only want to be friends, and I like how our relationship as friends is, and don't worry, I forgive you for kissing me" then we talked a while longer, then got off the phone, but I couldn't sleep until like 1 in the morning cause I was thinking so much about how I pray that our friendship doesn't change...

Monday (today)- of course our friendship wasn't the same...what the heck was I thinking it ever could be?!? we didn't talk nearly as much, and when I would tickle him he wouldn't really react, of course no hand holding, or hugging, or him putting his arm around me...so....I wrote him a note during my 4th hour..about how I hope so much that we could just go back to normal, and pretend the kiss never happend, and we could just be friends...he never wrote back, but he did tell me that of course he wants to be friends, and I was like "YESSSS!" (but I didn't actually say that I just smiled and said that's good) now so for that little bit of time in between classes, things seemed normal, and I gave him a hug, and everything seemed fine, now that was the last time I spoke with him, or saw him today, but I still worry that things might not be fine...

-
Now here is where another problem comes in, I feel hurt a lot, and I feel like crying, and it's not just like being sad when you lose a friend, it feels like more...with all the cute things he would say to me and all the fun we had together, I started to care for him more and more, almost to the point where it was more than a friend...but I convinced myself no, cause he got his ex-girlfriend (well she wasn't his ex at the time) pregnant and is going to have a baby soon...but I seriously feel like punching that ex-girlfriend in the face (even though I never met her), cause I have a feeling she might have something to do with our friendship getting messed up...

and another bit of information is that my boyfriend broke up with me two months ago, and I just don't know if my attachment to this guy who I never really want to date (at least as far as my brain is concerned) has to do with the fact that my boyfriend broke up with me two months ago? I mean I was friends with this guy before me and my boyfriend broke up, but since then, we became closer friends, but I like how I am friends with this guy, because I have a lot of fun with him and he makes me extremely happy...and it really extremely hurts me to lose this friendship, like I started crying today at school thinking about it...and he was there, but I had my head laying down on the table so he couldn't see...

so please, I really don't know what I am asking for help with exactly...I just really think I pretty much need a therapist for my tormented teenage heart, but since therapists are too expensive, I come to "Why Not" for any help that they can spare...

feel free to PM me as well 3nodding

EDIT- okay, things are getting a bit back to normal, I think, Thursday and Friday were good, he attacked/tickled me a lot Thursday, and Friday he gave me a ride home, and we talked a lot, and then he randomly tickled my leg and when I grabbed his hand to make him stop, he didn't let go of my hand right away and gave me a hug bye when he dropped me off..and at school Friday, he grabbed me and I said to him, "I have to go find my sister" and he said "well give me a hug first and then you can go," things still aren't the same...but they are on there way to being the same again...aren't they?  

[Cri-chi]

I can understand why you're so upset. I'm not great or anything with advice, but i just want you to know that if you have anything else you need to get off your chest, you can always PM me.

Crying is okay aswell, don't be afraid to even at school.
Sometimes life can be tough and alot of wierd things happen, but it's only because we're human.

See how the rest of this week goes. If you both need a bit of space, then use this time to have a breather.
Give us an update maybe thursday/friday on how your relationship is, hopefully things may even patch things up themselves.

I wish you the best. Things like this happen, never think you're alone.  

[Faerie Dreams]

all I know so far is today sucked, and I think he is back with his ex-girlfriend...but I am not sure, but today sucked, I cried more...he gave me a ride home, and I started crying then, thank God he didn't see...when he dropped me off at my house I kinda just got out of the car, and when I said bye to me, I was just like yeah, and I wouldn't look at him, cause I was just crying, and I walked into my house, slammed the door, and just sat on the floor crying...I hate this so much...

should I have just told him more last week that I did like him, and I thought he was really fun and nice, and even though I felt all of that, I only wanted to be friends how we were...  

[Kogru]

awwh. i got a bit teary reading this. i kinda know where your coming from... other then the whole you have had a bf before =/ i haven't. nor probly ever will.

i'm a lot like you, i really like two of my close guy friends, and i think dating either would ruin our friendship if we were to have a fight. That's probly why you don't want to date him.

I feel really bad for you. i wish i could give you a hug =[ to bad you don't live in Somers Point =[

((oh god my mom and sister are pmsing. save me))

my advice, is give him some time. he is confused right now, he likes you as more then a friend, but he has his ex with the baby coming. He doesn't know what he should do, he probably thinks that if he was to date you and his ex was to have the baby, he might need to give you up to help take care of the baby. And he does not want you to get hurt. He is most likely putting space between you two so his feelings for you do not keep pouring through.  

[Faerie Dreams]

Kogru

awwh. i got a bit teary reading this. i kinda know where your coming from... other then the whole you have had a bf before =/ i haven't. nor probly ever will.

i'm a lot like you, i really like two of my close guy friends, and i think dating either would ruin our friendship if we were to have a fight. That's probly why you don't want to date him.

I feel really bad for you. i wish i could give you a hug =[ to bad you don't live in Somers Point =[

((oh god my mom and sister are pmsing. save me))

my advice, is give him some time. he is confused right now, he likes you as more then a friend, but he has his ex with the baby coming. He doesn't know what he should do, he probably thinks that if he was to date you and his ex was to have the baby, he might need to give you up to help take care of the baby. And he does not want you to get hurt. He is most likely putting space between you two so his feelings for you do not keep pouring through.

yeah I guess that kinda makes sense...but still, I want to tell him all of this, and how horrible I feel, but I just can't, and seeing him makes me want to cry, even though we were nothing more than friends, I just want things to be the same...heh...
but what you said really makes sense, so, maybe I will try to deal with it  

[Cri-chi]

Like what Kogru said, he's probably confused.
Hopefully with a bit of space it might patch itself up, but not to worry if things dont. I'm sure you have other fabulous friends that will love you (friend to friend way) no matter what happens, and will be there to support you.

I find that talking to my older sister sometimes helps me with some of my problems, if you have an older sibling, they're always nice to talk to.
If not, our school has councellors (Sounds tacky but they're very helpful!).

I saw a concellor last year when I was having confidence problems and getting stress from the pressure of exams and stuff. But she actually helped me out.
Even just sitting there crying to someone makes me feel better, no matter who they are. They dont actually have to say anything! I feel better when i let it all out.

Hopefully by typing this thread up, it has helped you a bit.

Have you tried maybe even calling him? That way you dont have to talk face to face or even emailling him?
Just letting him know how upset (and a bit confused?) you are from this.

heart I wish you the best. Really. Life can suck sometimes.  

[Faerie Dreams]

Cri-chi

Like what Kogru said, he's probably confused.
Hopefully with a bit of space it might patch itself up, but not to worry if things dont. I'm sure you have other fabulous friends that will love you (friend to friend way) no matter what happens, and will be there to support you.

I find that talking to my older sister sometimes helps me with some of my problems, if you have an older sibling, they're always nice to talk to.
If not, our school has councellors (Sounds tacky but they're very helpful!).

I saw a concellor last year when I was having confidence problems and getting stress from the pressure of exams and stuff. But she actually helped me out.
Even just sitting there crying to someone makes me feel better, no matter who they are. They dont actually have to say anything! I feel better when i let it all out.

Hopefully by typing this thread up, it has helped you a bit.

Have you tried maybe even calling him? That way you dont have to talk face to face or even emailling him?
Just letting him know how upset (and a bit confused?) you are from this.

heart I wish you the best. Really. Life can suck sometimes.

Well I have thought about telling him, and almost have, but then didn't, then today I was gonna ask him if he could come on yahoo messenger or call me later, but once again, I chickened out and didn't...
I don't have an older sibling, well actually I have 3, but one, my sister is married and lives far away, and I wouldn't dare ask my brothers for help, and my younger sister is only 12 and she doesn't really understand things, but I still do talk to her a lot..
and I don't think we have a school counselor actually sweatdrop  

[Sotur]

i'm not sure this is what u wanted, but here's what i think: u r feeling sad bcs u fee u turned him down even tho he said he made the mistake. maybe he really thinks he made a mistake by kissing u. but there's also the possibility that he's just saying that out of pride, perhaps trying to convice himself that it was a mistake. my point here is: perhaps he liked u a lot, but since u turned him down hes trying to keep himself up, considering he has the pressure of having a baby with his EX. anyway, well, how old r u? and how old is he? and i also think u should give it time. he IS, after all, undergoing A LOT of pressure right now, needless to say. but u also need to sort out what u feel. this isn't all about "wait-and-see". at least i think it's not. once u have figured out how u REALLY feel about him [bcs there's the possibility that u have have fallen for him thru ur innocent interactions. i'm saying so bcs with my boyfriend, we started going out as simply friends, we REALLY had no intention of getting together. in fact, we were helping each other out with some "relationship problems" [he wanted one with this girl, so i was trying to help him with that, and i had this guy who wanted to be with me, but i didn't want to, so he was helping me with that]. anyway, point is, we started out as merely friends, but in the process...we ended up falling for each other. point being: there's a possibility u fell for him. i wouldn't know, u'd need to tell me so that i'd know. but that's what i think. anyway, once u figure out what u really feel about him, u should go up to him and tell him. it's never too late. that thought of "i should have told him more" is exactly what u should do, TELL HIM MORE. but speak with him once u have it figured out, bcs there's no point in going on to babble about something u rn't sure of and end up saying something u don't mean or never meant to say...dunno if i babbled too much and u ended up not understanding...i hope u DID understand, if not, my bad, i'll be glad to explain myself further. anyway, hope that helped. ^_^  

[Faerie Dreams]

Sotur

i'm not sure this is what u wanted, but here's what i think: u r feeling sad bcs u fee u turned him down even tho he said he made the mistake. maybe he really thinks he made a mistake by kissing u. but there's also the possibility that he's just saying that out of pride, perhaps trying to convice himself that it was a mistake. my point here is: perhaps he liked u a lot, but since u turned him down hes trying to keep himself up, considering he has the pressure of having a baby with his EX. anyway, well, how old r u? and how old is he? and i also think u should give it time. he IS, after all, undergoing A LOT of pressure right now, needless to say. but u also need to sort out what u feel. this isn't all about "wait-and-see". at least i think it's not. once u have figured out how u REALLY feel about him [bcs there's the possibility that u have have fallen for him thru ur innocent interactions. i'm saying so bcs with my boyfriend, we started going out as simply friends, we REALLY had no intention of getting together. in fact, we were helping each other out with some "relationship problems" [he wanted one with this girl, so i was trying to help him with that, and i had this guy who wanted to be with me, but i didn't want to, so he was helping me with that]. anyway, point is, we started out as merely friends, but in the process...we ended up falling for each other. point being: there's a possibility u fell for him. i wouldn't know, u'd need to tell me so that i'd know. but that's what i think. anyway, once u figure out what u really feel about him, u should go up to him and tell him. it's never too late. that thought of "i should have told him more" is exactly what u should do, TELL HIM MORE. but speak with him once u have it figured out, bcs there's no point in going on to babble about something u rn't sure of and end up saying something u don't mean or never meant to say...dunno if i babbled too much and u ended up not understanding...i hope u DID understand, if not, my bad, i'll be glad to explain myself further. anyway, hope that helped. ^_^

I am 16, and he is turning 18 in June... (not as bad as it seems, considering I'm born late in the year, the age difference isn't that large)
and I am trying to comprehend what you said, and the part where you said "since I turned him down he's trying to keep himself up" the thing is when I told him I only wanted to be friends he tried like more to make me fall for him, and it kinda succeeded...I think...but yeah, so I don't think it is the me saying I only wanted to be friends that made him act like this...because he knows he was succeeding in making me like him more sweatdrop  

[Kogru]

hope it helped... i'm going through this on a lower level =/ i've gotta go update my other thing... blah. men suck...  

[Faerie Dreams]

Kogru

hope it helped... i'm going through this on a lower level =/ i've gotta go update my other thing... blah. men suck...

yes, yes they do  

[Sotur]

Faerie Dreams

Sotur

i'm not sure this is what u wanted, but here's what i think: u r feeling sad bcs u fee u turned him down even tho he said he made the mistake. maybe he really thinks he made a mistake by kissing u. but there's also the possibility that he's just saying that out of pride, perhaps trying to convice himself that it was a mistake. my point here is: perhaps he liked u a lot, but since u turned him down hes trying to keep himself up, considering he has the pressure of having a baby with his EX. anyway, well, how old r u? and how old is he? and i also think u should give it time. he IS, after all, undergoing A LOT of pressure right now, needless to say. but u also need to sort out what u feel. this isn't all about "wait-and-see". at least i think it's not. once u have figured out how u REALLY feel about him [bcs there's the possibility that u have have fallen for him thru ur innocent interactions. i'm saying so bcs with my boyfriend, we started going out as simply friends, we REALLY had no intention of getting together. in fact, we were helping each other out with some "relationship problems" [he wanted one with this girl, so i was trying to help him with that, and i had this guy who wanted to be with me, but i didn't want to, so he was helping me with that]. anyway, point is, we started out as merely friends, but in the process...we ended up falling for each other. point being: there's a possibility u fell for him. i wouldn't know, u'd need to tell me so that i'd know. but that's what i think. anyway, once u figure out what u really feel about him, u should go up to him and tell him. it's never too late. that thought of "i should have told him more" is exactly what u should do, TELL HIM MORE. but speak with him once u have it figured out, bcs there's no point in going on to babble about something u rn't sure of and end up saying something u don't mean or never meant to say...dunno if i babbled too much and u ended up not understanding...i hope u DID understand, if not, my bad, i'll be glad to explain myself further. anyway, hope that helped. ^_^

carry on, keep romancing

I am 16, and he is turning 18 in June... (not as bad as it seems, considering I'm born late in the year, the age difference isn't that large)
and I am trying to comprehend what you said, and the part where you said "since I turned him down he's trying to keep himself up" the thing is when I told him I only wanted to be friends he tried like more to make me fall for him, and it kinda succeeded...I think...but yeah, so I don't think it is the me saying I only wanted to be friends that made him act like this...because he knows he was succeeding in making me like him more sweatdrop

carry on, carry on dancing

ok...that does make it harder to explain, then. so he tried harder to have u like him...then maybe he's distancing himself now bcs he realized [one or another way] that being with u while he's gonna have a baby isn't the best option, for himself AND for the baby. so maybe now he's backing down to try and sort out how he feels, or he's doing it to try and BLOCK how he feels about u. i'm thinking there's a possibility he still likes u, but since it wouldn't be the best way to deal with the baby, the mother of the baby, etc. then he's backing down, ignoring how he feels, so he can try and sort that out. as for the trying to keep himself up, what i said is pretty much nulified by the fact that he 'chased' u [that me did whatever was possible to still have u like him even tho u'd said u wanted to be just friends]. however, he might still be trying to keep himself up, as in, trying to hold himself together while he goes trhu all the stuff he has [baby, mother of the baby, and whatever else he's going trhu]. in reference to the rest, what i meant to say was that u should sort out how u r feeling. give it some heavy thought, but don't keep ur brain in a single thing. explore other possibilities, consecuences, chances that those possibilities are true, etc. REAL HEAVY THINKING BUT WITHOUT GOING AROUND THE SAME IDEA ALL THE TIME. after u've done that, once u r sure [or at least with a better idea] of how u feel, talk to him, if that's what u wanna do. since u said u thought u should have said more, then do so, but like i said b4, do so AFTER u've given it some heavy thinking, AFTER u have it organized. heck, if it helps, imagine how the conversation would go and based on that decide what u want to tell him. that way u'll get that weight off ur chest. followed now? ^_^  

[Faerie Dreams]

Sotur

Faerie Dreams

Sotur

i'm not sure this is what u wanted, but here's what i think: u r feeling sad bcs u fee u turned him down even tho he said he made the mistake. maybe he really thinks he made a mistake by kissing u. but there's also the possibility that he's just saying that out of pride, perhaps trying to convice himself that it was a mistake. my point here is: perhaps he liked u a lot, but since u turned him down hes trying to keep himself up, considering he has the pressure of having a baby with his EX. anyway, well, how old r u? and how old is he? and i also think u should give it time. he IS, after all, undergoing A LOT of pressure right now, needless to say. but u also need to sort out what u feel. this isn't all about "wait-and-see". at least i think it's not. once u have figured out how u REALLY feel about him [bcs there's the possibility that u have have fallen for him thru ur innocent interactions. i'm saying so bcs with my boyfriend, we started going out as simply friends, we REALLY had no intention of getting together. in fact, we were helping each other out with some "relationship problems" [he wanted one with this girl, so i was trying to help him with that, and i had this guy who wanted to be with me, but i didn't want to, so he was helping me with that]. anyway, point is, we started out as merely friends, but in the process...we ended up falling for each other. point being: there's a possibility u fell for him. i wouldn't know, u'd need to tell me so that i'd know. but that's what i think. anyway, once u figure out what u really feel about him, u should go up to him and tell him. it's never too late. that thought of "i should have told him more" is exactly what u should do, TELL HIM MORE. but speak with him once u have it figured out, bcs there's no point in going on to babble about something u rn't sure of and end up saying something u don't mean or never meant to say...dunno if i babbled too much and u ended up not understanding...i hope u DID understand, if not, my bad, i'll be glad to explain myself further. anyway, hope that helped. ^_^

carry on, keep romancing

I am 16, and he is turning 18 in June... (not as bad as it seems, considering I'm born late in the year, the age difference isn't that large)
and I am trying to comprehend what you said, and the part where you said "since I turned him down he's trying to keep himself up" the thing is when I told him I only wanted to be friends he tried like more to make me fall for him, and it kinda succeeded...I think...but yeah, so I don't think it is the me saying I only wanted to be friends that made him act like this...because he knows he was succeeding in making me like him more sweatdrop

carry on, carry on dancing

ok...that does make it harder to explain, then. so he tried harder to have u like him...then maybe he's distancing himself now bcs he realized [one or another way] that being with u while he's gonna have a baby isn't the best option, for himself AND for the baby. so maybe now he's backing down to try and sort out how he feels, or he's doing it to try and BLOCK how he feels about u. i'm thinking there's a possibility he still likes u, but since it wouldn't be the best way to deal with the baby, the mother of the baby, etc. then he's backing down, ignoring how he feels, so he can try and sort that out. as for the trying to keep himself up, what i said is pretty much nulified by the fact that he 'chased' u [that me did whatever was possible to still have u like him even tho u'd said u wanted to be just friends]. however, he might still be trying to keep himself up, as in, trying to hold himself together while he goes trhu all the stuff he has [baby, mother of the baby, and whatever else he's going trhu]. in reference to the rest, what i meant to say was that u should sort out how u r feeling. give it some heavy thought, but don't keep ur brain in a single thing. explore other possibilities, consecuences, chances that those possibilities are true, etc. REAL HEAVY THINKING BUT WITHOUT GOING AROUND THE SAME IDEA ALL THE TIME. after u've done that, once u r sure [or at least with a better idea] of how u feel, talk to him, if that's what u wanna do. since u said u thought u should have said more, then do so, but like i said b4, do so AFTER u've given it some heavy thinking, AFTER u have it organized. heck, if it helps, imagine how the conversation would go and based on that decide what u want to tell him. that way u'll get that weight off ur chest. followed now? ^_^

carry on, keep romancing

yes, I will think about it more..

carry on, carry on dancing

 

[Arielace]

smooth move romeo? JK. Well if she isn't talking to you anymore then ofcorse theres something wrong. But as long as she isn't acting too different, you have nothin to worry about.  

[[Star Dust]]

I think you should prolly wait to tell him that you like him more than a friend ((or that you liked the idea of romance or whatever)) until the baby is born and everything is pretty calm. That way, he won't so confused. But.. I might be missin something so yeeeahh... sweatdrop
G'luck anyways! 3nodding