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I remember after my escape from bondage, I had became a difter. I was only a child, ten years of age, or so my body projected. Being that of my appearence, a boy, almost four foot two with jet black hair and wide childish eyes that lacked the most known trait; innocence. I felt many things under my tiny feet because I lacked shoes, from the comfort of grass to the burning of concrete. With no money, I often found shelter under a tree in the wilderness or sneak in in some ones barn when rest was of absolute must. For years, I had wandered aimless, any where but back to my white padded prison.
A dream... all to familar to the rest, had reminded me of my long forgotten past that I wish I had never remembered. I felt my heavy eyelids open only a bit. It was enough to see that my face was agaisnt the burning sand under my collasped body and the arid dry air worsen the conditions. "Am I... going to die here..." I had wish for death. It had only been a couple of months of aimless drifting through nothing that my body had givin up for me. Bitter taste of salvation, a moment of eternal relief, but it wasn't meant to be.
My eyelids had awoken again. Torn bits of cotton sheets acted as cushion from the ground below. And as my eyes tried to focus, some one was sittig over me, staring at me. A female, a girl with wide green eyes and hazel hair. She was fairly younger that me, or my physcal age at least; seven, almost 8 years old. I still remember, in my dream, what she said to me that day. "Ah, he's awake. Are you ok?" I remember moaning in response. To be honest, I was in a bit of shock. The eternal bliss of darkness was stolen away and replace with the light of life once more. With no words to say, nothing to do. I felt so empty. "Why am I still here." Reguardless of my silence, the girl spoke again. She was cheerful, although as I looked around, we seemed to been in an old, broken down barn of a provety stricken village. "Hi, my name is Mami, what's yours?" I continued to hold my tounge. I had no name, I was never offically givin one. X was a label.. Shinta was the name of the body... but I turned to the name of the body... to my 'mother' "...Shinta"
The girl proceeded to laugh. "My mommy says that's not your name. She says you have no name, is that true? My mommy says she knows your real name. Wouldn't you like to know it?" My eyes grew wider unwillingly as the force the truth from me. It was true, that wasn't my name. Be even more strange was the fact that we were the only two present in the old run down barn. "...I guess..." The girl jump up with delight with a big smile across her face."Ok. Your name is Rei! That's what my mommy said and she never lies." "...Rei..."
The turning point in my desperate quest for death without pain slowly turned a struggle for life. It was thanks to that girl... but as my dream had ended, I remember that I took far more than a 'name' to change my way of thinking... something... tragic had to follow... it always has.
Rei Kizuhara · Sun May 01, 2005 @ 05:01am · 2 Comments |
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