things that naruto characters would never say.
Things That SakuraWould Never Say
All Naruto disclaimers apply!
"Do my nails match my uniform?"
"Sure Naruto! I'll spend the night with you."
"Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke need some serious therapy."
"I hate the name of this series. Let me see... um ... I got it, I'll call it Sasuke's House of Sensual Pleasures."
"Hinata I like you much better than Naruto and Sasuke!"
"Shikumaru do you want to lose your virginity with me?"
"Hinata lets go out on a date!"
"I love Naruto!"
"Not tonight Iruka-sensei."
"I think I'll compete in beauty pageants."
"I want to fight in a Sailor Senshi outfit."
"Do you want to take a shower with me Naruto?"
"Wonder how much I could get for posing nude in Playboy?"
"I'd love to play strip poker with Squad 7."
"Put your clothes back on Sasuke! I'd rather see Kakashi-sensei naked."
"Naruto moving in my class was the best thing that's happened to me since I first came to this school."
Things That KakashiWould Never Say
All Naruto disclaimers apply!
"We have to take our clothes off to have a good time."
"Iruka, how many times do I have to tell you that I won't have sex with you?"
"My proposal to kick Naruto out of this school is a great idea."
"Naruto! Could you play one of your pranks on Sasuke?"
"You don't have to fight anymore, Naruto." "The Squad 7 is no more."
"I don't feel like sparring with you today, Sasuke."
”I resign.”
"Sakura, you shouldn't read Come Come Paradise... that's bad."
"Sakura do everyone a favor and get yourself a makeover.
"Naruto put your clothes back on!" "I want to see Sakura naked, not you."
"Doesn't the Squad 7 ever get a vacation?"
"Do you want to make a baby with me Sakura?"
Things That SasukeWould Never Say
All Naruto disclaimers apply!
"Can you give me a lap dance Naruto?"
"I love you, I love all of you!"
"Kakashi-sensei!" "You pervert!" * punches him in the face*
"How would you like it if I threw knives at you Kakashi-sensei?" *says while throwing knives at him*
"******** this school!"
"Sailor Neptune, could you be my shining thing?"
"Wonder if I could get a threesome with Naruto and Sakura?"
"I propose that we throw Kakashi-sensei out of office and have Iruka-sensei take his place."
"Take this headband and shove it!"
"I'll have whatever Kakashi-sensei is drinking."
"Get some therapy Naruto."
"Take my virginity Sakura!"
"Hey Kakashi-senseii! The middle ages called and said they want their clothes back."
"Sure Naruto! I'll spend the night with you."
"Who stole my Playboy ?"
Things That NarutoWould Never Say
All Naruto disclaimers apply!
"How would you like it if someone smacked you around!?" (says while smacking the people who've been bullying him around)
"I should show the teachers of this school a lot more respect."
"How can I get Iruka-sensei impeached?"
"Want to spend the night with me Sasuke?"
"Put your clothes back on Sakura!"
"Sakura, I can do you better than Sasuke can."
"Can't we just get along?"
"Have a nice day!"
"Hinata, do you want to be my girlfriend?"
"I should make it up to Sasuke"
"What's the point of fighting?"
"Me For President!"
"Sasuke and Sakura, let's impeach Kakashi-sensei."
"Get a life Iruka-sensei!"
"I really shouldn't abuse Sasuke."
Things That IrukaWouldNever Say
All Naruto disclaimers apply!
"I should stop sleeping around and be more faithful to Kakashi."
"I only play a pimp on TV."
"Naruto and Sakura! Get a room! I don't want to watch you two having sex!"
"Kakashi really does need some therapy."
"I need a new wardrobe! Everything I wear has pimp written all over it."
"Sasuke, Kakashi, Naruto, Hinata, Konohamaru and Sakura for the 100th time strip poker is banned."
"Sasuke your too young for me."
"Note to self, get a haircut."
" I rather watch 'Maid In Manhattan'."
"Yuck! I don't like bourbon! Naruto give me one of your milkshakes!"
"What would be a good punishment for Kakashi for not passing Naruto the first time?"
"Kakashi you shouldn't watch other people having sex. It's immoral and indecent."
"I resign my position as a teacher. You 4 drove me to it. *referring to the Naruto cast*
Things That HinataWould Never Say
All Naruto disclaimers apply!!
"Can't I wear contact lenses!?"
"I don't feel like being the silent one anymore!"
"Sakura, I'm moving back in with Sasuke."
"As far as I'm concerned the others can all die."
"No Sakura, I don't want to know what you and Kakashi did with a bottle chocolate syrup last night!"
"Iruka is ten times sexier than Naruto or Sasuke."
"I should turn Sakura into the police."
"Kakashi, I'm not in the mood tonight."
"I need a life."
"******** yourself!"
"Sensei aren't we going to do something else than spar together?"
-Kakashi: Obito, Obito, look! A candy shop! May we please go in,
please?!
-Obito: Oh, very well, Kakashi.
-Kakashi: Oh, joy!
-3rd Hokage: Hey Iruka... (snickers) Got milk?
-Iruka: Dangit, 3rd Hokage, give back my blasted milk!
-Jiraiya: Ho ho ho! Merry christmas!
-Itachi: Sweeeet....
-Sasuke: Oh well. Naruto is clearly stronger than me I better give up.
-Rock Lee: Heeeeey batter batter batter! C'mon! Pitcher's gotta big butt!
-3rd Hokage: I think I better start taking some Tylenol. This soar throat is starting to annoy me.
-Konohamaru: *playing video games* Yayayayayayayaya! *Naruto snatches the controls from him* Hey! You just killed me! *cries*
-Kakashi: Itachi? What? OH! Him! Now I remember...
-Zabuza: They sliced off my arm? I don't need this. GOOD-BYE!
-Iruka: Ninja? What the @&#$! is that?
-Gaara: *singing* Outback Stake house, no rules just right!
-Rock Lee: *singing* God bless America...my home sweet home!
-Naruto: Itachi? What's that some sorta cookie?
-Sasuke: *Arnold Swartzeneeger Voice* I am the Terminator!
-Naruto: *in a scared voice*...animals...they...are...so.....so...mean to me....I hate...the dark...*loud scarred breaths*....hehehe *psychotic laugh*
-Sakura: I could beat down Kakashi any day of the week!
-Naruto: That Konohamaru guy was really tough. I mean WHOA! I thought he had me beat for a minute there.
-Dyslexic Sasuke: OTURAN
-Gaara: *English Accent* I am actually British.
-Jiraiya: *Cleaning his outfit* Damn spaghetti stains!
-Jiraiya: *Scottish Accent* Course I'm no happy. Iz got biggerz tities dan yuu! I gotz more chinz than a chia knees phone book!
-Naruto: *Scottish accent* First things first! Where's ya sh*tter? I got a turtle head poken' out!
-Sasuke: My favorite is Tinky Winky... what's yours Naruto?
-Naruto: Uh... I don't watch Teletubbies.
-Sasuke: What?! *beats up Naruto*
-Iruka: I have my mother's hips, and I have to accept that.
-Kakashi: Eggs... flour... butter... I love baking.
-Naruto: Unko IWUKA! Let's go to da circus an' see da clowns!
-Iruka: Sure kid!
-Sakura: Hi senseii!
-Kakashi: Kakashi! The name is Kakashi!
-Sasuke: I'm a people person.
-Naruto: Hey guys leave Sasuke alone! When you get right down to it
he's not such a bad guy!
-Iruka and Kakashi at mall: How YOU doin?!
*There is a moon seen*
-Rock Lee: What the hell..?
-Kakashi: That can't be! There's no full moon tonight!
*Naruto is seen bending over to pick up a penny*
-Zabuza: What are you tryin' to tell me? That I can dodge blasts?
-Kakashi: Once you're ready, you won't have to...((seen The Matrix?))
-Oneesan no Miroku Houshi: No, I'm not going to write another repetitive, boring, obvious line... honest.
-Itachi: I'm going to kill you Naru....OOOOOH! Bubble Wrap!
-Konohameru: Hey Naruto...OH! F*** IT!
-Naruto: Gee guys, I don't know ... that double Whopper looks awfully big.
*In an AA meeting*
-Kakashi: I'm Kakashi and I'm an alcoholic
-Iruka: I'm Iruka and I'm a homosexual.
-Kakashi: Wrong building Iruka!
-Iruka: Oops......
-Sasuke: Itachi! Take off that STUPID hand puppet!
-Itachi: It's the only was for me to cope with my emotions. ::Whispering:: Don't listen to him Mr.Hat...
-Sakura: Is that your final answer?
-Kakashi: Welcome to dieting with the Jounin! Well start with a fresh water salad, tossed in a light vinaigrette of H2O, and we'll cap it off with a side of water!
-Sasuke: Hey Sakura, do you wanna go on a date?
-Sakura: No thanks...
-Kakashi: Hey look! My scar! It's really just an old scratch-and-sniff sticker. Mmmm....strawberry.
-Grown Naruto: (to Chibi Naruto) Ha ha! You suck! Oh, wait...
-Gai: I'm dead sexy! (ala Fat b*****d)
-Sakura: Naruto, Got Milk?
-Kakashi: On your Nose... I mean... Toes! Toes!... Damn, Sakura, Never mind!
-Iruka: .... and please leave a message after the tone, thanks a lot.
-Itachi:*mumbling* Stupid preacher, he can't tell ME he's not open for confessions today...
-3rd Hokage: *Sigh* I wish there was more to my life...
-Sasuke: Damn VCR...I can never get it to stop flashing 12:00!
-Sasuke: (singing) We're off fight
-Naruto: And I'm sure to get a brain...
-Sasuke: ...A heart...
-Sakura: ...Back home...
-Kakashi: ...The nerve!!
-Konohamaru: Now.. If I just carry the two.....then.....AH HA!! It takes 3 people to screw in a light bulb!!
-Rock Lee: I'm blue da ba dee ba ba di da ba de da ba di da ba di!!
-Iruka: Yeah, I had a bad experience with a tanning lamp when I was little...
-Sakura: *Gazing at herself in the mirror* I have such cute pores.
-3rd Hokage: (in a limo)**with a cheesy English accent** Pardon me, but do you happen to have any Gray Poupon?
-Sakura:**singing to Sasuke and Naruto** What a girl wants, what a girl needs. Whatever makes me happy sets you free.....
-Sasuke: Sakura, I love you with all my heart. Say You'll be mine or my life won't be worth living.
-Sakura: **yawns** Oh I'm sorry, but I like Iruka-sensei, not YOU! Please remove yourself from my sight.
-Sakura: *Going through the laundry, Sakura holds up a thong* Sasuke, What's this?
-Sasuke: Don't ask me, it's not mine. :Silence: Ask Naruto.
-Naruto: Damn you, Sasuke!
-Iruka: Wow, something smells like kiwi and lime!
-Kakashi runs his hands through his hair and blushes.
-Kakashi: I just changed my shampoo! Can you really notice?
*Naruto is sitting in his room, rolling weed in paper. Iruka and Kakashi walk in.*
-Naruto: Iruka-sensei! Kakashi-sensei! This...this isn't what you think!
-Iruka: It's alright Naruto. Me and Kakashi-san smoke doobies from time to time!
-Naruto: Really?!
-Kakashi: Oh yes! Don't the 3rd Hokage's look a "bit" off? Besides, it's what gives you your blonde hair and me my silver hair!
*Shikumaru is sitting in Hinata's room with Sakura and Ino. They are braiding his super long hair.*
-Hinata & Sakura: Make-overs are SO fun!!!
*Konohamaru and Naruto are playing "Super Smash Bros." for the N64.*
-Konohamaru: The Starman! Naruto, its time to smash your a**...
*Dramatic pause*
-Konohamaru: INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION!!!
-Kakashi to Sakura: Who's your Jounin?...Say it!
-Sakura: You are...do we have to play this game every time?
-Kakashi: YES!
-Naruto: *Looking into mirror* Who's the hot and sexy future Hokage? Yes, YOU are big daddy!
-Kakashi: *Yelling from another room* Naruto! Who are you talking to?
-Naruto: Nothing Kakashi-sensei! Shut up! *Starts to whisper* Damn, I'm sexy...
-Jiraiya: Get in my belly! I'm higher in the food chain than you!!
-Rock Lee: This is how the world's strongest fighter Gai eats a Reese's peanut butter cup.
-Gai: (Touches it and the peanut butter cup is instantly dissolved)
-Rock Lee: There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's peanut cup.
-Itachi: Hey, Minime, Come here!
-Sasuke: *Runs away in a minime outfit* Aaaaah!
-Kakashi: *holds up a bottle herbal essences* Yup ... a totally orgasmic...er... ORGANIC experience! :icon_biggrin.gif:
-Hinata: The hills are alive...with the sound of muuusic....
-Sasuke: (at the pet store) Please Naruto! I swear I'll take care of him!
-Shikamaru: Kakashi-sensei? Where's your Icha Icha Paradise book? I wanna see!
-Kakashi: Sorry, Shikamaru. I threw them away. They suddenly disgust me!
-Shikamaru: Awww man!
Ino:~With Tears in eyes~ "Why?, This is such a cruel world, Everyone is always picking on him, I can still hear their voices: Silly Rabbit Trix are for kids, I mean .. why couldn't they just give the poor bunny some Trix?"
-Gai:"Hey Rock Lee... does this Dress make me look fat.. I mean I don't think red is my color!"
(Neji and Gaara walking in Pet store together) -Neji: "Oh Gaara can we pretty please get the cute little bunny..pretty pwease..wook at duh cute wittle bun bun..cute wittle bun bun..hehehehehe"
-Iruka "Ugh, Kakashi Gimme a break"
-Kakashi "Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that Kit-Kat Bar, That chocolaty taste gonna make your day, and everywhere you go you hear the people say..."
-Iruka(annoyed):"Kakashi ..... Shut Up!!"
-Kakashi(Gasps)"You hurt my wittle feelings.. I am gonna tell your mommy what you did!! ...you bad wittle boy!!!!"
-Itachi running around in pink little underwear-"But mommy ... I don't want to go to school today....I want to stay home and bake cookies with you!"
-Jiraiya -"Ok Naruto I will give you till the count of 3 to get on that bed And........... DO THE HOKEY POKEY WITH ME ..YAY!!!"
-Sasuke:*Talks in sleep* "I am a strong and confident woman"
-Gaara*In a Luke Skywalker costume holding up sword and acting brave* "No need to worry little lady .. I will find Darth Vader ... and Set you free!!!"
-Sakura:*Has Eyes closed*"Umm.....Mister Brave....You want to put some pants and underwear on"
-Ino*Wearing nothing but a diaper and holding a blanket* "But Shikamaru I still don't understand why you want a divorce??!!"
-Sakura*Spying on Kakashi undressing* "Oooooh yeah that's it ....come on ...come on...take it off"
-(Sasuke Lying on a bed next to a doctors desk)-Sasuke(Talking to Doctor) "and..when I was five...I got hit in the head with a wooden swing..*Tears start to poor out of her eyes* all the kids started to laugh and point at me..."
-(Iruka, Jiraiya and Kakashi all sitting on a couch)"Ok ok its my turn...." *Jiraiya walking like a sexy lady*
-Iruka:"PRETTY WOMAN!!!!"
-Kakashi:"God..That woman who plays that pretty woman girl is soo gay..now her boyfriend...."
-Hinata:" I am Sorry ... I really am ..But that is what they all are saying about you!"
-Iruka:"I am so embarrassed....How could anyone think I am not Gay??"
-*Naruto and Sasuke in a small little girls room playing with Barbie dolls*
-Naruto:*Talking in a girls voice* "Ok Ken...I wanna go to the mall...I want to get lots of perfume and makeup!"
-Sasuke: *Talking in a deep mans voice* "Ok Barbie ..but right after I Go ask this guy if he will go out with me!"
-*Kakashi trying to do sit-ups and Sakura at his feet holding them down*
-Kakashi:"I can't. I just cant do anymore.."
-Sakura:"Ugh.... If you do 5 more ..I will flash ya"
-Kakashi:*Trying very hard to do more* "One....T..w..w.o.... two and a half....two and three quarters....Accckk..*Collapses, Breathing hard*... ok ..just show me one of them!"
*Haku, Zabuza and Itachi at a store picking out costumes*
-Itachi:" NO! I wanna be the ballerina!!"
-Naruto:"Iruka-sensei gimme a big smooch right here on the cheek for good luck!"
-Sasuke: *Freaking out* "I CANT BELIVE IT!!!! SOMEONE PUT HAIR REMOVER IN MY HAIR GEL!! NO ONE WILL REST UNTILL I FIND OUT WHO DID THIS!!!"
-Jiraiya: *Sniffles* "I love those green turtles. They are my heroes!! COWABUNGA!!"
-Gaara:"GO GO POWER RANGERS!!!"
-Neji:"I HAVE DONE IT!!!! I HAVE COUNTED ALL OF MY FINGERS AND TOES!! I AM A GENIUS!!"
-Hinata: I confess. I was in the Wizard of Oz.
-Gai *to Rock Lee*: You are my fire, the one desire.....
-Sasuke: How do you like my new pink tutu, Naruto?
-Naruto: It's pretty Sasuke! Where'd you get it?
-Sasuke: Can't you believe it? I got it at Ross for 3.00!
-Gaara: Excuse me, sir, do you have this dress in pink?
-Sakura: YOU'RE WHAT??????
-Kakashi: Don't get mad at me Sakura....*scared to death*
-Sakura: You mean to tell me that you're taking sensitivity classes with Sasuke? And that you're gonna marry him next week? *laughs*
-Kakashi: What the hell is funny about that? I'm serious!
-Naruto and Sakura (having sex, singing): "Coz tonight, is the night.. When 2 become oneee..."
-Zabuza: "AHH!! A SPIDER!! SOMEBODY KILL IT!!" *runs away in panic*
-Ino: "Damnit it's stuck hard.. Shikamaru, could you open this darn bottle of jam for me?"
-Naruto (standing with one hand on his hip, the other hand out in front of him): "Oh! Oh, my gosh, would you look at that? I broke a nail! Now what am I supposed to do??"
-Kakashi: "I hate water."
- Haku: Hey, Itachi, where'd you get that kickin' "Badman" shirt??
- Itachi: Like it? It was in a JC Penney's catalog, believe it or not!
- Haku: No s**t? You gotta give us the order number, man!
- Sakura: I will not fear, fear is the mind killer...
- Kakashi ,Sakura ,Hinata and Iruka: One more bored lesbian loves/gay sensei crack and it's DYIN' TIME TONIGHT! Got that, you hentai sickos??
- 3rd Hokage: Oh, "In & Out"? I just LOVE that movie! Kevin Kline is an absolute DREAM! Why do you ask?
- Fans: Uh, no reason, no reason at all... (innocent whistling)
- Zabuza: (after cutting up foot soldiers) As you can see, the Blade isn't even scratched after all that use! And it's guaranteed to continue working for at least ONE MILLION cuts without tarnishing, or your money back!
- Hinata: Oh, WOW! That's SO COOL! Neji, let's get one!
- Neji: Hmmm, I dunno... we've got some pretty good knives at home.
Sing-along time!
- TenTen: The time has come at last, to throw away my mask so everyone can see my true identity! (rips face off, revealing gore and circuitry) I'm KILROY! KILROY! KILROY! (falls to ground) Kilroy... (dies) [Styx, Mr. Roboto]
- Sakura ,Naruto ,Kakashi and Sasuke: Just the two of us... we can make it if we try, just the two of us, you and I. [Will Smith]
- Gaara: I am the cult of, I am the cult of, I am the cult of: PER SON AL I TY! [Heck, I have no clue]
- Rock Lee: Gonna dress you up in my love.
- Ino, Shikamaru and Naruto: All over, all over.
- Rock Lee: Gonna dress you up in my love.
- Ino ,Shikamaru and Naruto: All over your body.
- Sasuke: All over your body... [following a trend...]
- Sakura: I'm a b***h
- Jiraiya: I'm a lover
- Naruto: I'm a child
- Ino: I'm a mother
- Kakashi: I'm a sinner
- 3rd Hokage: I'm a saint
- Sasuke: I do not feel ashamed [version one]
- Ino: I'm a b***h
- Sakura: I'm a tease
- Kurenai: I'm a goddess on my knees
- Iruka: When you hurt, when you suffer
- Naruto: I'm your angel undercover
- Gaara: I am up (?)
- Gai: I'm revived
- Kakashi: Can't say I'm not alive
- All: You know you wouldn't want it any other way [version two]
- Gai: I eat too much, I drink too much, I want too much, TOO MUCH! [Dave Matthews Band]
- Neji: Sing us a song, you're the piano man, sing us a song tonight, for we're all in the mood for a melody, and you've got us feeling all right... [Billy Joel]
- Naruto: Billie Jean is not my lover, she's just a girl who knows that I am the one [Michael Jackson]
- Ino: Three, oh, it's the magic number... [Schoolhouse Rock]
- Kakashi: And it'll happen once again, I'll turn to a friend, someone who understands, sees through the master plan, but everybody's gone, and I've been here for too long to take this on my own, well I guess this is growing up [Blink 182]
- Sasuke: I want something else to get me through this semi-charmed kind of life [heh, guess who?]
- Zabuza: Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch who watches over you, make a little birdhouse in your soul [They Might Be Giants!]
- Gai: The beautiful people, the beautiful people, it's all anatomic as the size of your steeple. Ca-pit-a-lism, has made it this way, old-fashioned facism will TAKE IT AWAY! [Marilyn Manson]
END SING ALONG
-*Naruto is galloping through the woods pretending he is on a horse dressed as King Arthur. Kakashi follows him making horse galloping noises with coconuts. They see -Itachi, dressed as the Black Night ahead of them*
-Naruto: Hey pal! *keeps skipping back*
-Itachi: No one shall pass!
-Kakashi: Let's turn back.
-Naruto: No! *tries to pass, but Itachi slashes his sword in front of Naruto*
-Itachi: No one shall pass!
-Naruto: Fine! *Naruto and Itachi start fighting. Naruto cuts off Itachi's arm.*
-Itachi: Gasp!
-Naruto: Now step aside...
-Itachi: I can still fight! *Fight starts again and Naruto cuts off Itachi's other arm*
-Naruto: You can't fight now. We will call it a draw.
-Itachi: Tis' a small wound. C'mon, let's fight chicken. *starts kicking Naruto*
-Naruto: SHUT UP ALREADY! *cuts off Itachi's legs and kicks him in the groin. Kakashi and he walk off*
-Itachi: Come back and fight like a man! Haha!! (aka Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail)
-Kermit the Frog: Hello, this is Kermit the Frog reporting from Konoha Village. Here are my new co-anchors Jiraiya and Naruto.
-Both: Hi!!
-Sakura: Hey everyone! I found my long lost sisters: CereCere, ParaPara, JunJun, and VesVes!
-Anko :Everyone in Konoha is asking: Who is Mr. Pita?
-Itachi: I don't eat or give a flying f*ck!
-Naruto: No idea, but he is surely can't fight as well as me.
-Ino: Get away from me, you slutty b*tch!
-Kakashi: *looks down at his chicken salad sandwich in pita bread and sniffs* I just ate him. Sasuke, I killed Mr. Pita!
-*It is Christmas time! Kakashi decides to get a job to pay the bills*
-Kakashi: Hohoho! Who is next?
-Chibi Usa (Rini): *jumps on his lap*
-Kakashi: And what do you want for Christmas little girl?
-Chibi Usa (Rini) I want you to resurrect my friend Hotaru who killed herself to save the world.
-Kakashi: Um, ugh. Sorry, can't do that!
-Chibi Usa (Rini): WHAT! *kicks him, jumps off, and gives him the finger*
-Kakashi: Brat! Next! *Ino comes on his lap shyly* Why hello, little girl. What do you want for Christmas?
-Ino: Barbies, a dolly, a book with a doggie, my own doggie...*goes on for an hour*
-Kakashi: Okay, that's enough. Does Sakura want to sit on my lap?
-Ino: Pervert! *punches Kakashi and runs off crying*
-Itachi: *gets on Santa Kakashi's lap* Hiya, Santa.
-Kakashi: Aren't you a little too old for this?
-Itachi: Oh Santa Kakashi! All I have ever wanted to be was a real boy!
-Santa Kakashi: *sighs* This is going to be a long day.
-Zabuza: *Running around in dress up clothes* I am a pretty pretty princess!
-Haku: ZABUZA!
-Itachi: Haku, Zabuza won't let me wear the Hello Kitty Skirt!
-Haku: Zabuza, how many times do I have to tell you to share! Up to your room right now, mister!
-Neji: Umm, why do I look like Dr. Tomoe? ((Dr.Tomoe is Sailor Saturn's father))
-Naruto: *Dressed up like a flower in a ballet recital* I am Princess Posey!!! Hehe!
-Kakashi: *the same* I am Lady Lilac!
-Sasuke: *ditto* I am Duchess Daisy!
-Rock Lee: *walks out in his normal clothes with flower petals around his head* I am Primrose Pixie...and I don't remember how I was put up to this.
-Naruto: I like Ike!
-Sakura: I like Ike!
-Naruto cast: WE ALL LIKE IKE! ((aka an old Dwight D. Eisenhower campaign thing))
-Kakashi: Don't snap the wrappings, dammit!
-Ino: *her wig blows off*
-Shikamaru: Now I remember when you went for that Sinead O'Connor look!
-Ino: I am the reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe, don't you know!
-Iruka and Itachi: *singing* We are quicker than the ray of light!
-Gaara: *singing* Please don't talk to the lifeguard! Please don't talk to the lifeguard! Says the sign where I go to swim. How can I get to know him! How can I get to show him that I am so much in love with him! ((This is a real song))
-Kakashi: *looking through a Victoria's Secret's catalogue in the bathroom* I didn't know Sakura modeled!
-Haku: Hey, Zabuza wanna go catch a movie?
-Zabuza: Sorry, gotta go sharpen my teeth.
-Michiru: Haruka, where are you?
-*sees Haruka kissing Ino*
-Michiru: *transforms into Sailor Neptune and beats up Ino*
-Itachi: There is really one thing that I really fear...*looks around and whispers* Furbies.
-Naruto: No one likes me. Everybody hates me! Guess I'll go eat worms.
-Naruto cast: Not a bad idea! How right you are!
-Naruto: Not funny! WAHHH!
-Sakura: Kakashi, I am pregnant with 4 kids.
-Kakashi: Yippie skippie! *jumps up and down with happiness*
-Gaara: Comon Anko...just one more
-Anko: No!
-Gaara: But ...need more...going...into...withdraw...
(curls into the fetal position)
-Anko: Don't you see Gaara, this vicious cycle of addiction has to stop!
-Gaara: (rocking back and forth) ... need Pez need Pez gotta have Pez...
-Iruka: Man, what a kegger. Talk about a hangover.
(hears someone in the bathroom) Huh?!?!
-Kakashi: (walks in with a toothbrush in his mouth and tying the belt on a fuzzy pink robe) Morning sweetheart used your toothbrush hope you don't mind. And look what I found in the back of the closet. Doesn't it look just adorable on me. (twirls around then goes back to brushing his teeth)
-Iruka: (faints)
-Sakura: (peaks out from behind the bathroom door) Did he fall for it?
-Kakashi: Yup. That'll teach him to puke on me. Make sure you grab his wallet on the way out; he's paying
the dry-cleaning bill.
-Sakura: Okay, Oh and Kakashi-sensei... CHEEZ!! (snaps a picture)
-Kakashi: AHHHHH!!! (Chases after Sakura)
-Itachi: What do you think of my "4th eye" Haku?
-Kakashi: A tattoo and a few piercings would go great with this haircut.
-Kakashi: No Naruto, the barber didn't screw up again!
-Jiraiya: I'm gonna be the one on TV, lookin all buff..BEEFCAKE..BEEFCAKE!
-Hinata: When I walk in I'm going to drop you with a Stone Cold Stud Stunner..and that's the bottom line!
-Itachi: This Hitler guy kicked serious a**!
-Shikamaru: The hair is just an expression of myself!
-Naruto: No you can't use me for a bowling ball!
-Iruka:...might sell well bottled...
-Sasuke: Jeeze..all this fire flaring up around me is gonna give me a bad sunburn.
-3rd Hokage: I did not engage is sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky!
-Gaara: Why did they make my head look like a beehive?
-Jiraiya: No, I did not enjoy gazing at and drooling over Kurenai's genitalia.
-Itachi- Kakashi is gay
-(Sakura and Kakashi are in bed, doing well....)
-Kakashi- Sakura…
-Sakura- Kakashi, you're so hot
-Kakashi- Sakura
-Sakura- Oh Kakashi....
Naruto(To Sakura, at Sasuke's funeral)- he called you Ino again, didn't he?
-Haku- Spiffy!
-3rd Hokage- Macho man?! I wanna be a ballerina!
-Kakashi- I wanna be just like my father
-Hinata-@#$!?^^(%)@!#$$%%&*#&%*(!!!
-Sakura- the way to a man's heart is through his stomach
-Sasuke- no wonder the only man you could get was Jiraiya!
-Naruto- Hey, what's your favorite anime?
-Sasuke- Sailor Moon, it's so cool and I love Neo Queen Serenity's dress. I'm in love with Usagi.
-Kakashi- I like Ranma, it's hilarious!
-Sakura- I like Naruto, cause I'm in it.
-Iruka- Uhhh....Armitage, definitely. She's hot-
-Gaara- Well, I like Slayers, cause well, its Slayers. Do I have to give a reason?
-Ino-:::Starts singing "Give a Reason":::
-Kakashi-:::reading this list::: Heh...HaHAHAAAA- That was good!
::: looks at next one::: WHAT?! Me and Naruto, LOVERS?! Why that....
-Itachi- :::confessing his sins:::
-Iruka: Well, I guess it's time to get to work... *puts on purple feathered hat*
-Naruto: Well, I guess it's time to get to work... *puts on very short mini skirt and tight blouse*
-Kakashi: Re....Place...Ment..........Ju..........Tsu..........ummm......DAMMIT!
-Neji: Time for some bitchin' music!
-Naruto: I'm gonna bust a move! *begins break dancing*
-Ino (in Iria-like voice): I really need to take a shower...
-Rock Lee: I'm gonna beat yo' a**, Gai!
-Gai: Holy sh-
-Kakashi: Chidori! *whips out a gun*
-Rest of Naruto-Team: Uhhh....
-Kakashi: Cooool.
-Neji at the checkout station: Don't worry, I'll be back! (in terminator voice)
-Rock Lee: It's not my fault I'm green! My mom married the Jolly Green Giant, ok?!
-Naruto: Man, I knew I should have rubbed Gaara's head before I took that test!
-Rock Lee: Miracle grow worked for me! Now I'm nice and tall! Heehee!
-Jiraiya: Shut up!!
-Sasuke to Kakashi: What do you call that lovely hair color we want to try some.
-Neji: I think I'll give up fighting and learn to play the flute
-Anko: Lets all go to DEB these clothes are ridiculous
-Naruto: free ramen, no thanks
-Zabuza singing: And peace on Earth good will to men
-Iruka: Come on Naruto lets go fight some villains
-Naruto: Not right now can't you see what time it is
-Iruka: What Barney is coming on push over on the couch I can't miss this
<Both sit on the couch and start singing I love you, you love me....>
-Itachi: "I really feel masculine today. It is just too bad that I act, look like, and sound like a woman. Not even changing a few times can change me now."
-Kakashi-Icha Icha Paradise should be banned
-Jiraiya-I'm joining the NBA
*Naruto mows lawn and hits something* Oops, sorry Sasuke-your bottom half will grow back.
-Haku: Just because my genitals were blasted off in a freak accident doesn't mean I'm female!
-Sasuke: I'm seeing triple.
-Gaara to all female characters: You only need two of my balls to make any wish you want!
-Dr. Brown (Back to the Future): Iruka, we must go back in time to stop the androids and reunite your parents at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance!!
-*Kakashi scalps Zabuza*:You won't be needing this!!
-Naruto: Maybe it's about time I settled down and started working on that novel I've wanted to do. After all, that Sasuke jealousy thing is getting a bit old.
-Neji: Ever since that accident at the bubble gum factory, my life hasn't been the same since.
-Naruto: It displeases me that you underestimate my managerial potential. I have you know that in addition to my expansive knowledge of the martial arts, I also have a Ph.D. in computer engineering. So excuse me as I seek my pursuit for an occupation elsewhere.
-*Naruto watches porno*: Oh no, It can't be!! *Kakashi's on screen with Ino, Sakura, and Shikamaru while Funimation music plays in background*
-Gaara to Hinata: Look at the size of this booger!!
-Zabuza: "I don't need anybody else, cause when I think of Kakashi I touch myself."
-3rd Hokage-Hi kids!
-Sakura and Naruto- Hi Uncle Bill!
-3rd Hokage-Listen, I've got a surprise for you two...
-Sakura-Chocolate cake?
-Naruto-With marshmallows?
-3rd Hokage-No, this surprise is about my nose. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to get myself a nose ring.
-Sakura and Naruto- **Stunned silence** (ala Nick-at-Night commercial)
-Kakashi- Dad, I have to say one thing after all these years together. BEER ME!!!
-Naruto- Bud
-Kakashi-Wise
-Sasuke-Er
-Naruto-Bud
-Kakashi-Wise
-Sasuke-Er
-Gai-**Blasts Sasuke** Coors
-Zabuza-**holding up 2 fingers** Peace man.
-Iruka -Propecia! It worked for me, it'll work for you!! **cheesy grin**
-Background voices- Proooopecia!
-Naruto-**Relating his past life** And then when I was 10 I got contact from a lady-man alien saying that I'll fight him one day and so I says to him, I says...
-Sakura- Oh shut up and kiss me!!
-Naruto- That's right!!!! How did you know??
-Sakura- Ummmmm.... Forget it.
-Gaara- I'm just mad about Saffron
-Neji- She's just mad about me
-Gaara- I'm just mad about Saffron
-Neji-An' she's just mad about me
-Everybody- They call me mellow yellow..... They call me mellow yellow....
-Ino- Shikamaru, what time is it?
-Shikamaru- Why Ino, it's time to play "What's in my Pants?"
-Kakashi- **Leans closer to the T.V.** Oh, I love this show!!!
-Naruto-I'm off to join a band savage of circus clowns!! **Walks out the door**
-Kakashi- Just be back before 10...
-Konohamru- Ooooh, I am the strongest in Naruto!! No one can beat meeeeeee!!
'Cause I'm the strongest, stronger than anyone, strongest in Naruto!!!!
-Naruto- Think you can back those words up?
-Konohamru-HAAAAAAIIII- YA!!!! **slams Naruto in the gut** HOW DO YA LIKE THEM APPLES??!!!!
-Naruto-**Doubles over and falls down**
On a Dating Show....
-Sakura- Bachelor #1, I like looooong strolls in the moonlight. What do you enjoy?
-Iruka- Well, I get turned on by making animal noises.
-Sakura-Oooookay... Bachelor #2, If I gave you $20, what would you spend it on?
-Naruto- I'd buy a rabid pit bull!!!!
-Sakura- Why?
-Naruto- 'Cause I get turned on by danger!!!
-Sakura- Ooookay then.... Bachelor #3, what turns you on?
-Kakashi- SAKURA??!!!!
-**Hinata**- You know, I'm really just getting sick of this silent role.
-Naruto: "I want cherries in my Bud-Light Kakashi!
-Kakashi: "I always wanted to see my daddy again. <starts to cry..>I miss him a lot and I WANT HIM BBAACCKKK.. huhhhuhuuuhhuhu!
-Naruto: "Sasuke dear, would you please take this glass over to Kakashi and ask him if we can borrow some milk please?
-Sasuke: "Why yes dear! Anything to help my beautiful human (which I adore..) husband, in fact I'll get over there as soon as possible, just for you!"
-Kakashi - Screw you, dad!
-Kakashi - I hope no one notices my comb-over...
-Naruto - Hey, can someone help me find my clown shoes and rubber nose?
-Ino - Ooh, Shikamaru, that feels gooood....
-Ino - School bites, I'm gonna become a PRO WRESTLER! WOOO!!!
-Kakashi - Well, Naruto, it's like this. You're a wuss. Plain and simple.
::In a movie theater::
-Bond- The name's Bond, James Bond.
::Later at Sasuke's home::
-Sasuke- The name's.... uh..... Itachi, what's my last name?
-Zabuza- Maybe I should open up a "Slice off Body Parts" booth at the fair. It'd let people get rid of pent up frustration
-TV Announcer- Hinata has become the new MVP!
-Kakashi- Leggo my Eggo!
-Naruto- Uh... no.
-Kakashi- Chidori...
-Naruto- Here! Take it!
::looking in fridge::
-Naruto- Beer? Who put this in here? Finally, something better than those freakin' sports drinks! ::Chugs it down::
::Later, when Naruto is practicing a jutsu::
-Naruto- Ug... urkk...... ::Spews in midair and spins repeatedly through it::
::Hinata knocks on Iruka and Sakura's bedroom door::
-Sakura- Go away! We're... uh..... sparring!
-Hinata- Let me watch!
::Opens the door::
-Hinata- AHHH!!!!!
-Kakashi- Okay, I'm in for a game. Anyone got dice?
::Everyone stares at Naruto::
-3rd Hokage- If Naruto uses the Sexy-jutsu to much, it might destroy him!
-Naruto- Sexy no Jutsu times 50!!! *BOOM*
::At House:
-Naruto- ::In the bathroom:: -drrrrrr...
-Sakura- What's with him?
-Shikamaru- Heh..... I slipped him some Ex-Lax.
-Sasuke- Kakashi-sensei, are you having a bad hair day?
-Kakashi- Actually, I thought it was a GOOD hair day!
-Jiraiya- Okay, that'll be 5 million credits. Thank you for using Jiraiya's Ninja Cleaners! Come again!
::Back when Obito took the hit For Kakashi and the others::
-Kakashi- Maybe we should actually move out of the way...
-Zabuza- Oh no, my soaps are almost on! Gotta hurry up! ::Chops a hole through Tazuna, Naruto ,Sakura, Sasuke and Kakashi's heart:: I'm done!
::When Naruto uses Sexy Jutsu::
-Iruka- ACK! We need some censor bars over here.....
-Kakashi- Hah hah! We were actually in a video game!
-Naruto- Yeah!
-Sakura- Guys, just shut up!
-Sasuke- It was just the Genesis anyway!
-Neji- ReBoot!
-3rd Hokage- Iruka and Kakashi, rents due.
-Sasuke- Dude! What smells so good?!?!?!?!?!
-Gaara- It's comin' right for us!
-Neji- No! my number is not (666) 666-6666! Geez... my parents were idiots.
-Sasuke- No Naruto, you take all the credit....
-Zabuza- I hope you're both wearing clean underwear....
-Naruto- I am!
-Kakashi- Yep, me too!
-Sasuke- Uhh....
-Naruto- Now the Itachi is in HFIL.
-Sasuke- HFIL?
-Kakashi- What's next, EUDK?
-Sasuke- EUDK?
-Kakashi- Think about it. Move the E and D one letter...
-Sasuke- Oh, I get it.... FU
-Naruto- Fudgecicles?
-Gai- Screw you guys, I'm going home...
-Itachi- Kakashi, I... am... uhh.... attracted... to you....
-Sasuke- Holy sh*t!
-Itachi- I'm sorry Sasuke...
-Sasuke- No, this rocks!
-Zabuza- You failed driving lessons! You've failed cooking lessons! Are you gonna fail Math lessons next Itachi?
-Kakashi- Hey Naruto, can I borrow your car?
-Naruto- You can't drive!
-Gai - "Why aren't I on ESPN's '50 Greatest Athletes' list?"
-Rock Lee (singing) - "Come sail away,
Come sail away,
Come sail away with me, lads...."
-Anko - "You're terminated, f***er!"
-Kakashi - "Sakura, never EVER invite that Naruto to our house for Thanksgiving dinner again! That big fat idiot practically ate us out of house and home!"
-Ben Stein - "Welcome back to Win My - Ben Stein's - Money. Of our illustrious contestants, Gaara, Shikamaru, and Naruto, only Naruto here has managed to take away any of my five thousand dollars so far...."
-Iruka - "You know, being Space Ghost's sidekick all of those years really scarred me for life. That's why I spent so much time in the Outback, bleached my hair and got this amazing orange tan."
-Gaara - "Why doesn't Rick Hunter just get Lisa and Minmei in a threesome?"
-Naruto - "I'm an excellent driver-definitely an excellent driver...Wapner in five minutes!"
-Itachi - "BIG POPPA PUMP IN DA HOUSE!!!!!"
-Naruto - "Hit me with that f***ing book again, and I'll turn it sideways and stick it straight up your candy-@$$!!!"
-Jiraiya - "I dare you!"
-Squad 7,while walking (in unison)-
"COBRA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!"
-Zabuza - "No more, Kakashi! Grant me mercy, I beg of you!"
-Kakashi - "You, who are without mercy, now plead for it yourself? F*** off, already!"
-Haki (pinching his nipples) - "I am as happy as a little girl!"
-Iruka - "Claude Lemieux is such a handsome fellow, don't you think?"
-Sasuke - "Have some cheese!"
-Hinata - "You suck, you jackass!!!"
-Gaara - "So, Rini, you time-travel often?"
-Rock Lee - "I never liked that moon, anyway. It wasn't green enough!"
-Sasuke: (upon looking at last month's survey) Yes! I won!! *jumps around happily and then goes off in search of Naruto*
-Naruto sad upon looking at last month's survey) eep! *counts seconds till Sasuke shows up*
-Kakashi: "Zabuza! Stop beating up Naruto's friends! You're making him angry!"
-Naruto: "Of course you are stronger than I, Sasuke, it was meant to be..."
-Jiraiya: "Taxi!"
-Naruto: (Training) "Must *pant* push myself. *pant* Must *pant* become stronger than Kakashi-sensei *pant*....."
-Sasuke:"I better just stay in here... The others can fight Itachi themselves..."
-Kakashi: "Hello, Naruto-Sesnei."
-Ino: (Licking the bottom of one of the hundreds of bowls on the table, belly bulging and soy sauce all over her face) "I'm still hungry Naruto! Bring me more rice!"
-Naruto: (Cooking with one hand and washing dishes frantically with the other) Just a minute! *pant, pant* I'm trying to hurry! *pant*..."
-3rd Hokage: (Counts to ten)
-Naruto: "OH MY KAMI! (Hides his nakedness, having climbed out of a lake) Don't look! Turn away! Geez, I'm so embarrassed!"
-Sasuke: "Naruto... what comes after six?"
-Naruto: "It depends... Are you referring to what occurs next in normal numerical order? Relate to the previous digits; perhaps there is a discernable pattern that must be considered before a feasible answer can be given..."
-Kakashi: "PU! What stinks in here?!"
-Zabuza: (Holding a little stray kitten gently, looking at Haku with the Sad Puppy Face) "Can I keep him? Please?"
-Sasuke: (Rolls on the floor, laughing so hard tears fall from his eyes, pounding his fists on the floor and kicking)
-Kakashi: (Sitting on the floor and hugging himself, rocking back and forth, eyes looking bloodshot and void) "Make them go away... Make them go away... Tell the voices to go away... Make them go away..."
-Iruka: "Stomp through the bees, an' burn through the trees, an' slam in da back o' my Bulldozer!" (ALA "Dragula" wink
Any of the Ninja: (Being held at gunpoint, trembling and whimpering) "P..P...Please d..don't hurt me... I... I'll do w..whatever you say..."
-Naruto: *Thinks out loud* I'm going to piss on myself!
-Shikamaru: WHAT???
-Ino: I need breast implants.
*Itachi humping Sakura on trampoline*
-Haku walking up street: GO ITACHI!!
-Anko:I love you Sailor Mercury!
-Sailor Mercury: I love you too Anko!
*The two start making out*
-Jiraiya: Just call me "The Little White Albino Thing"
-Shikamru: Ino? Why is your face white?
-Ino: Its because I whack you off while you're sleeping.
*Shikamaru passes out*
-Gaara: *singing* I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm really really gay! (ala Animaniacs "I'm mad" wink
*Kakashi sitting on couch with his shirt off drinking a beer*
-Sakura: *Rubs Kakashi's chest* Oh Kakashi lets make passionate love.
-Kakashi: Ok
*They go upstairs and start having sex*
-Hinata: Kakashi, Sakura, I'm hearing scary noises...OH MY GOD!!!
-Sakura: Do you want to join us?
-Hinata: Oh Sakura you don't know how much I've wanted to have sex with you!
-Iruka: Lets all become Sailor Senshi!
-All: YAY!!!
-Iruka: We'll call it TRAGICMOON
-Konohamaru: I'm Sailor Ninja
-Zabuza: I'm Super Sailor Demon
-Naruto: I'm Sailor Chibi Shinobi
-Gaara: I'm Sailor Sand
-TenTen: I'm Sailor Chibi Nin
-Tenmari`: I'm Sailor ChibiChibi
-Haku: I'm Super Sailor Chibi Death
-Tazuna: I'm Sailor Old Guy
-Kabuto: I'm Sailor Mirai Slave
-Sakura: I'm Sailor Chibi Sugar
-Sasuke: I'm Sailor Short Guy
-Kakashi: I'm Sailor Tall Guy
-Shikamaru: I'm Sailor brown Ninja
-Jiraiya: I'm Sailor White Albino Thing
-Shino: I'm Sailor Weakling
-Neji: I'm Great Sailor Water
-Asuma: I'm Sailor Fat a**
-Kurenai: I'm Sailor Absorb You and Become Stronger.
-Obito: I'm Sailor Transexual
-Villagers: We're The Sailor Village Girls
-Anko: I'm Sailor Eat A lot of Sushi
-Rin: I'm Sailor Laugh-a-lot
-Ino: I'm Sailor b***h-a-lot
-Tsunade: I'm Sailor b***h even more
-Itachi: I'm Sailor blink and Kill You
-Orochimaru: I'm Sailor Lipstick
-All: We Will Punish you
-Naruto: Isa be attend a unarvarsity is ummer
-Kakashi: Huh???
-Naruto: I'm attending a university this summer you idiot!
-Kakashi: OK
-Naruto: SEXYSEXYSEXYSEXYSEXYSEXY JUTSU I started to Sexy Jutsu but I forgot to stop.
-Neji: I just discovered I'm really a Horse *laughs out loud*
-Orochimaru walking: I'm walking to New Orleans (ala Fats Domino)
-Kakashi: *trips and falls down stairs* AAAAHHHHH!
-Naruto: OH MY GOD Kakashi!!!...Can I have your Sharingan Eye?
-Naruto: When I look at people I see candy.*Sees Shikamaru* OOH FOOD!!!
-Shikamaru: OH SHOOT NOT AGAIN!!! (ala Who wants to be a zillionaire)
-Shino: I'm the Snakelight...from Black and Decker.
-Itachi: I'm Itachi Bravo the one man army!!!
-Asuma: I have no muscles.
-Zabuza: Hey Haku do you want a joint?
-Haku: Sure Zabuza
-Rock Lee: I'm really short.
-Sakura: I have huge boobs!!!
-Itachi: I love you Kakashi!
-Kakashi: I love you too! *The two start making out*
-Naruto: At last my ultimate creation...#69er
-Ino: GO LONG Rock Lee *passes football*
-Naruto: Interception by Hinata...TOUCHDOWN!!!
-Sakura: I'm open Sasuke
-Sasuke: *passes basketball*
-Neji: *Catches ball*
-Sasuke: SLAM DUNK!!
-Shikamru: Pikachu I choose you!!
-Naruto dressed as Pikachu: I hate you Shikamaru.
-Kakashi: I look like Rambo with this headband!
-Gaara: *lying on couch naked*
-Neji: *Lying on floor naked*
-Gaara: I told you not to fall off!
-Neji: Sorry Gaara *cries*
-Gaara: Its Ok Neji you can get back on.
-Neji: OK *climbs back on top of Gaara*
-Orochimaru Washing dishes in a pink lace apron: **cockroach runs across floor**
AAHHHHH a bug kill it, kill it Fire Jutsu!!!!! **Fries cockroach**
MMMMM **Eats cockroach** It's crunchy. **sound of Itachi's frying pan on
Orochimaru's head**
-Kakashi: F**K YOU SAKURA!!!
-Sakura: I'd love to...when? Where? And How?
-Kakashi: Right here, right now, missionary style.
-People in CA: EARTHQUAKE!!!!!
-Naruto: Shoot I fell out of bed again!
-Shikamaru with head stuck under couch cushion: I can't find the friggin thing!
-TenTen: Hurry Shikamaru it's almost dinnertime for my Pooky *pooky is TenTen's teddy bear*
-Sasuke: Just promise you'll never tell mom about this, OK.
-Itachi: I wont, I never want to stop having incest sex with you.
-Anko: *running around in Sailor Mercury's dress* These miniskirts are so
comfortable!
-Sailor Mercury: *runs down stairs in Anko's uniform* Gimmie back my
damn skirt!!
-Iruka: I...can't have...multiple...orgasms *Cries*
-Kakashi: I'm just a love machine and I won't work for nobody but you!
-Asuma: Wow! I think I see hair growing. Oh wait, its just lint…
-Gai: It's not easy being green…
-Sakura: Who wants to go out and make some trouble?
-Iruka: Hey Naruto I'm horny .
-Hinata: Beans, beans the musical fruit. The more you eat the more you toot.
-Kakashi: Hey there La La (teletubbies)
-Naruto: Dammit stop calling me that!
-Kakashi: Chicks dig scars.
-Itachi: Keep your eye on the birdie now say cheese !
-Kakashi: CHID.......now what was that last part?
-Iruka: Take this job and shove it!
-Sasuke: Maybe if I wore pants I wouldn't get my leg hair singed.
-Itachi: Would ya look at that? It says "Kill" on the back of my shirt.
-Shikamaru: It's true I am Tuxedo Mask.
-3rd Hokage: Why did I buy a car?
-Kakashi: Well, I don't know how to fix this crazy thingamajig.
-Sakura to Sasuke: Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
-Itachi to Kakashi: I know its gross but I can't stop thinking about you.
-Ino: Who wants bacon?
-Hokage: Kiss my wrinkled white butt!
-Zabuza: My mom says violence is wrong and by golly I'm gonna listen to her.
-Neji: I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothing, but I think unicorns are kick a**.
-Gaara: Ino, do you like movies about gladiators?
-Rock Lee to Gai: Up yours green giant!
-Kakashi to Sakura and Naruto: Have fun battling evil you two!
-Tsunade: Okay who's the prankster that put Nair in my shampoo?
-Sakura: Sasuke You're cheating on me? With who? C'mon I can see you under the covers. Huh? Shikamaru?!!
-Orochimaru: Grab me by the balls and make a wish baby!
-Sakura: No Gaara, I am not Videl Sassoon so stop calling me!
-Jiraiya: Excellent idea old chum. We will venture down to the planet Earth, destroy the homosapiens, then consume the planet's recourses. Splendid, simply splendid.
-Tenmari: Oh crap I'm married to the president of the Lollipop Guild.
-Kakashi: Gray skies are gonna clear up. Put on a happy face!
-Itachi: Whew good thing I can't get stronger!
-Itachi :If I would have picked that dress, Kakashi would have accepted me.
-Shikamaru :Tenmari!!! Where's Tsunade's lipstick?
-Tenmari: In our room, be careful to not disturb her and Sakura!
-Iruka: No, no ,no. You have it on wrong, Hokage.
-Itachi:But Kakashi, didn't you tell them about us yet?
-Kakashi:And ruin our wedding? I don't think so.
-Naruto: Kakashi, orange just isn't me. I've gotta have the pink one.
-Sasuke: Naruto!! Where's the cord?!
-Naruto:In your pocket.
-Sasuke:Were you looking at it again?
-Naruto razz ossibly...
-Gai:But Kakashi you promised me.
-Kakashi:It's just not working out for us.
-Sakura:Sasuke, I thought you loved me.
-Sasuke:Nah I was just using you. Neji!
-Itachi :Welcome to the gay family, whereas I and Kakashi are the parents..
-Kakashi :It's Kakashi and I, get it straight you gay, geez..
-Iruka :When do I get paid for being here?
-Itachi surprised kay I wake up and I have no boyfriend, and now I have two Kakashi's?
What's going on?
-Sakura :Kakashi, I'll help ya' dye it again. This time we're going lighter.
-Ino:To get it that blonde, you've gotta drink the Clorox bleach.
-Tsunade:So that's your secret?
-Itachi:I am having a good day....
-Zabuza:Look for the PMS truck on your way out.
-Naruto:Kakashi, you told me that my thingie's too small..
-Kakashi:I know..Itachi's better sized..
-Jiraiya:There's no place like my bathroom..There's no place like my
bathroom....
-Tenmari:Give it a rest!
-Gaara:The Congo's two miles north..I'll see you tonight.
-Iruka:Where's my lacey one Asuma!!
-Sasuke:Fire..fire..fire..fire...Explosion at the next exit!!!
-Iruka:You're sexy Naruto..
-Sasuke:No,no,no,no,no. Try it again..Lift the leg higher..
-Sakura:it can't go any higher..
-Shikamaru: Legs spread wide open...
-Sakura: Naruto get going. You don't want to be late for your midnight
orgy!
-Naruto:Should I wear green or blue?
-Gai:I hate green...
-Sasuke:Bald man strikes again...
-Gai:Cue ball gets head smashed into wall...
-Shikamaru:I just can't seem to get on Kakashi's good side,EVER.
-Iruka: In case of an emergency, my head has been designed as a floatation device.
-Asuma: Look at my bulging muscles you girly girls! (ala Hans & Franz)
-Naruto: I'm not overweight! I'm....undertall.
-Kakashi: *shows up with a chicken leg in hand* Always when I'm eating!
-Jiraiya: I wanted to join the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but nooooooooooo! That Splinter guy wouldn't have it! Too violent, he said! You're not a turtle, he said! But I'll show him!
-Kakashi: Chidori!
-Sakura: Kakashi!!*Sakura hits Kakashi in the head with a frying pan* How
many times do I have to tell you, to open the door, just use the doorknob!!
-Gaara: Daaa Bears
-Neji: Daaa Bulls!
-Gaara: So who do you think would win in a fight, Naruto or Coach Ditka?
-Neji: Coach Ditka.
-Gaara: Whoa whoa, hold on. What if Naruto WAS Coach Ditka...?
*The three indulge in some deep thought* (ala SnL)
Naruto Never Says
-Chouji: My name is NOT Chouji, It is Ino!
-Sakumo: Kakashi, I don't want you fighting anymore.
-Kakashi's Mother: Oh come on, let the boy have some fun.
-Sakumo: you stay out of this! I'm afraid I'm not going to let Kakashi play anymore until he attends to his suitors.
-Kotetsu: Anko leave Ibiki alone you nagging b***h!
-Naruto: Hey it's not my fault that I put too much Miracle Grow on the miniature tree!
-Temari: *talking to the Tree, helping it grow*
-Shino: *Trying out his new cereal* Yes kids, the new PickleOs! Little Os, with a touch f pickle flavor! Just look for me, Shino, on the box. And for a limited time, in every PickleOs cereal, you get your very own piccolo (the instrument) free! In specially marked boxes! Buy and try the new cereal today!
-TenTen: *singing* Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm going to eat some worms
-Tsunade: *Steve Urkel style* Did I do that? Hee hee hee hee! *snort* *snort* *snort*!
*Little Rascals*
-Naruto: Do you like pickles?
-Sasuke: My mom makes me eat them.
-Naruto: Really? I love pickles.
*Sasuke thinks for a moment*
-Sasuke: Ill give you a pickle for a nickel.
-Naruto: But all I got is two cents.
-Sasuke: Oh, that's okay.
*Sasuke and Naruto trade the pickle and two cents*
-Naruto: *starts singing* I got two pickles, I got two pickles, I got two pickles today, hey hey! Do dee, doo dee doo two pickles, I got two pickles today, hey hey!
*End of Little Rascals*
-Budweiser frogs: Nar-u-to!
-Sakura: I just love beanie babies!
-Kotetsu: What are you talking about? They don't even make beanies of us!
-Sakura: Oh, never mind then.
-Shikamaru: Shake your bon-bon, shake you bon-bon...
(Shikamaru begins dancing, Ricky Martin style)
-Ino: OooooOOOooh....
-Chouji: Little bunny foo-foo, hopping through the forest.....
-Bunny Foo-foo: You wanna piece o' dis, be-otch?!
-Chouji: ....gotta go.
-Asuma: What? What the HELL are you saying? YOU think you're BETTER at BASEBALL then ME?! ...than ME?!!?!?!
-Ken Griffey, Jr.: Well, kind of.
-Asuma: Die...
-K.G., Jr.: ....Gotta go.
-Kakashi: Oooh, which kind of Herbal Essences shampoo will I use today...
-Ibiki: Oooh, which kind of- *feels his head* ....d'oh....
-Dosu: Booyah! My mail-order bride finally came!
-Kotetsu: Okay Izumo, just, give me the candy and come down from the rafters...
-Izumo: POCKY!!
-Sakumo: There can be only one...
-Kakashi: Huh?
-Sakumo: Oh $hit! Did, I just say that out loud!
-Anko: What the hell do you mean, "your outta hairgel!?"
-Shino: Shhh, listen...do you smell something?
-Zaku: Oh no! STOP THE BATTLE! ::everyone stops:: It's "Buffy" time!
-Ibiki:*sings* I'm just a love machine...
-Sasuke to Itachi: F*** you you mother f***er! Go to damn hell!
-Itachi: M-my....F-feelings!!
-Kakashi: Now where the hell did he learn that kind of damn language? .......f***-diddly-s***
-Ibiki: I need hair.....
-Kotetsu: Don't we all?
-Anko: Wonder how I keep my hair so sparkly? It's easy! Just add some.....some.....What comes before r?
-Asuma: Huh?
-Anko: Well!? What is it!? I was looking at cue cards the entire time!
-Asuma: Um.....pretty sure it's "plastic" Or...or....."pikachu"
-Anko: NO! He's a Pokemaniac too!
-Asuma: Wanna trade a Nidoking for a Charizard!? Huh? Huh? Wanna play at Toys R' Us for my holographic Mewtwo!?
-Chouji: I was told a pink marshmallow ran past here with the Stay Puft marshmallow Man? Where is he?
-Kotetsu: How the hell should I know? Man, get outta here! I'm listening to Motzart!
-Chouji: Hey! I thought we were in this Ban the Marshmallows thing TOGETHER, Dosu!
-Dosu: Go fuse with a donkey!
-Chouji: *cries and runs off into the woods never to return*
-Kakashi: Naruto.....since you're becoming 15 in two days now.....I wanna tell you about...love..
-Naruto: Teacher taught us already. Stick piece A through Slot B-
-Kakashi: QUIET!
-Hinata: Ino........this just isn't working out...Sakura's so hot and...
-Ino: I got implants
-Hinata: To hell with Sakura!
-Kakashi: The chicks love me. Sorry, Itachi
-Itachi: WHY!? I thought I was the stud!
-Kakashi: Oh my god, HE'S GAY! I'm so ashamed!
-Zaku: Dosu, you want that ice cream cone now?
-Naruto: Sasuke...face it....you're never gonna get the ladies
-Sasuke: But....I.....
-Naruto: teacher taught us some advice that one day you had the chicken pox.....Just stick piece A into Slot B-
-Kakashi: QUIET!
-Naruto: KAKASHI-SENSEI!? But you went off to Tibet to become a monk 15 years ago
-Kakashi: hey everyone....this is Kakashi........uh....cue card? Hello? CUE CARD!?
-Itachi: Mmmm....now's my chance...KAKASHI! Kisame left me! Blow his a** off and LOVE ME!
-Kakashi: AHHHHHHHH! NARUTO, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE YET AGAIN!
-Naruto: No can do! I'm stuck to the potato chip stain again!
THERE IS MORE TO COME...
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Interesting things
Yes this does have some of my older work in it, but it is mostly facts and history.
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