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Ignoring every
t e m p t a t i o n...
Well, honestly not so much depression-ish crap as apathy crap.
Today I've been feeling quite apathetic and just sort of bleh. Really, my mood has kind of been, "Blah, ******** everything" and thinking over past events and being insecure about it.
Truth is, I'm kind of insecure person, when left alone to think over my life. I'm not pretty. I'm horrible at P.E. and I can't seem to get any better at it. And then come the thoughts of my friends. Do they really like me? Are they really my friends, and do they really trust and like me as a person? I wonder if they just put up with me because they're too nice to tell me to go away and sulk in silence like the stupid annoying freak I am. I don't know. Well, I kind of do. I mean, a little sensible voice tells me that they most likely do like me as friend and aren't just putting up with me. Most likely. One can never be sure.
The reason I wonder is because of how weird people are. I mean, people seem to sometimes act rude and bitchy towards me even though I've never even talked to the person. And then, for a school year or two I'm friends with someone and then over one summer they don't like me and act mean towards me. It's probably because I'm not the most "in" person to hang out with, but I don't see why they have to act mean towards me when we were once friends.
I seem to be pretty good at comforting other people but I can't do s**t when it comes to myself. People are stupid. That's the only answer I can think of.
People aren't usually worth it.
Only to destroy my sanity
 dalia salvd · Mon Dec 01, 2008 @ 02:23am · 0 Comments |
