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I still miss you... (A Hinder Lyrics Inspired Story) |
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The baby was crying again.
Shawn sighd and rolled over to look at the clock. 2:38 AM stared back in bright red LED light. He's only gone to bed a few hours ago. Groaning, he got out of bed and headed towards the high pitched wail that was steadily getting louder. Barefeet shuffled down the hallway and to the other room he had made into a nursery only six months earlier. A calloused hair reached out for the door and pushed it open. Inside, his daughter was crying and whimpering in her crib.
All the tension from lack of sleep instantly faded as he picked up the infant. She was so small and vulernable, how could he stay mad at her? Moonlight shone through the blinds, casting an eery glow about the room. The walls were sunflower yellow and cloudless sky blue. Personally, he didn't think that coulds should have fancy names. But then again, it hadn't been his decision.
"Hush sweetie. Let Daddy make it all better." His voice was gravelly and one that had once been filled with emotion. Now... Closing his eyes, he started to rock the baby girl as he held her close; now, his voice was for work and for the one he held. The others who tried to show interest or draw him out of his shell were met with cold stares. Carefully, he held the girl up and matching pairs of deep blue eyes watched each other for a long moment. Bringing the girl back in close, her crying had subdued greatly as she rested in his arms.
"I bet you miss your mama. Well, I miss her too. But we got to stick together, me and you. So how about, you sleep with me beautiful?"
She hiccuped once and he took that as a yes. Making soothing noises and grabbing her stuffed bunny, the one he did not pick out, Shawn started the shuffle back to his room. He stopped for a moment at the doorway and looked in; a large, empty bed was waiting for the both of them. Wisely, the little one stayed quiet. Shawn laid her down and bundled blankets around her. Wouldn't do to have her rolling off the bed. Warm and nestled tightly, the infant drifted off to sleep. He watched her; he was sure she was dreaming as she twitched or sighed in her sleep. Finally, he laid down. An arm curled about the small bumdle. He was staring at a picture of a happy family. Everyone was relaxed and smiling...not like now. The woman in the picture was obviously in love and proud of the child she held in her arms.
Silent tears slid down Shawn's cheeks, dampening the pillows that they had shared. How long had it been now? He was sick with himself that he had forgotten to count the minutes that she was out of their life. It wasn't even something common or someone he could get angry; if he got angry, then he would not be able to keep his daughter. It was because of the pregnancy that no one had realized anything was wrong until it was too late. The first few weeks after his wife was gone, Shawn didn't even wash the sheets or give away her clothes. He still missed the smell of her skin and wrapping himself around her at night.
Everyone was telling him it wasn't healthy to just go to work and come home. That he had to start living, see the sun shining. But no one understood that the sun was right next to him slumbering on. With each precious finger and toe, this little angel would be what got him through all of the pain. Would get him through missing her so much that it choked him. Shawn finally closed his eyes and drifted to sleep next to his baby girl.
There was a shimmer in the moonlight. There was nothing for it to reflect off of so this anamoly was quite curious. Dark brown eyes stared at the man and baby in front of her. She ached to touch them both, brush his curls back and kiss his cheek. But there was no substance to her now. All she could do was steal a few moments to be with them and then go back.
It was not normal for her to stick around so long. But she knew there was a purpose for it. It had been her motto that she lived by and wouldn't stop just because her body was no longer there for her. To everything there is a reason... And so, she flitted around and waited for her final task in life. Reaching out, she was sure there was irony in that thought. When she faded away in the morning, she was never quite sure where she went... But there was the urgency that she was still needed.
In the kitchen, a faulty wire sparked. It would not have been so bad but instead of trashing the paper like he normally did, Shawn had left it on the counter and gone to collapse in bed. Little flames of red and gold ate away at the fuel and crawled across the marble top to papertowels and a dish clothe... Hungrily, the fire devored was it could and spread more rampant.
That urgency had now come to head. She could feel the importance of it spilling over. Turning and looking down the hallway, she could not see anything. Some part of that realized that was wrong. You should be able to see all the way to the living room. Gliding to the bed, she placed her hand on her young daughter's cheek.
Time to wake little one.
Someone was calling her.
Not the same low voice that she was used to nor was it the high pitched voice that made silly faces. Blinking slowly, the baby opened her eyes and tried to focus on the blurry image in front of her. It made her feel happy and loved. It was the one she was missing. Reaching her little arms out, she frantically tried to grab and hold onto it. And when she couldn't...
The baby was crying again.
The sharp, hysterical cries instantly woke up Shawn. He looked down, afraid that he had rolled onto his child. Instead, he started coughing and swore violently. There was smoke everywhere and could barely see where his daughter was beneath him.
"What the hell?" He cursed. Then scolded himself; he was supposed to break that habit for his baby's sake. But now was not the time to dwell on such trivial s**t. He grabbed for his daughter and stood up. He could see the low orange glow coming from the hallway and living room area. It was then that the smoke detector choice to go off. The ear splitting warning combined with the still present screaming child was enough to truly wake him and jolt him out of inaction. He looked around and tried to remembe what the plan was to get out of the house. How many times had they gone over the plan just in case something like this happened?
Let's see, he was in the back masterbedroom. Luckily, the house was only one story. Placing the baby furthest away from the door, he took a book and shattered the window. Silly man, he could have just opened the windows. But it was a heavy, leatherbound book that left his hands as he smashed; it hit the ground and pictures went flying all over the place. Grabbing all the sheets and covers on the bed, Shawn tossed them outside as well. They were going to need something to land on. Grabbing the baby, he pulled himself up and allowed them to tumble out the window with her tucked in. His shoulder and back hit first and hard. Grunting, he rolled and then looked down.
The wailing had stopped but the whimpering and fear was still there. Where was the glowing woman who had made her feel so safe? Reaching for the other one who could comfort her, she sniffled and wanted to nurse.
The orange glow had no reached the bedroom and was all over the house. It ate away at all the memories the wooden frame had held. Took away pointless material possessions and unspoken priceless ones. Shawn grabbed the leatherbook and blankets and moved them farther back from the house and towards the driveway. In the distance, the sound of fire trucks filled the air. Help was on the way. It was gone, everything they had worked for and built up destroyed in about fifteen minutes. He couldn't help it, he started crying... Bawling his tears and sorrows to a started babe. His eyes became red-rimmed and he felt weak and helpless. What was left for him, for them now? What was most important was now burning in front of him.
Suddenly, it felt like he had been smacked hard in the shoulder, Shawn whirled around. And there, in front of him, was his beloved wife. She looked faded but somehow more beautiful than she ever appeared in life. Frowning, she stared at him and then looked down at their daughter.
"Cassie? Is that... Are you..."
No words would come out of his mouth to complete the thoughts that raced through his mind. He felt like a child under inspection as she frowned at him. Tapping her foot, she pointed to their daughter and shook her head. Looking down, he realized that his blue eyes were staring up at him. Pulling her a little closer, Shawn turned back to his dead wife.
"She's getting big, huh? Our little angel is growing on me fast. Cassie... I miss you so much... I can't just let go! Not after everything we had and what we created." Tears were running freely down his cheeks and hitting the ground beneath him.
Crossing her hands over her heart, the spirit gave him a smile to let him know that he was being silly. She took a step forward and blew him a kiss. There was no way she would be able to touch her baby but just seeing them together had healed what little wound was festering in her heart. With her purpose down, she tapped her head and pointed back at him.
A warmth washed through Shawn as Cassie pointed at him. Some unseen force kept him rooted to the ground as she waved goodbye. He felt her kiss warm his cheek; as the sun began to peek over the horizon, she simply faded away...hand raised in that final goodbye. The firetrucks and paramedics had arrived. He had no clue how long they had been there or how long he had been kneeling, staring off. Murmurs of shock and possible hyperthermia touched his ears as he blinked slowly to wake himself from the dream. His angel face was gone but had left him something much more important.
Their daughter and the will to go out and live again.
Allowing himself to be pulled to his feet, Shawn was herded over to the ambulance where the medics were checking on his infant. A blank expression and slight smile on his face when he was able to hold her again let one particular girl with dark brown eyes and a quick smile that everyone was going to be alright. The house was gone, gutted down to the basic frame... But what was material possessions compared to precious memories?
Shawn truly smiled for the first time in months. Looking down, he whispered to his daugher. "Are you ready to go home?"
 Naree · Mon Apr 30, 2007 @ 12:36pm · 0 Comments |
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