I wrote this awhile ago when I was apparently really really mad. I wrote this in my other accounts journal and I just wanted to put it here too. I wrote this for me to look at later on since a journal in my house is apparently no longer private stare Well whatever.
I've been thinking about my life a lot lately and have come to a conclusion,
LIFE SUCKS.
No matter how many times you try to tell yourself that somebody else has it worse, or that you're lucky you have your life that good. Regardless of you haveing so much money you could whipe your a** with it or being so dirt poor you're wearing trash bags for clothing, all people lives suck in some way or another.
As they say, "One mans dream is another man nightmare."
Some weeks you think, "Aw this is awesome, life isn't so bad I guess," then next week you're all, "awww....F***!" But yea thats life. Life is really just a slow process of dying. So right now if your reading this your dying right now. Slowly. Very very slowly.
Also I've been thinking about, you know when you're little and you can't wait to get older so you can do whatever the hell you want? That's total bull sh!t. All you do when you grow up is work, work, work, have a kid, get married -maybe, then get old enough to where you don't know where the hell you are and you don't realize you've just soiled yourself. It seems like that was only a week ago that I was a kid who just wanted to be grown up. Looking at it now, growing up sucks. We've all had that thought at one point in our life. When your older you think back about yourself as a kid wishing to be older and then one day, when your just sitting in your room in silence this thought comes to you. It finds you and makes you a little scared. You just want to be a little kid again. You don't want all these responsibilities, worries, and all out junk you have to deal with in your life. Life goes really really fast. You don't think it does but when you really think about it, it really really does. But we all have to except we're all just going to grow older and older till we die.
I for one don't want to die of old age. I'd rather get in a car accident or be impaled with a pole, or hit by a train or really anything other than old age. I would much rather be shot or killed trying to help someone then dying of old age. I guess you could say I'm afraid of getting older. I'm not afraid of death, I just don't like the idea of getting into my 20's or 30's. But I guess I have to except the fact that we all just grow old and die. Even if its not something you want to think about, thoughts like this just come out of nowhere sometimes.
Yea so if you read this you either think I'm insane or emo and I'd like to think I'm not either.
If I had to chose which one I'd rather you'd think I was I'd choose insane.
I just felt like writing this down. I really didn't want to save it onto my computer thinking my parents would think somethings wrong with me.
Please comment if you feel it fit. Even if you're just commenting something like, "omfg! Whiney emo kid." It really won't bother me because I'm not emo and whatever.
(note) 15 when I wrote this
