stare Okay so a few days ago a girl started telling chris they liked him. i was like no i will kill you. then after a couple days the girl got his number from chris's sister. then she began texting him. i was so sad. i know it was something small and i should not have acted like that but i did. i had a damn panic attack for balls sake. confused my brother beleives that in a way he was trying to compete with the fact that corey has been emailing me like there is no tomorrow. i don't want corey chris knows that. sweatdrop but i do talk about corey a lot . how could I
I not, though. He was my best-friend. I also was engaged to the b*****d. I feel like I act so stupid around Chris.
I can not understand why I like him so much. I never stay this long with any guy. cry It breaks my heart to think he would cheat on me. I know he would not. I trust my brother's opinion and they say that Chris does not seem that way. I posted a thing on Myspace about this. Chris read it and said heather. You worry way to much. i want you so stop
This is what I put on my myspace:
There is something I have failed to mention. I at loss for words.
I had a nightmare last night. about someone i care about. it was a stupid nightmare. something i should not worry over
but see theres the thing....if i don't worry what if it comes true. i feel as if i can't talk to anyone. about how i feel. especially the one i want to tell. I had a panic attack last night. One I should not have had. The words of various friends and family members come to my head. i can not believe you have lasted this long. and i can not get him out of my head. but i am scared. he does not feel the same. i trust him....full heartedly....but what if he does not trust me or worse care about me. i know i am thinking ot much but i do this. someone has to. i need him to say...."baby i want you" or other words that mean the same. i cried yesterday the first time i have cried in about 6 months. because i felt like he would choose her, over me. and to tell you truthfully it hurt. it felt like a stab throught the heart. i know i should be thinking if he does not like you let it be...but i can not. i know not why. i feel stupid...ignorant perhaps. but not unjustifiably wrong.
i will keep this up for a week to see if anyone comments to this....if no one does than i guess it was not worth putting it up.
Yup Yup that is what I put. He commented saying
Baby, you know i want you. you worry to much.
I know i do but sometimes I wonder if everyone else just does not worry enough.
 Orchids of Apocalypse · Tue Jul 31, 2007 @ 09:13pm · 1 Comments |
